What do you think would make you describe your life as satisfying and successful? According to research, it’s the quality of your friendships more than anything else…

Robin Dunbar, professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of Oxford, and author of Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationship, makes it clear: friendships are vital to our happiness and longevity.

The single best predictor of our psychological health, wellbeing, physical health, and even how long we live, is the number and the quality of close friends that we have. The same conclusions were drawn by researchers in the longest study on happiness, which followed 268 men over 75 years of their lives. Men with warm, social relationships and friendships considered their lives successful and lived longer, were wealthier, and had more satisfying marriages. However, this was only true if the social relationships they had were of high quality.

With this striking evidence in mind, improve the quality of your friendships with three easy hacks.

1. Make room in your busy schedule to spend time with your friends

Friendships are so vital to our wellbeing, happiness, and longevity because of the effect that friends have on our body. “The things you do with friends, whether it be laughter, singing or eating together, triggers the endorphin system in the brain,” explains Professor Dunbar. “This, in turn, supports the immune system, destroying viruses and some cancer cells. So, the things that might cause you serious discomfort or serious illness are either eliminated or reduced. And, therefore, you live longer.”

Importantly, this effect on our body is the strongest when we are physically with our friends. Social media and phones are useful devices for maintaining friendships, as they remind our friends that we keep thinking about them. However, as Professor Dunar stresses, “Nothing really substitutes being able to sit across the table and stare into the whites of the eyes of the other person, and reach out and give them a hug or a pat on the shoulder. These are the things that really kick in the endorphin system”.

That is why making time in your busy schedule to actually see your friends in person is the key to harvesting the wellbeing outcomes of friendships.

2. Find precious moments and stories to share with your friends

When spending time with your friends, concentrate on sharing stories and precious moments, as these bring us together and build further connections. Storytelling and sharing experiences also contribute to the release of endorphins in the brain that makes you feel bonded to the particular person you are doing the selected activity with.

Also, as friends tend to be very similar to us, concentrating on the things we have in common is shown to strengthen our bond.

“There are ‘scene pillars’ of friendships, and the more of those dimensions you share with somebody, the stronger the relationship is,” explains Professor Dunbar. These are your gender, personality, education, ethnicity, interests, moral views, and m

Psychotherapist, author, podcast host, and mum-of-three Anna Mathur shares how negative comparison can so easily creep into our lives, but with some self-compassion and awareness, we can see the bigger picture

How many times have you found yourself scrolling through social media and sensing the crushing weight of comparison? You might be taking a five-minute break from work, while everyone else seems to be living their #bestlife, jetting off on holiday, or preparing homemade picnics for a blissful afternoon, while you’ve just spent the entire morning scrubbing porridge off the wall from a breakfast mishap.

It’s a universal truth that each and every one of us will fall foul of the comparison cloud at some point in our lives, as psychotherapist Anna Mathur explains on Happiful’s podcast, ‘I am. I have’. And she’s more than willing to share how it impacts her, too.

“Comparison turns up in so many different areas of my life,” she says. “It’s a constant dialogue I have to have with myself, and if I don’t it can just run riot!”

However, Anna is quick to explain that comparison is not a wholly negative behaviour.

“Comparison in and of itself is a self-protective force,” she notes. “Comparison can help us to judge if perhaps we could do something better; we might look at someone else’s situation and realise that there’s something we want to be doing, and it drives us forward and motivates us to go after that for ourselves, if it’s something positive.

“And if you look back to caveman days, comparison kept people safe then,” she continues. “You might have realised that you weren’t as strong as another person, so they would be the better bet for hunting and gathering. Comparison can be about assessing ability, so that everyone is using their strengths and resources in the best way.”

Thinking about comparison in this light could certainly help us to question why we are comparing, what we’re taking away from the act, and why it’s necessary for us in that moment. Curiosity around why a particular person’s situation makes us reflect upon our own life could lead to some insights as to how we’re coping, where we might feel stuck, want to grow, or indeed need help from others.

So, how do we determine when comparison is leading us to take stock of where we are and want to be, and when it’s simply become a stick to beat ourselves with?

“Comparison becomes problematic, and this is something I personally struggle with, when I use the difference between me and someone else to make a statement about myself,” Anna admits.

“Say I’ve had a really rough morning with the kids, and I’ve not responded in a way I feel particularly proud of, and then I go shopping and I see a mum being so incredibly patient with her toddler having a tantrum. What happens in my brain is very, very quick: ‘She’s a better mum than me. I’m a rubbish mum. I’m a failure.’

“In a split second, I’ve made two incredibly powerful statements about myself: being a rubbish mum, and a failure. Can you imagine going up to another woman and sayi

Sharing some of my favorite fashion finds for fall + some new wardrobe essentials.

Helloooooo! How’s the week going? I hope you’re having a great morning so far! I’m subbing a class at the gym and meeting with a friend for coffee afterwards. It’s been raining a ton here in Tucson lately (summer monsoons are the best) and it’s cooled down a bit. While we’re definitely not ready for boots and sweaters here, it’s making me very excited for fall.

For today’s post, I thought I’d share some of the fall fashion picks that I have my eye on + some wardrobe essentials. I’d love to hear what you’re scoping out for fall and if there are any trends this season that you actually like. Fashion has been a bit weird the past couple of years, but I tend to stick to the classics, like blazers, sweater dresses, cute headbands, and cozy sweaters over the fall and winter season.

Here are some of my top picks!

Fall Wardrobe Essentials

Tops and sweaters

This gorgeous cut-out sweater. I have one from last year and wore it all the time.

Classic v-neck button-up.

This recycled cashmere wrap sweater.

This off-shoulder pullover.

Outerwear and blazers

Classic black blazer.

LOVE this plaid blazer.

This lightweight star jacket.

Dresses and skirts

I want this sweater dress in every color.

This floral dress would be so cute with booties or heeled sandals.

These sleeves are everything.

The perfect date night dress.

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Specifically aimed at students in further education, a new journal co-created by Samaritans and The Positive Planner seeks to improve wellbeing

University can be a brilliant, joyful experience for many. But it can also be tough on mental health. For those with existing mental health concerns, living away from parents (often for the first time), the pressure to make new friends and being put under the stress that comes with further education can all exacerbate conditions. It can also trigger the onset of conditions for some as they navigate a new stage of life.

The pandemic has, perhaps unsurprisingly, made matters worse for some. The NUS (National Union of Students) has reported that half of students say their mental health is worse than it was before Covid, noting feelings of anxiety, stress, loneliness and depression.

Coming together over a mutual concern for students’ mental health, suicide prevention charity Samaritans has joined forces with wellbeing journaling brand The Positive Planner to create The Positive Student Planner. The partnership arose after students asked for an alternative to online support. After two years of the pandemic where everything from studying to socialising took place online, students were keen for something different.

The planner guides students to develop coping mechanisms for tougher times and more positive habits to support them long-term

This new planner (created with the help of leading student mental health expert Dr Dominique Thompson and UK students) supports students in a practical and emotional way. Helping users better understand their thoughts and feelings, the journal also encourages self-care while tackling common challenges such as budgeting, meeting new people and balancing work and fun. The planner also guides students to develop coping mechanisms for tougher times and more positive habits to support them long-term.

Within the planner there are daily journaling pages, meal, time and budget planning pages, self-acceptance exercises, breathing exercises and tools to challenge negative self-beliefs. Students who buy the planner will also receive regular emails with tips from their peers, written by student writers at young people’s mental health charity Student Life.

While Samaritans are best known for their support to those in crisis, they also encourage people to look after their wellbeing every day in an effort to prevent people reaching crisis point

Journaling encourages reflection, self-awareness and an exploration of thoughts and feelings, all of which can be incredibly beneficial to mental health and wellbeing. While Samaritans are best known for their support to those in crisis, they also encourage people to look after their wellbeing every day in an effort to prevent people reaching crisis point.

Neil Gilbert, Head of Supporter Innovation and Insight at Samaritans commented:

“Further education is a significant transition for people embarking on young adulthood – one many find challenging or lonely as they grapple with the reality of their independence. We jumped at the chance to work with The Positive Planner, along with students from a range of backgrounds, to co-design a resource that will help students prioritise and manage their own wellbeing at a time when it has never felt more needed. This is just one of the way

Have you tried German Pancakes? Served with Grandma’s orange sauce, they’re unforgettable. They are basically the world’s easiest to make giant popovers.

These pancakes are baked in the oven, where they rise tall and they gently fall, instead of being cooked on a griddle like traditional pancakes.

German Pancakes

I remember my grandmother waking early in the morning to start breakfast before anyone else was awake. We’d come downstairs and she’d already be working in the kitchen.

I’d peek through the oven door as the German pancakes rose so beautifully in the oven. German pancakes are a cross between a souffle and an omelet.

What is a Dutch Baby?

These are light airy pancakes with a unique taste. Often called Dutch baby pancakes, these are a real treat and a fun breakfast for a lazy weekend.

Have you made these? German pancakes rise amazingly high and then fall once they are removed from the oven. As a child, it was always exciting to watch the process. I waited years to attempt making them myself.

Once I discovered just how simple they are to make, I had to restrain myself from making them far too often. We love them with powdered sugar, or maple syrup, but my grandmother’s Orange Sauce is our favorite topping of all.

The sides of the pancake will rise high over the rim of the pie plate, as pictured below.

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