What is self-destructive behaviour, why do we develop destructive patterns, and what can we do to move past these negative behaviours?

Have you ever found yourself doing something, even though you know it’s not good for you? We all engage in behaviours that aren’t good for us from time to time. Whether unintentional or intentional, self-destructive behaviour can include any kind of behaviour that harms you physically or mentally. But what kinds of self-destructive behaviours are we most likely to take part in, how do you know if what you’re doing is self-destructive, and what can you do to break these unhealthy behaviour patterns?

What is self-destructive behaviour?

Self-destructive behaviours can include a wide range of activities, habits, and actions. Generally speaking, anything that is certain to cause you harm (physically or emotionally) is a form of self-destructive behaviour. Some are easier to spot, while others may be more difficult to identify. Self-destructive behaviours can include:

• Binge eating (a commonly misunderstood eating disorder, where you feel unable to stop eating large quantities of food) or under-eating.
• Compulsive behaviours (e.g. shopping, gaming, or gambling to the point where you spend more than you can afford or have no time for anything else).
• Self-harm (injuring yourself on purpose, as a way to regain a sense of control or cope with difficult emotions when feeling overwhelmed or upset).
• Engaging in risky activities (e.g. impulsive or risky sexual encounters with strangers or sex workers, cheating on your partner, drinking too much alcohol or taking illegal drugs to the point you feel out of control).
• Attempting suicide.

You may also have other, often harder to recognise signs of self-destructive behaviour that you are doing without realising it. This could include:

• Changing things about yourself in an attempt to please others.
• You put everyone else first, without considering what you want (unnecessary martyrdom or self-sacrifice).
• Staying with or clinging to someone who is not interested in you or is not healthy for you to be around.
• Engaging in self-derogatory or self-deprecating behaviours or language (e.g. insisting you aren’t attractive, capable, intelligent, or ‘good’ enough. Refusing to take credit for your own hard work or successes).
• You refuse help.
• Exhibiting aggressive or alienating behaviour to push others away or as a method of protecting yourself.
• You neglect yourself physically or mentally (e.g. frequently not getting enough or poor quality sleep, skipping meals or exercise, not having a self-care routine, not seeking support for ill mental health).
• Chronic procrastination or avoidance.
• Wallowing in self-pity while refusing to make helpful or healthy changes.
• You have a self-defeating mindset (you tell yourself you’re going to fail or you can’t do something before you even try).
• You hold yourself back (you try to appear less capable or intelligent, to lower others' expectations of you and decrease your chances of failure).

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Creamy, rich Truffle Mac and Cheese is a fancy spin on the ultimate comfort food. If you’ve never tasted this awesomeness, you’ve been missing out and I can not recommend it highly enough.

Rusconi’s American Kitchen

Inspired by my years-long love of the truffle mac and cheese at Rusconi’s American Kitchen, this recipe is the result of my nearly begging Chef Michael for the recipe when I knew we were going to be moving away from Arizona.

Luckily, he’s been kind enough to share it and now I can share it with you.

Truffle Mac and Cheese

The Truffle Mac and Cheese has been my #1 favorite menu item at Rusconi’s for about as long as we’ve been eating at the restaurant. I’ve dearly missed it since we moved to Ohio.

As it turns out, with just a handful of traditional macaroni and cheese ingredients, plus a generous splash of truffle oil, you’ll have a whole new pasta at your fingertips.

Just a note about this recipe, this is not a make-ahead dish. I make sure the rest of the meal is ready to go before stirring the sauce together and adding the cooked pasta to it.

You’ll want to serve and enjoy it immediately for the best results. Due to the truffle oil, this recipe will not hold as well as other sauces might. The mac and cheese is fantastic hot off the stove.

The leftovers are still tasty, but they don’t present as well or look as quite as nice. (That said, I always stash any leftovers just for myself in the back of the fridge. They’re delicious reheated as well!)

Truffle Mac and Cheese Ingredients

• small shell pasta or elbows
• kosher salt
• olive oil
• butter
• shallot
• dry white wine
• heavy cream
• shredded San Joaquin gold cheese, or Parmesan
• truffle oil, Read more

Long hours, overtime, weekend side-hustles – is it possible to be too career driven? We share common signs of overworking, and how to create a healthier work-life balance

It’s hard to deny: we live in a culture where hard work is highly valued. People love to be seen to be pushing hard, putting in more and more hours, climbing their way up the career ladder, or making the leap to become their own boss. Having a strong work ethic can, of course, be a positive thing. But when you forget to keep a healthy balance, you can risk all that time and effort going to waste. After all, what’s the point in pushing yourself to the top, if you aren’t able to enjoy it once you get there?

What is a workaholic?

While it’s not a clinical diagnosis, the phrase ‘workaholic’ is commonly used to describe a person who compulsively works excessively hard, long hours. Beyond loving or being committed to your job, those who experience work addiction feel unable to detach themselves from work, and may experience severe guilt or stress at the thought of switching off.

While high-pressure environments, constant deadlines, and high stakes can result in a culture of overworking, anyone can cross the line from being a hard worker into being a workaholic, no matter what their job is.

What’s the impact?

Studies have shown that work addiction is often linked with high levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and trouble sleeping. Over a prolonged period of time, chronic stress can lead to physical health problems, including headaches and high blood pressure.

When considering the impact this can have on your home life, and career, accredited life and career coach Alana Leggett says, “Excess in any area of your life is a bad idea. In holistic coaching, we strive for balance in all areas. Work, particularly, can be a stressful environment, and that’s why it’s important to have downtime,” Alana says. “In fact, excessive stress and lack of rest can lead to increases in cortisol (the stress hormone), which can affect your health, your immune system, and sleep.”

Now we know the impact, what are the signs we should be looking for, to understand if our relationship with work has become unhealthy?

Welcome to the weekend, my friends! Whether it thrills you or bums you out, it’s hard to believe that summer is half over already. Now that we live somewhere with four glorious seasons, I find I start looking forward to the next season right about halfway through the current one. It’s so much fun to always have a fresh new season on the way! 

If you’ve never lived somewhere without four distinct seasons, you likely don’t understand and I’m sure you think I’m nuts. But right now? I’m just so happy to live where we do.

ON THE BLOG this week:  Tender, caramelized meat that clings to the bone and requires just a gentle tug to pull it off makes for the perfect Memphis-Style Spare Ribs. Best of all, you can make these mouthwatering ribs in the oven or on the grill.

Sweet and Spicy Coleslaw is a kicked-up version of our Memphis Coleslaw with a hint of heat from hot sauce and a barely wet dressing.

Chewy, thick, Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies with chocolate chips are a treat that we’ve enjoyed for a lot of years now. Oatmeal cookies are such a versatile classic. The nuttiness of the oatmeal and sweet chocolate hit the spot every time.

Pineapple, strawberries, and grapes are tossed together with a sweet and tangy dressing to make this Honey Lime Fruit Salad. It’s finished with a pinch of salt and a sprinkling of poppy seeds to make a fabulously refreshing salad on a hot summer day.

Chunks of roasted chicken, sweet and tangy barbecue sauce, gooey cheese, and sweet onions combine in BBQ Chicken Enchiladas. Served sliced on a plate or scooped up with tortilla chips, the whole family cheers when these enchiladas are on the table.

What I’m CRAVING: I love a great Caprese salad and I don’t think I’ve ever seen prettier ones than the salad photos here at Preppy Kitchen. You’ll find me eating this quintessential summer salad as long as the fresh tomatoes are at their best.

My FAVORITE THING this week is my new Aiwa Exos-3 speaker. I can’t even tell you how much I love this thing. It’s beyond words, friends. We’ve had the Aiwa Exos-9 subwoofer in our home for over 5 years now and it’s incredible. I wanted to purchase it again for my office, but it wasn’t available anywhere. I took a chance on the significantly smaller Exos-3 and absolutely LOVE it. 

The sound it delivers is very close to the performance of the much bigger subwoofer (!) and it takes up

As one of the stars of The Great British Bake Off 2020, Lottie Bedlow is no stranger to the pressures and the mishaps that can happen when tackling a homebake – but perhaps it’s time we all found a little more culinary freedom. Here, Lottie delves into her own mindful journey with baking, to share why we should all embrace taste over perfection, and allow ourselves to get creative in the kitchen

“Why do you bake?” It’s a question that people have asked me a lot since Bake Off. At the time, I was a bit more preoccupied with asking myself things like: ‘Why have I done this?’; ‘Was this an awful idea?’; and ‘Could I be any more embarrassing?’ And whatever the question, the answer always ended up being something along the lines of ‘I don’t know anything about baking – who do I think I am?’ So why I bake isn’t something I’ve found a proper answer to yet. But I am going to try…

For me, baking started as an escape from a busy and stressful London life. I would pore over recipe books like novels, and flick through glossy food publications with the same passion and zeal as a 90s teenager stumbling across a top-shelf magazine. I wanted to make it all, now. In my tiny, cupboard-sized kitchen.

I have a science degree. I am a logical, practical, anxiety-fuelled overthinker. So, I initially approached baking like I would a risky experiment in the lab. I followed recipes religiously, spent money I didn’t have on bizarre ingredients that I didn’t understand, and convinced myself that the writer of any recipe was a kind of god: ‘They say I need xanthan gum and the world will clearly end if I use a substitute.’

What I turned out was often edible, sometimes tasty. I remember baking my first big birthday cake for a lactose intolerant colleague, and spending longer looking for a decent buttercream recipe than I did making the cake itself. I needed someone else to provide a recipe so that I could follow their lead. Looking back, there was an element of being able to pass the blame if it didn’t work out: ‘I don’t know what went wrong, I followed the recipe to the letter! Rubbish recipe…’ I couldn’t be the one who had got something wrong.

Then, things began to change. I don’t know exactly when the shift happened but, gradually, I found the confidence to bend recipes – just by tweaking flavours to start with. A lemon cheesecake became a lime cheesecake. Chocolate brownies found raspberry pieces. Ganache tasted better with the addition of alcohol. Once made, these creations felt personal. Yes, I had used someone else’s recipe for the method, but I had added my own flavours so it was my bake.

Soon I started to really pull apart the sacred recipes. Through trial and error, I taught myself how to find my own balance between adhering to the science of baking, and experimenting with the art of flavour. The process encouraged me to use a new part of m