Homework can feel like an impossible struggle for kids with ADHD, but it doesn’t have to be that way…

As a child who grew up with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), I know what it’s like to skip homework day after day. I was fortunate to have parents who were very laid back – but, had they been pushy parents, I assure you, I still wouldn’t have got much done.

There’s this feeling, I like to call it the ‘I can’t be bothered’ feeling, which prevails every time I try to concentrate. On the rare occasion when I’d overcome the ‘I can’t be bothered’ feeling (like on the evening before an exam) you can rest assured that it would be back again the following day. On top of this, there are all the other challenges of executive dysfunction such as forgetfulness, working memory, inattention, and time management, which don’t make things any easier.

Many children I work with are so tired when they arrive home from school that they barely have any energy left in the tank. This is common for ADHD-ers, as it usually coincides with when their medication starts to wear off. So, what can you do to make homework easier for kids with ADHD?

How to understand processing modalities

From my experience, there are several strategies that can help. However, it’s important to recognise that each child is different and will be energised depending on their individual strengths and processing modalities, whether it be auditory, kinaesthetic, visual, or tactile. For example, one of my clients does their homework using coloured sharpie pens (visual), some can only complete reading tasks while listening to ‘white noise’ (auditory), while others prefer a ‘POP IT’ toy or Thinking Putty (kinaesthetic).

There’s nothing wrong with applying two items at the same time. One of my students discovered that she focuses better when using a scented diffuser together with an hourglass timer to help with her time management. These are just a few ideas that can make a big difference.

1. Flexibility

As you may well know, ADHD-ers hate being told what to do. That is why it can be so useful to give them a flexible time frame. Give your child ownership by asking when they’d like to complete their homework. Obviously, giving them the entire weekend is too long a window. The homework just won’t get done. However, offering a two-hour timeframe for your child to complete an hour’s worth of work, allows them to approach it in their own way. It also helps the child to psych themselves up for the unwelcome experience. This will make the transition from recreation to homework that little bit easier. If your child struggles to move away from the screen, then other interventions may be necessary.

2. Reward schemes

Many children with ADHD aren’t motivated by the long-term rewards of education. ADHD-ers need something ‘instant’ to look forward to, whether it be screen-time, a tasty treat, a gadget, or a packet of stickers for their collection. An instant reward has the effect of stimulating the brain in the short-term. One child I coach has an arrangement, whereby for each evening of completed homework, they receive 3

Harness the power of your own body to reduce stress and anxiety

When we’re feeling stressed and anxious, it’s usually because of our oversensitive brains. Hard-wired to look out for danger and sound the alarm when it perceives danger (whether it’s a hungry tiger walking your way or an ambiguous email from your boss), our brain triggers chronic stress and anxiety when we stay in a fight or flight state.

Moving out of this state isn’t always easy, but the body has a secret weapon we can take advantage of - the vagus nerve. This cranial nerve is the longest nerve in our body, connecting our brain with many organs (vagus means ‘wanderer’ in Latin, which fits as the nerve wanders around our body).

The vagus nerve does many things, but the one we’re interested in here is the way it triggers a relaxation response in the body and increases something called vagal tone.

“Since the vagus nerve is part of our parasympathetic nervous system, when it gets stimulated it increases what is known as vagal tone; slowing our heart rate and our breathing and calming our nervous system down. In 2010 researchers at the Cleveland clinic found a positive correlation between a high vagal tone and positive emotions and overall good health.” Counsellor Fiona Austin explains in her article, The vagus nerve - our biological antidote to anxiety and stress.

And the best part? We can stimulate our vagus nerve and help ourselves move out of a stressed and anxious state. Here’s how.

1.  Breathe deep

Breathing exercises are often recommended when it comes to stress and anxiety, and here’s another great reason to give it a try. When we breathe deep and slow from our abdomen, we stimulate the vagus nerve. Try breathing out for longer than you breathe in as this helps to activate our parasympathetic nervous system (our relaxation response).

If you want to take things a step further, meditate. Loving kindness meditations especially are thought to stimulate the vagus nerve, help you feel more relaxed and connected. Try this guided meditation by our very own Hannah:

2. Sing it out

The vagus nerve runs up our necks, so when we engage our vocal cords we can give it a gentle nudge. Singing can do this and improve our overall wellbeing, so why not make a playlist of your favourite sing-along songs?

Not a singer? Try humming or gargling water instead.  

3. Massage

Massaging any part of the body is great for rest and relaxation, but it’s thought that massaging the feet in particular can help stimulate the vagus nerve. Try self-massage, ask a partner or treat yourself to a reflexology session and see how you feel.

You can also gently massage your neck, shoulders and behind your ears for more direct contact with the vagus nerve.

4. Cold water immersion

Exposing yourself to the cold may not sound relaxing, but as well as trig

It can be hard to know what to say to someone grieving the loss of a baby, but it's vital that we try. Here, we provide tips for finding the right words

In the UK, one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, and one in 250 babies are stillborn each year. And, yet, it’s an experience that is often hidden away, and is a topic that many people struggle to talk about openly.

“As a society, we are generally very uncomfortable talking about baby loss and miscarriage, likely because it feels so wrong that babies should die,” says Samantha Phillis, a midwife and counsellor.

“We also do not have a word for grieving parents in the English language, yet we have a word for losing a spouse (widow/widower) and losing our parents (orphan). This might reinforce our discomfort about acknowledging the loss of a child.”

With that in mind, it’s vital we don’t hide from this difficult reality, and that we step up to be there for loved ones whose babies have died. Here, Samantha offers tips for finding the right words.

1. Ask how the parents are feeling about the baby

“When a baby dies, many people think that asking about the baby, and how the parents are feeling, will somehow trigger the parents to be more upset,” says Samantha.

Of course, the reality is that the parents will already be thinking about the baby, and Samantha points out that trying to carry on as usual, and not talking about the baby, is the potentially more harmful route. She adds that the parents will also likely feel relieved to know that you are someone that they can come talk about their loss with, without the pressure of maintaining small talk.

2. Use their baby’s name

“Many parents whose baby has died have very few memories with their baby, but the one thing they will have is the name they have chosen for them,” Samantha explains. “Saying their baby’s name reinforces the acknowledgement that their baby was real and remains an important member of their family, and their family’s story.”

You shouldn’t try to look past the loss – it doesn’t make it any smaller or any less painful, and only further isolates the parents with their grief.

3. Provide practical support

When it comes to offering practical support, the key thing is to take the lead. Comments like, ‘Let me know if you need something’ are well-meaning, but offering to help with specifics means that you’re taking the load of asking off the person who needs the help.

“Offer to make meals or co-ordinate a dinner rota (takethemameal.com is a handy website). Offer to take some laundry or do a shop,” Samantha suggests. “If there are other children around, offer to do the school run, or take the children out for the day. Also, be aware of siblings and, depending on their ages, be somebody the baby’s siblings can come to as they can sometimes feel overwhelmed with grief, but not have the language to express it.”

4. Provide a safe space

“Parents will be experiencing many different feelings in the early days after a baby dies,” S

The older we get, the faster the years pass, but what if there was a way to slow things down and savour every moment?

Do you remember how long the summer holidays felt when you were a kid? Weeks stretched out like aeons, and the next school year was but a distant dream. As we grow up, those weeks seem to shrink. Suddenly, we find ourselves in disbelief – not quite sure how another year has passed.

Time is a tricky thing, and our perception of it can stretch and shrink. When we’re young, we haven’t got many years under our belts, so it tracks that years feel longer (for a 10-year-old, one year is 10% of their life). Children are also developing, soaking up new information and growing. They’re having more new experiences, and creating formative memories.

As adults, one year feels like a blink of an eye compared to the number of years we’ve been around. We have far fewer new experiences, and tend not to be learning and growing at such a rapid pace. Days become more formulaic and predictable, making them seamlessly blend together. After all, our brains can only hold onto a certain amount of memories, so unless we do something out of the ordinary, we’re likely to let go of the same-y ones.

Now we understand why time rushes past as we age, what can we do to slow our perception of time?

1. Inject some new experiences

Routine and sameness makes the days whizz by, so try to incorporate spontaneity into your life. Taking trips to explore new places, learning a new skill, and connecting with new people are all brilliant ways to do this, but it can be as simple as finding a different lunchtime walking route, or changing up where you’re working from.

Tap into your inner child and see the world through their lens. Ask ‘Why?’ more often, say yes even when it scares you, and follow the threads of your curiosity – see where you end up.

2. Pay attention and savour more

An easy way to hit the pause button in your daily life is to be more mindful and pay attention. This may be noticing the gorgeous light streaming through the window, taking a minute to relish your morning coffee, or even being fully present during a conversation.

Savouring is about really enjoying and taking in every detail of something. This may look like going for a walk and focusing on the way the sunshine feels on your skin, or taking pictures of the flowers you pass. Try engaging all your senses and notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. When we stop to pay attention, we pull ourselves out of auto-pilot, and plant ourselves in the present.

3. Start single-tasking

When we try to do many things at once, our attention flits around like a butterfly which, understandably, can make it feel as if time’s going by faster. Single-tasking encourages us to focus on one thing at a time which, as well as improving productivity, can help us slow down the perception of time.

So, next time you have a task to do, shut out any distractions and focus on that, and only that.

4. Carve out some white space

The more we stuff our time with to-dos, the more our days feel rushed. We slip into reactive mode, and lack a sense of spaciousness. One way to change this is to intentionally

Travelling by plane can be a uniquely challenging experience, so we’re sharing our tips to avoid any turbulence

The stress, lack of sleep, crowded airports, and culture shock of far-flung soils are all known triggers for those with mental illness. Some years ago, I attempted to board a flight to Ibiza, but had to check out at the last minute due to some mild hallucinations which make up part of my schizo-affective disorder – I thought I could see people from the past at the airport which disturbed me.

According to the World Health Organisation, severe mental illness contributes to one in three health crises in air travel. There’s also been a paper in Psychiatric Times that looks into the subject of travelling with a severe mental illness, which says that 20% of travel incidents have been described as ‘psychotic’.

All this to say: if you worry about air travel, you’re not alone.

The good news is that, with some strong planning and the right tools for relaxation, you can travel safely and happily with a mental illness like mine.

Since the ill-fated flight to Ibiza, I’ve flown to Barcelona and Belfast happily, calmly, and incident-free. With the help of transformational coach Kanika Tandon’s expert advice, we’re exploring some essential tips for flying with a mental illness.

1. Take your medication

It’s crucial that medication is factored into travel to prevent relapse. As luggage can sometimes be lost, you can take your medication in hand luggage to keep it near you at all times, which can give you some peace of mind. For the stay, a pharmacy can sort out a scheduled pack of medication for each day. Plus, don’t forget to order any repeat prescriptions in advance to cover your time away.

Kanika supports these sentiments, adding that it’s important to factor in medication when you prepare for your flight: “Take all your necessary medication in advance and have all you might need.”

2. Stay calm and breathe

“Stay calm and take some deep breaths,” says Kanika. “Using exercises, such as square breathing [breathe in for the count of four, hold for four, breathe out for four, and hold for four] or 7-11 breathing [breathe in for the count of seven and out for the count of 11] to stay calm.”

Some other tested ways to relax before, during, and after your journey are to order a camomile tea, take lavender oils to inhale, and listen to soothing music. I found leather recliners you could pay to relax on at Liverpool airport once. These had built-in massagers, and were helpful in soothing me before my journey.

3. Stay out of your mind

“Trying to engage in senses other than your thoughts can be a distraction to worry and panic,” says Kanika. “Staying out of your mind means that you keep all your five senses engaged. What do you see, feel, hear, taste, and smell during your journey?

Any scents that you associate with relaxation can work well. For instance, peppermint, or lavender for staying calm.”

4. Try therapy

“You may wish to consult a therapist before you travel,”