This Time to Talk Day, we share the latest data from Mind that reveals the impact the rising cost of living is having on our mental health

Today is Time to Talk Day, a campaign run by charities Mind and Rethink Mental Illness in partnership with the Co-op. It is the nation’s biggest mental health conversation, which has been getting people talking about mental wellbeing since 2014.

This year, Mind is taking a look at the impact that the cost of living crisis is having on our mental health. Data from their latest poll of 5,236 people revealed that more than one in three (36%) adults in the UK aged 16 and over don’t make space in their day to discuss mental health. This reflects 19.6 million over 16s. Additionally, nearly eight in 10 (78%) of those surveyed said that the cost of living is affecting their mental wellbeing. This increases to 94% for those living with an existing mental health problem.

The data also worryingly reveals that almost one in five (18%) of those asked felt that the cost of living decreased how often they spoke about their mental health. Nearly half said the reason for this is that they didn’t want to burden others as many people are struggling right now. This, combined with the lasting effects of the pandemic, is having an impact on the nation’s mental wellness.

The current economic crisis is thought to hinder our ability to continue with the day-to-day ways we usually look after our mental health. For example, of the 18% who said that the cost of living decreased the time they spoke about mental health, one in four said that couldn’t afford social activities that help them stay mentally well. One in four also said they were having to work more hours to balance out the economic uncertainty, meaning they have less free time to socialise.

Most shockingly of all, 16% said they simply cannot afford to contact their support people to have these conversations (whether that’s over the phone, texting, or on social media) highlighting the effects of digital poverty. Mind’s data shows growing concerns that these numbers are set to get worse.

Campaigns like Time to Talk Day are helping by providing advice and resources to spark a conversation around mental health. It’s a vital way to help build supportive communities and open up more conversations about our mental wellbeing.

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Going through a traumatic illness or experience is unimaginably difficult – so making it through the other side is something to celebrate, right? But what people often struggle to vocalise is the confusing mixture of feelings that accompany this, and the burden of guilt that can, unfairly, weigh heavy on you

I remember the first time I heard the words ‘survivor’s guilt’. It caught my attention because it was finally a phrase that I could put to how I had been feeling for the last decade of my life.

For a little context, I’ve had 15 surgeries and, in many ways, shouldn’t have survived. If I had been born a few years earlier, or in a family with less financial privilege to afford the medical care I did, I would not be alive, and I have been acutely aware of that fact since the age of 11.

The problem is, at 11, it is a very adult problem to have when you are still very much a child, and with the limitations of the vocabulary of a child, and the confusion that comes with not being able to articulate how you feel. At 11 years old, I had been in the ICU for three months, and because the ICU was where the most ill children were in the hospital, I witnessed more deaths of children from six months to 15 years old than one should ever experience, and as each death occurred, it often made me wonder why I was still here. Why was I surviving? What was so special about me?

The only way I found to console myself at that age was to tell myself that I would do my best to compensate for those lives by spending my own trying to help as many people as humanly possible… I hoped that it would make up for it, and decided to never vocalise this guilt.

As much as it’s called survivor’s guilt, there are many other emotions encompassed in it, and the other main one was shame. Shame breeds silence, and so this became my deep dark secret, and ultimately led to me working so hard to overcompensate for all the lives lost.

I was often told in hospital ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ and this made the guilt so much worse. It forced me to try to make meaning out of something that has no meaning and doesn’t make sense. When someone tells you that everything happens for a reason, and you can’t find one, you begin to believe the reason is you, and that’s where the blame comes, along with the shame. Survivor’s guilt is nonsensical. Logically and rationally, you can understand you did not do anything to cause their death, but emotionally, it feels unjust and unfair.

What I wish someone had told me back then was that it was not my responsibility. It was not my fault that others had died and I had lived and, most of all, no one should have to earn their right to life. The fact is there is nothing special about me. There isn’t a reason why I survived and others didn’t, and the most peace I have found is understanding that sometimes shitty things happen, and not everything has a reason or a purpose.

I only began processing all of this while writing my first book, Am I Ugly?, and discussing it in depth meant I finally put words to how I’d felt for decades, and those wo

What is trauma dumping, why do some people do it, and what can you do to stop friends (and ourselves) from oversharing difficult thoughts and emotions at inappropriate times? We answer your top trauma dumping questions and share more about how you can set healthy boundaries with friends who overshare

We’ve all experienced friendships where one person overshares. I know I’ve been guilty of it more than once in the past. Knowing where the boundaries lie between sharing your worries with friends and overburdening them with your troubles can be tough. For those experiencing trauma dumping first-hand from a friend, it can feel impossible to know when or even if you should speak out. After all, aren’t we all supposed to be encouraging each other to reach out when we’re worried or overwhelmed?

But friendship is supposed to be a two-way street. And no matter how much we care for our friends and family, we aren’t there to act as their personal therapists. So, what can we do when oversharing becomes overwhelming, and frequent trauma dumps start to take their toll on our mental health and emotional wellbeing?

What is trauma dumping?

The phrase trauma dumping (also called emotional dumping) is used to refer to when someone overshares typically difficult thoughts, emotions, stressful situations or traumatic experiences. This could happen frequently or at irregular intervals (though there is often a consistent pattern), and most often happens at a time that is considered inappropriate. For example, sharing intimate details of a bad breakup with a work colleague or oversharing details of a traumatic medical experience on social media without providing warnings or considering who may be reading and how it may affect them.

Over time, trauma dumping (whether with friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances or even on social media) can start to take its toll and negatively affect everyone involved. For some, this can lead to compassion fatigue, stress, burnout, and may even feel like experiencing second-hand trauma.

What’s the difference between trauma dumping and venting?

While on the surface, venting and trauma dumping can sound a little similar, they have significant differences. When you open up to someone to vent about something that is bothering you, it’s typical to wait for an opportune time. You may wait until they ask how you are, ensure that the conversation is balanced and you’re asking about how they are feeling too.

Venting typically happens in a way that is respectful of the listener’s time, feelings, and personal situation. You wouldn’t necessarily vent to a friend who’s clearly overwhelmed and needing to share themselves, you’d wait for a more appropriate time. Someone who is venting may also be open to receiving feedback, comments, or possible solutions to help with their situation.

Someone who is trauma dumping typically won’t set or listen to boundaries around the other person’s time, feelings, or needs, instead focusing on releasing their own is

We all struggle with body image from time to time. But what if your actual perception of how you (and things around you) look is being affected? We explain more about Alice in Wonderland syndrome, how it affects different people, and where you can find help to stop from falling down this rabbit hole

It can be hard to remember sometimes, but we each perceive the world in our own unique way. While some differences are more common – we’ve all heard of colour blindness – others can occur much less frequently.

Despite the whimsical name, Alice in Wonderland syndrome (AWS), also known as Todd’s syndrome, is a rare neurological disorder. First discovered in the 1950s by British psychiatrist Dr John Todd, and named because its symptoms resemble experiences that happened to Alice in Lewis Carroll’s famous novel, the syndrome can cause temporary changes in your visual perception, body image, and how you experience time. It can lead people to feel like they are physically larger or smaller than they really are, or that the furniture or room around them is shifting to become nearer or further away.

Mostly found in children, there’s still a lot we don’t know about this rare neurological disorder, why it happens, or what we can do to fix it. But, as with most wellbeing-related matters, with awareness comes some relief in itself.

How does AWS affect people?

Alice in Wonderland syndrome can affect your vision, hearing, and touch, as well as your perception of time – making you think it is passing faster or slower. Exactly how it can affect you varies from person to person, as well as episode to episode.

Typically, these episodes can last anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour, and common symptoms you may experience include:

• Migraines
• Size, perceptual, sound, or time distortion
• Loss of coordination or limb control

Some people also experience a feeling of disconnection from their body, thoughts, feelings, and/or environment, which can be unsettling.

While children and young adults are thought to experience it more often, some experts think that adults may actually experience AWS more than is reported. As we often see with mental health concerns, stigma could be playing a role here, causing people to not reach out due to worries about describing what they are seeing, and being afraid it might be mistaken for hallucinations, or dismissed completely.

What causes AWS?

The actual causes of Alice in Wonderland syndrome aren’t currently known. Some experts believe AWS may actually be an aura (an early sensory indication of a migraine), or a rare type of migraine in and of itself. Other researchers believe it could be caused by head trauma, infections, or unusual electrical activity in the brain affecting blood flow to the parts of your brain that process your environment and visual perceptions.

Other possible causes are thought to be stress, epilepsy, stroke, brain tumour, or cough medicine. Those with a family history of AWS or migraines&

They’re patterns of behaviour that can be easy to fall into, but why do we respond in this way, and what can we do to break free from these damaging actions?

When things aren’t going right in our lives, or we’re struggling with the way that we’re feeling, there are many different avenues that we may go down – some conscious, some unconscious, and, occasionally, some that do more harm than good.

You’ve probably heard about ‘self-destructive behaviour’ before, but what does the term actually cover?

“Self-destructive behaviour is behaviour that can have damaging consequences to us, and cause emotional and/or physical harm,” counsellor Danielle Bottone explains. “This type of behaviour often feels as though it provides temporary relief, but ultimately, if it continues, it can have long-term detrimental effects.”

Self-destructive behaviour exists on a scale, and Danielle lists some common examples, including excessive drinking, impulsive behaviour, unsafe sexual practices, substance abuse, gambling, and self-harm.

Why do we engage in self-destructive behaviour?

If this is a question that you have been asking yourself, you’ll likely get the best answers from having a conversation with a counsellor, however, as Danielle explains, there are some common causes, including traumatic experiences, loss and grief, self-destructive behaviours in immediate family, and negative core beliefs.

“Self-destructive behaviour can be a result of experiencing an isolated or repeated distressing event leading to trauma. This level of stress can be detrimental to our emotional functioning, and act as a catalyst for unhealthy habits formed in an attempt to cope,” Danielle continues. “Self-destructive behaviour often feels as though it relieves us from the emotional pain attached to trauma. Chemicals released during this time feel good, but rarely last, hence the behaviours become cyclical and difficult to shift.”

Danielle also explains how these behaviours can stem from core beliefs that we hold about ourselves. She uses the example of experiencing bullying as a child. That bullying might have led us to internalise feelings of rejection, developing a core belief of ‘I am not good enough.’

“If negative core beliefs are left unchallenged, we tend to lean towards choices in our everyday lives that support that belief, in turn perpetuating the cycle and the need to cope,” Danielle says.

“Self-destructive behaviours may feel like they soothe the emotional pain attached to these core beliefs, but often, they assist in masking the pain and avoiding the root cause.

“Lastly, if we were raised in an environment where self-destructive behaviour was commonplace, and healthy conflict resolution was absent, we will inevitably find healthy ways of resolving pain difficult. This does not mean that self-destruction feels good, easy, or pain-free, it is likely quite the opposite. What it does mean, is self-destruction feels familiar. We become experts at knowing how to soothe, avoid, and hide behind destruction. Changing this pattern requires us to challenge that narrative by unpacking the behaviour, and discovering what need it serves.”

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