Psychotherapist, author, podcast host, and mum-of-three Anna Mathur shares how negative comparison can so easily creep into our lives, but with some self-compassion and awareness, we can see the bigger picture

How many times have you found yourself scrolling through social media and sensing the crushing weight of comparison? You might be taking a five-minute break from work, while everyone else seems to be living their #bestlife, jetting off on holiday, or preparing homemade picnics for a blissful afternoon, while you’ve just spent the entire morning scrubbing porridge off the wall from a breakfast mishap.

It’s a universal truth that each and every one of us will fall foul of the comparison cloud at some point in our lives, as psychotherapist Anna Mathur explains on Happiful’s podcast, ‘I am. I have’. And she’s more than willing to share how it impacts her, too.

“Comparison turns up in so many different areas of my life,” she says. “It’s a constant dialogue I have to have with myself, and if I don’t it can just run riot!”

However, Anna is quick to explain that comparison is not a wholly negative behaviour.

“Comparison in and of itself is a self-protective force,” she notes. “Comparison can help us to judge if perhaps we could do something better; we might look at someone else’s situation and realise that there’s something we want to be doing, and it drives us forward and motivates us to go after that for ourselves, if it’s something positive.

“And if you look back to caveman days, comparison kept people safe then,” she continues. “You might have realised that you weren’t as strong as another person, so they would be the better bet for hunting and gathering. Comparison can be about assessing ability, so that everyone is using their strengths and resources in the best way.”

Thinking about comparison in this light could certainly help us to question why we are comparing, what we’re taking away from the act, and why it’s necessary for us in that moment. Curiosity around why a particular person’s situation makes us reflect upon our own life could lead to some insights as to how we’re coping, where we might feel stuck, want to grow, or indeed need help from others.

So, how do we determine when comparison is leading us to take stock of where we are and want to be, and when it’s simply become a stick to beat ourselves with?

“Comparison becomes problematic, and this is something I personally struggle with, when I use the difference between me and someone else to make a statement about myself,” Anna admits.

“Say I’ve had a really rough morning with the kids, and I’ve not responded in a way I feel particularly proud of, and then I go shopping and I see a mum being so incredibly patient with her toddler having a tantrum. What happens in my brain is very, very quick: ‘She’s a better mum than me. I’m a rubbish mum. I’m a failure.’

“In a split second, I’ve made two incredibly powerful statements about myself: being a rubbish mum, and a failure. Can you imagine going up to another woman and sayi

Sharing some of my favorite fashion finds for fall + some new wardrobe essentials.

Helloooooo! How’s the week going? I hope you’re having a great morning so far! I’m subbing a class at the gym and meeting with a friend for coffee afterwards. It’s been raining a ton here in Tucson lately (summer monsoons are the best) and it’s cooled down a bit. While we’re definitely not ready for boots and sweaters here, it’s making me very excited for fall.

For today’s post, I thought I’d share some of the fall fashion picks that I have my eye on + some wardrobe essentials. I’d love to hear what you’re scoping out for fall and if there are any trends this season that you actually like. Fashion has been a bit weird the past couple of years, but I tend to stick to the classics, like blazers, sweater dresses, cute headbands, and cozy sweaters over the fall and winter season.

Here are some of my top picks!

Fall Wardrobe Essentials

Tops and sweaters

This gorgeous cut-out sweater. I have one from last year and wore it all the time.

Classic v-neck button-up.

This recycled cashmere wrap sweater.

This off-shoulder pullover.

Outerwear and blazers

Classic black blazer.

LOVE this plaid blazer.

This lightweight star jacket.

Dresses and skirts

I want this sweater dress in every color.

This floral dress would be so cute with booties or heeled sandals.

These sleeves are everything.

The perfect date night dress.

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Specifically aimed at students in further education, a new journal co-created by Samaritans and The Positive Planner seeks to improve wellbeing

University can be a brilliant, joyful experience for many. But it can also be tough on mental health. For those with existing mental health concerns, living away from parents (often for the first time), the pressure to make new friends and being put under the stress that comes with further education can all exacerbate conditions. It can also trigger the onset of conditions for some as they navigate a new stage of life.

The pandemic has, perhaps unsurprisingly, made matters worse for some. The NUS (National Union of Students) has reported that half of students say their mental health is worse than it was before Covid, noting feelings of anxiety, stress, loneliness and depression.

Coming together over a mutual concern for students’ mental health, suicide prevention charity Samaritans has joined forces with wellbeing journaling brand The Positive Planner to create The Positive Student Planner. The partnership arose after students asked for an alternative to online support. After two years of the pandemic where everything from studying to socialising took place online, students were keen for something different.

The planner guides students to develop coping mechanisms for tougher times and more positive habits to support them long-term

This new planner (created with the help of leading student mental health expert Dr Dominique Thompson and UK students) supports students in a practical and emotional way. Helping users better understand their thoughts and feelings, the journal also encourages self-care while tackling common challenges such as budgeting, meeting new people and balancing work and fun. The planner also guides students to develop coping mechanisms for tougher times and more positive habits to support them long-term.

Within the planner there are daily journaling pages, meal, time and budget planning pages, self-acceptance exercises, breathing exercises and tools to challenge negative self-beliefs. Students who buy the planner will also receive regular emails with tips from their peers, written by student writers at young people’s mental health charity Student Life.

While Samaritans are best known for their support to those in crisis, they also encourage people to look after their wellbeing every day in an effort to prevent people reaching crisis point

Journaling encourages reflection, self-awareness and an exploration of thoughts and feelings, all of which can be incredibly beneficial to mental health and wellbeing. While Samaritans are best known for their support to those in crisis, they also encourage people to look after their wellbeing every day in an effort to prevent people reaching crisis point.

Neil Gilbert, Head of Supporter Innovation and Insight at Samaritans commented:

“Further education is a significant transition for people embarking on young adulthood – one many find challenging or lonely as they grapple with the reality of their independence. We jumped at the chance to work with The Positive Planner, along with students from a range of backgrounds, to co-design a resource that will help students prioritise and manage their own wellbeing at a time when it has never felt more needed. This is just one of the way

Have you tried German Pancakes? Served with Grandma’s orange sauce, they’re unforgettable. They are basically the world’s easiest to make giant popovers.

These pancakes are baked in the oven, where they rise tall and they gently fall, instead of being cooked on a griddle like traditional pancakes.

German Pancakes

I remember my grandmother waking early in the morning to start breakfast before anyone else was awake. We’d come downstairs and she’d already be working in the kitchen.

I’d peek through the oven door as the German pancakes rose so beautifully in the oven. German pancakes are a cross between a souffle and an omelet.

What is a Dutch Baby?

These are light airy pancakes with a unique taste. Often called Dutch baby pancakes, these are a real treat and a fun breakfast for a lazy weekend.

Have you made these? German pancakes rise amazingly high and then fall once they are removed from the oven. As a child, it was always exciting to watch the process. I waited years to attempt making them myself.

Once I discovered just how simple they are to make, I had to restrain myself from making them far too often. We love them with powdered sugar, or maple syrup, but my grandmother’s Orange Sauce is our favorite topping of all.

The sides of the pancake will rise high over the rim of the pie plate, as pictured below.

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Sharing tips on how to not kill your houseplant and keep indoor plants alive and thriving!

The Pilot says I used to have a gangrene thumb. I was the person who’d walk through the plant shop and plants would instantly recoil in fear that I would bring them home. The unlucky chosen ones were brought into our house, neglected, and lived a sad, yet quick, death.

With a huge learning curve, over past handful of years, I’ve really turned things around! We now have a full garden with lots of herbs and veggies, multiple thriving indoor houseplants, and the legendary Frida, our 10 ft-ish fiddle leaf fig.

Houseplants can make such a difference in home decor and the overall vibe of the house! They can help purify air and can also add more style and character to your home. Plants naturally grow in the wild but you can recreate a plant’s natural habitat indoors. Today, I’m sharing some tips that can help my horticulturally challenged friends out there kiss their black thumb goodbye and keep your plants alive thriving inside your homes.

How Not to Kill Your Houseplant

Choosing plants wisely

Don’t be afraid to start with an “easier” plant, like a succulent, lavender, aloe, cacti, spider plant, or my fave easy plant, the Heart leaf Philodendron. This post has a list of popular houseplants. Check out the tag to see how much sunlight and water they need and plan accordingly for the type of care that’s required. Succulents and cacti need very little water (too much can give them wet feet and soggy roots), while aloe needs a bit more, and the Heart leaf Philodendron likes to dry out a little and then be completely drenched.

Put plants in the right spot

Sunlight is a critical factor, as some plants need a lot of sun and others don’t need much at all. Before making your purchase, check out the tag of the plant or do a quick google search to see how much light they prefer. Our fiddle leaf fig loves being in a large south-facing window, which receives hours of indirect sun. Other plants in the house do well with indirect sun from various windows. When you bring your plant home, place it into its spot in the same pot you brought home from the nursery. This way it can get used to its new environment befor