It’s the essential fuel that sees them through the day, so help youngsters get the sleep they need with these insightful ideas

Many children will go through periods when they struggle to sleep, wake up regularly, or feel tired throughout the day. Like adults, this may be the result of a number of triggers, from stress and anxiety, to lifestyle habits.

“Sleep is such a fundamental human requirement that, when it eludes us, it can have a negative impact on our day-to-day lives,” says hypnotherapist Angela Brown. “The impact of poor sleep can range from poor concentration to challenging behaviour, inability to learn new tasks, stress, anxiety, and depression.”

Angela also points to the benefits of a good night’s sleep, including feeling better prepared to take on new challenges, as well as more energy to fuel the day. So, how can you support a child who’s having problems with sleeping?

Establish a routine

“Keep to a routine with a set amount of sleep,” Angela suggests. “This helps to get our circadian rhythm back on track, so we feel more alert and able to function effectively.”

The NHS recommends children start to wind down 20 minutes before they usually fall asleep. If they’re in the habit of going to sleep later (e.g. during school holidays), you can try bringing this time forward by five to 10 minutes each week. Plus, for younger kids, you may want to incorporate a bath, or reading, into this routine.

Set the scene

As Angela points out, our bedrooms are often our sanctuaries, and somewhere we look forward to being following a busy day. “If we can control the stimuli in the bedroom, it can have a positive effect on our sleep,” she says. “Things to think about are the weight of the duvet – lighter for summer, heavier for winter. Thick curtains or black-out blinds, so our brains know it is time to sleep. No blue light, so no phones, TVs, or electrical devices in the bedroom.”

Creating a tech-free space can be a challenge in modern times, but taking steps to cut out blue light before bed can have a big impact on the quality of our sleep.

Encourage exercise

There’s truth in the technique of wearing out children during the day to help them sleep better.

“With as little as 30 minutes of activity, such as walking, running, and playing, we increase our ability to concentrate, giving us a chemical reward by generating positive endorphins, which help us to cope with life’s ups and downs,” Angela says.

That said, try to leave two hours between exercise and bedtime.

Control the light

“Our sleep is affected by the amount of sunlight we get. If we’re sitting inside on a computer by a window for 30 minutes, we might get 300 lumens of light on a sunny day. Whereas if we went outside and had a drink in the sunshine we might get as many as 25,000 lumens of light. That means more vitamin D and melatonin, which are both important for sleep.”

Sunlight is turned into melatonin by our bodies. This hormone regulates our circadian rhythm, helping us to fall asleep, and feel balanced throughout the day.

“If we have excess melatonin, it will be converted to serotonin – the

Is envy over a partner’s past clouding a happy future?

According to onlinedoctor.com, in the UK, the average person has seven sexual partners across a lifetime but, whatever your own experience, it’s fair to say that most people will go into a new relationship bringing their own history. So, what happens when the past gets in the way of present happiness?

“Retroactive jealousy is the jealousy of the past, and a series of uncertainties related to the partner’s previous love affairs,” psychologist Barbara Ocello explains. “It manifests in disproportionate jealousy for the partner’s romantic past, often becoming a cause of conflict, hindering the grounds for harmony within the couple.”

As Barbara explains, retroactive jealousy can lead to obsessive, intrusive, and negative thoughts that can encroach on an otherwise happy and healthy relationship, and this risks bringing with it anxiety, anger, and sadness. So, what steps can you take to address these feelings?

1. Become aware of what you experience

Putting a name to a feeling can really help us start to feel more in control of it, and also allows us to connect with other, similar experiences.

“Sometimes, you can become so overwhelmed by the flow of events that you cannot understand what is really happening,” Barbara explains. “Think about what you are experiencing, name the feelings you have, and think about the images that come to mind. It may be helpful to write down what is happening, to ‘let out’ the anger and become aware of it.”

When you’re in the throes of retrospective jealousy, the feelings of distress are very real, but trying to take a step back to name and examine it is a gateway to giving yourself permission to move forward.

2. Stay in the present

“A useful strategy to deal with such jealousy is to rationalise feelings and thoughts,” Barbara says. “One way to do this is to think back to your past rather than your partner’s. Look back over your experiences, both good and bad. Think about the times when you felt loved or have loved. Also, reflect on what you were like in your past relationships. If it doesn’t take anything away from how you feel in your current relationship, why shouldn’t it be the same for your partner?”

When we’re missing info, it can be easy to fill in the gaps with things that aren’t necessarily grounded in facts. If this is something you find yourself doing, take a moment to pause and consider where reality ends and intrusive thoughts take over.

For example, Barbara recommends keeping in mind that if your partner ended the relationship with their ex, there must have been problems, and that they have now chosen to stay with you, to build a life together.

3. Try to avoid controlling behaviours

The point at which retrospective jealousy can become a more serious problem is if you begin to act on unfounded feelings. You might then breach trust in the relationship, or be constantly on the lookout for new information about your partner’s past, which will only spur on your fears.

“Stop investigating the past by looking for info on social networks, or asking family and friends about previous relationships,” Barbara says. “These are self-destructive behaviours. Don’t nag your

Food has the ability to transform our wellbeing – so here’s how to use it

From meditation and mindfulness tools, including classes and apps, to a broader offering of therapies, and a wide variety of courses involving movement such as yoga – there’s a lot on offer when it comes to effectively soothing anxiety. However, one key topic has not had as much publicity, even though it plays a crucial role in our mental health and mood, as well as providing the foundation for our body to function and restore balance.

After creating and delivering numerous presentations on the link between nutrition and mental health, I really felt so passionate about this subject and it has now become a major part of my clinical practice. So, to give you an idea of how powerful food can be when it comes to mental health, I will share my top tips on what to eat to soothe anxiety.

1. Healthy fats

Healthy fats, such as omega 3, are crucial for brain function, and are strongly linked to our mental health. Research shows that an imbalance of omega 3 and omega 6 fats can increase our risk of developing mood disorders. To help restore balance, try to include three portions of oily fish in your diet per week – such as salmon, mackerel, anchovies, sardines, and herring.

While oily fish are the best food source of omega 3 fats available, you can also include shelled hemp seeds, ground or soaked flax/linseed, and soaked chia seeds on a daily basis. These are an excellent source of omega 3, as well as protein, fibre, and other beneficial nutrients. You can sprinkle these over salads, stir them into porridge or overnight oats.

Also, try to limit processed foods made with sunflower or corn oil (crisps, biscuits, chocolates, cakes, and many ready meals), as these are particularly high in omega 6 fats.

2. Tryptophan

The amino acid L-Tryptophan is a crucial precursor of serotonin, our happy hormone. While serotonin also has many other functions in the body, it is best known for its role in stabilising our mood. Without enough tryptophan, the body can’t make adequate amounts of this essential hormone.

To ensure you get plenty of tryptophan in your diet try to get at least 1g of protein per kilogram of body weight each day. Getting adequate protein is one of the best ways to cover your tryptophan needs, and remember to always eat protein with carbohydrates (from vegetables, fruit, or whole grains) as the body can only properly utilise tryptophan when consumed with carbs.This is because carbs are needed in order for tryptophan to cross the blood-brain barrier, and be converted to serotonin.

I often see clients who report chronic low moods and increased anxiety when trying to lose weight on a very low-carb diet. Some foods, which are particularly high in tryptophan, to add into your meal rotation are turkey, oats, nuts, seeds, bananas, and cherries.

3. Magnesium

Otherwise known as ‘nature’s chill pill’ (among nutritionists), magnesium aids relaxation and helps to regulate neurotransmitters. A 2017 review that looked at 18 different studies found that magnesium did reduce anxiety. The studies looked at mild anxiety, anxiety during premenstrual syndrome, postpartum anxiety, and generalised anxiety. Including plenty of magnesium-rich foods is important not just for anxiety, but also helps build stress resilience, and improves sleep quality. To meet your daily needs, I

Starting university comes with fresh challenges, so here’s how to find the help you need

Going to university can be an exciting time. With the chance to focus on a subject you love, make friends, and try new experiences, many find student life enjoyable and fulfilling. But starting university can also be daunting. And if you have a mental health problem, or another health condition, it can be even harder to adjust to student life.

Thankfully, there’s lots of support available to help you make the most of your time at university. Here’s how to access it.

Speak to the disability team

Often, the first port of call is speaking to the disability team at your university. This service is there for students with any additional needs, including mental health conditions, dyslexia, sensory impairments, and physical disabilities. They are used to supporting people, so don’t be nervous about approaching them.

It’s best if you can reach out to them before you start, to make sure they can arrange support from your first day, but don’t worry if you’ve already started – they are available to help you anytime.

Disability teams often have disability advisors who you can meet with to talk through what’s known as ‘reasonable adjustments’. This, for example, could mean they recommend you get extra time on exams, because you have a condition that affects your reading or concentration.

Your university’s website should have the contact details for the disability team, as well as info about what they provide.

Apply for Disabled Students’ Allowance

You may be eligible for Disabled Students’ Allowance (DSA). This is additional funding that helps cover extra costs of being a disabled student – including having a support worker, or help towards the cost of equipment.

What you get depends on your individual circumstances – you have to fill in a form and have an assessment to decide what would be best for you. There’s more information about DSA at gov.uk.

Don’t worry if you feel daunted by the application process, the disability team at your university will be able to help.

Speak to someone

If you’re struggling, it’s OK to reach out. Lecturers and staff are used to helping, whether you’re finding it hard living in halls or are overwhelmed by work. And if you’re worried about deadlines or feel stressed, letting your lecturers know means they can be more understanding. Sometimes, having a chat is enough to make you feel better. They may also be able to suggest practical ideas to help.

Universities usually have their own counselling service for students, offering the chance talk about anything that’s troubling you. Check your university’s website or speak to the student support team to find out what’s available where you are.

You may also find that your university runs wellbeing sessions that are open to all students. These can cover things like dealing with stress or learning mindfulness, and are worth checking out.

Support from your students’ union

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They say opposites attract. But when you’ve got vastly different work-life priorities to your partner, how can you find a happy balance that works for both of you?

Achieving a healthy work-life balance is tricky. Research shows that more than half (52%) of UK employees admit that work regularly eats into their personal life. And, worldwide, the UK ranks 11th for work-life balance, with the average worker putting in 22 days of unpaid overtime each year. That’s pretty staggering, when you sit back and think about it.

But what happens when our work-life balance isn’t just affecting us? And what should you do when you and your partner have very different priorities?

My partner and I are very much in opposite camps regarding what feels like a healthy work-life balance. While I’m happy to jot down a few ideas outside of working hours, I’m pretty strict about switching off. My partner, on the other hand, would have continued taking work calls on our wedding day, if someone hadn’t confiscated his phone.

If you’re worried that your relationship may be affected by your different attitudes to work and life, there are plenty of small changes you can make to help take the pressure off.

1. Talk it out

Sitting down to have an open, honest, and frank conversation should be one of your first steps. This can help to make sure that you’re on the same page. What may feel like completely reasonable behaviour to one of you (“It’s only a couple of emails.” “What’s the harm in one more work call before dinner?”) may be causing unnecessary stress, anxiety, or resentment for the other. No matter how close you are, you both need to remember that your partner is not a mind reader. They may not know something is wrong if you don’t tell them.

2. Negotiate boundaries

Once you’ve established which areas are causing issues, try and work out boundaries. An outright ban on out-of-hours emails may cause a build-up of stress that wasn’t there before, while ignoring boundaries could cause frustration. By creating boundaries together through discussions, you can establish what works for you both. Keep returning to these boundaries regularly to help judge if they are working as intended, or if there could be a better way to try things moving forward.

3. Discuss your shared goals

We each have very different driving motivations. Some people are career-driven, while others find fulfilment outside of their work. It’s OK if your core values are different from your partners; there’s no right or wrong way to be, but gaining a clear awareness of what drives each of you can help you develop a better understanding of one another in the long-term.

4. Let go of resentment

Staying angry or upset about your different work priorities can lead to resentment, further hurt feelings, frustration, and misunderstandings. If you feel negative feelings continuing to linger or build, it could be a sign that you and your partner need to communicate better about your needs, boundaries, and expectations. Holding onto negativity can only hurt you in the long run – but that doesn’t mean it should