Talking about divorce can be tricky no matter what your situation. We asked experienced therapists and solicitors to answer your top questions about telling your partner you want a divorce (and how to approach things if you’re worried about your mental or physical wellbeing)

Divorce. It’s still considered a taboo subject despite how common it has become. As of 2021, the average divorce rate in the UK was 42%, with the most common causes cited as couples having drifted apart, a lack of compatibility or intimacy, money issues, infidelity, poor communication, or abuse.

As of April 2022, no faults divorces were introduced in England and Wales, meaning couples can now divorce without needing to assign fault - and can even file digitally. That means an end to the blame game and, for many, a softer way to approach the subject.

But how do you raise the topic of divorce with your partner? And how can you do so safely, if you are seeking a divorce from an emotionally abusive or narcissistic partner? We spoke to three experts to find out more.

I want a divorce. What do I do?

We spoke with Katherine Rayden, Senior Partner at Rayden Solicitors, to find out more about how you should tell your partner that you want a divorce.

“Broaching the topic of divorce with your partner is never easy, especially when the decision is made by a single party in the relationship. Some people ask their solicitors to send the first letter but the ideal way is to broach the topic directly with your partner.

“I recommend choosing your time carefully. Never sit down with your spouse just before important events such as birthdays, family gatherings or important work events. The best time is during a quiet weekend so that you can take the time to answer any questions your partner has and to discuss important next best steps for your children and family. You should also ensure that any children are not around and there are no interruptions.

“Choose your language and words carefully. You will, of course, be feeling the stress and the pressure already after countless times reevaluating whether you’re making the right decision, but, deliberating over the words you choose can put you in a stronger position psychologically. Planning the words and language you will use will help you to deliver a very clear message without any room for miscommunication.

“Using statements in the first person such as “I” when referring to the reason for your decision and your feelings can help the conversation from turning into a ‘blame game’ by using words like “you”. It can help to highlight the reason for your unhappiness in a few prepared words.”

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Southern Macaroni and Cheese [+ Video]

When we think of macaroni and cheese we always think of Grandma Carol’s ultimate comfort food, her cheesy Southern Macaroni and Cheese!

It’s so nice when we get to go back to the Carolinas to visit family; we wish we could go more often. There’s so much history there, and we love to see it all. As much as we love to visit all the places, we can’t wait to get together with family for some good old family food favorites and great chats. When we get together with Grandma Carol and Grandpa Lou, it is a sure bet that one of the dishes will be macaroni and cheese and that not one morsel will be left in the dish at the end of the meal.

We

It might not be the first thing that comes to mind when you’re reeling off therapeutic activities, but fishing is making a splash in the wellness space. Here, we meet the people and organisations that have discovered something very special lurking just below the waterline

No, this isn’t clickbait: fishing really can improve your mental health, according to patients and experts, and last year it was officially employed by Greater Manchester Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust as a way to combat depression and anxiety.

When I first heard about the benefits of fishing to mental health in 2017, I decided to try it for myself. I took my first trip fly fishing just outside Edinburgh on a drizzly November day. I went with community psychiatric nurse Mike Wynne, and his friend and patient, Brian, who had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia – just like me at the time. It was so relaxing being outside, even on a damp November day in Scotland. I became a convert, but no expert angler, and had to eagerly wait for my next invitation to go again.

So, I was exceptionally lucky when a few years later, in 2019, I met Paul, my boyfriend, and he invited me to go carp fishing in Staffordshire, where we both live. This time, we went in the summer, and with the sun shimmering over the misty pool, I had a very pleasant and equally relaxing time. I even caught a carp and some small tench this time. Fishing reminds me of meditation, but more exhilarating – a catch is exciting, and the surroundings of the lake and countryside both idyllic and peaceful.

According to scientist Thomas Warre, in a paper published by Get Hooked On Fishing and supported by the Royal College of Psychiatrists, the benefits of angling can make a unique contribution to a person’s wellbeing, involving therapeutic engagement with nature and green-blue spaces, and having a positive effect on a person’s subjective happiness, satisfaction, relaxation levels, and overall emotional wellbeing.

One early adopter of fishing as a therapy is Growthpoint Project Coordinator, Geoff Yardley, who was utilising the practise as early as 2014 on the NHS in North Staffordshire. He tells me: “Fishing therapy is great as it takes place in the fresh air, usually in a beautiful, inspiring location. It’s super relaxing, and can be both a solitary and a social activity – allowing space to think, and time to socialise. Having a common interest can lead to facinating conversations with fellow fishermen, and raises an interest in patients in nature, and the great outdoors. It’s cheap to start up, and inexpensive to attend a pool or the sea, and also provides opportunities to see new places. You could join a club with others who share the same interests. I love it, and so do my patients who come along!”

Mike, the community psychiatric nurse from my first trip, agrees: “Having fished since I was around 10 years old, I have always found it to somehow transport me to a tranquil place where my senses are solely focused on the water, whether on a river, reservoir, or at sea. I’m sure it’s the attraction and sound of the

Welcome to the weekend, friends! It’s been a nonstop week in the kitchen over here and it’s been fun. I can hardly wait to share all of these new recipes with you. I’m getting excited about the comfort foods, holiday sides, soups, breads, and Christmas treats too!

ON THE BLOG this week: Caramelized almonds are a deliciously nutty and easy salad topping with a hint of sweetness and tons of crunch.

Sweet bites of oranges are tossed with crisp lettuce and parsley and then topped with caramelized almonds to create this refreshing parsley salad. Sound weird? Don’t knock this ‘till you’ve tried it. It’s been one of my personal favorites for years now.

This Cauliflower Gratin with a sprinkling of cheese, a light cream sauce, and a crispy buttery bread crumb topping is so so good, I keep dreaming about making it again. (I’ve made it three times already!)

Chocolate Chip Blondies have the awesome texture of a brownie and are loaded with chocolate chips and pecans. They have become a favorite treat.

Crisp tortillas filled with tender bites of steak and plenty of melting cheese create this easy-as-can-be Steak Quesadilla.

Pumpkin Mousse is creamy, fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth perfection and it is my family’s favorite pumpkin dessert. Every year, when I make it, another die-hard pumpkin-hater falls prey to its awesomeness.

Thinly sliced flank steak in a garlicky ginger sauce makes for a delicious weeknight steak and pepper stir fry. I love how easy stir fry dinners can be and they get bonus points for making a small amount of meat go a long way.

Cheese, bacon, and potatoes add up to side dish perfection. Make extra because these bacon roasted potatoes will go fast!

What I’m CRAVING: This Crispy Sesame Chicken by Savory Experiments caught my eye yesterday and it looks so good! There aren’t many things I like mo

When a pal suddenly leaves your life, it can feel confusing and distressing. Try these next steps...

Ghosting, when someone cuts communication suddenly and without explanation, can be a deeply painful, even heartbreaking, experience. Naturally, an abrupt ending to all communication can be all the more upsetting when it’s done by a friend. Being ghosted can result in unanswered questions, a frustrating lack of closure, or the feeling that something is ‘wrong’ with who we are. It can also create a ‘void’ where the friendship used to be, or even a loss of identity.

As being ghosted by a friend is often distressing, healing can take time. So, let’s take a look at what can be done to support that process.

Use distress tolerance techniques

The hours and days after realising you have been ghosted are likely to be the most difficult. Distress tolerance techniques are healthy ways of coping that help a person get through emotionally painful moments. One example of a distress tolerance technique is self-soothing, using the five senses in a healthy way. Cocoon yourself in a soft blanket while watching a relaxing film, or take a gentle walk in nature. Another example is using ‘safe place imagery’ or ‘guided visualisation’ to temporarily take you into a more comfortable space in your mind.

Use mindfulness to avoid reacting impulsively

Practising a mindful stance towards thoughts and emotions makes it easier to pause, preventing spur-of-the-moment reactions. Notice where emotions are arising in your body. What sensations do they create? Gently pay attention to the depth and speed of your breath. Observe any thoughts that arise and, instead of becoming tangled up in them, imagine them passing through the mind like leaves floating on a stream, or clouds drifting across the sky. Observe all sensations and thoughts without judging or trying to change them.

Validate feelings of loss

Being ghosted by a friend may elicit feelings of immeasurable loss. This may be the loss of an imagined future, no longer being able to talk with them, or having extra time on your hands. Memories may also feel tarnished or even ruined; it may be hard to see or think about anything relating to the friendship. After being ghosted, some people may grieve – know that all emotional responses are valid and deserve to be taken seriously, by yourself and others.

Acknowledge that there are things you can’t control

As relationship counsellor Siobhan Butt explains: “In the absence of any answers, we tell ourselves a negative story, and actually all the answers you need about the relationship are in this person’s behaviour; they have shown you who they are. They are viewing their own comfort as more important than your feelings, otherwise, they would have a difficult conversation with you.”

While some self-reflection is helpful, avoid engaging in self-blame or self-criticism for being ghosted. Siobhan says: “Self-care is really