As the days get shorter and the temperature drops, we explore some simple ways to take care of yourself this winter

For some, a change in season can bring about a certain energy. It may be excitement as we watch nature shift outside our window, or perhaps joy about what’s to come this season. For others, however, a change in season can invite a particular sense of dread.

Autumn and winter specifically can spark a low mood, as the bright light and warmth of summer drains away. In some cases, this switch can be severe, leading to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). If you can relate to a struggle in colder months, we’ve got 10 ideas to help you support your mental health.

1. Light up your life

Daylight can have a big impact on our mood and our circadian rhythms (affecting how we sleep). So, to give your mood a helping hand, try to ensure you expose yourself to daylight daily. Ideally, this would look like getting outside in the middle of the day, even if it’s just to stand for a few minutes looking up at the sky.

If this isn’t possible, head to a window or consider investing in a SAD lamp. You might also find it helpful to get some cosy low-lighting going in the evenings, to help you feel settled and safe in your environment.

2. Stay active

While it’s incredibly tempting to hibernate over winter and spend the majority of your time under a blanket (ideally with snacks), this likely isn’t going to help your mood. Staying active can encourage those wonderful feel-good hormones, endorphins, which boost your mood and can even ease pain.

The trick is to find something you enjoy and something that is accessible to you. This may mean heading out for a walk, doing some gentle stretches in front of the fire or hitting the gym. We’re all different, so find what works for you and what makes you smile.

3. Connect with nature

It’s been well-documented that nature has a positive effect on our mental health, and winter can provide a wonderful opportunity to reconnect. As the seasons change, so does the outside world, so why not head out with a notebook to do some nature journaling? Write about what you see, draw some sketches, and ask yourself what emotions it sparks.

If being outside a lot isn’t accessible to you, try to bring nature in. Look into indoor plants, enjoy some bird watching from your window, and pop on some David Attenborough.

4. Keep cosy and warm

This winter more than others may feel especially difficult, with some of us avoiding putting the heating on to avoid skyrocketing bills. Whether this is you, or you simply struggle in colder weather, it can have a real impact on your mood.

Staying as warm as possible can help. Simple steps like wearing thicker jumpers and socks can make a difference. Hot water bottles, electric blankets and plenty of hot drinks can also help.

5. Embrace hygge

The Danish concept of hygge (pronounced “hoo-gah”) is something more and more of us are trying to adopt. Referring to moments that

While it’s inevitable, discussions around death can be taboo. Here, our expert columnist Bhavna explores the ways grief can enter the rich tapestry of life

Grief is a curious thing. It invites us, sometimes against our will, to visit an internal world that leaves us shaken, staggered, broken, and bereft. It appears in our life unannounced, even at times when we know it is imminent – the end of a relationship, or through a terminal illness. Grief doesn’t always relate to death as a finality, but is a beacon that points at a loss that can feel just as devastating.

We know grief exists, but we rarely prepare ourselves to experience it. Grief is inevitable and natural. It hurts, which is normal. How much it hurts depends on how deeply we were affected by the person who died. It is also impacted by our relationship to ourselves – how well are we prepared to deal with a loss or death?

Grief can present itself in many guises and point to an end. It could be in relationships – perhaps the end of intimacy, or one partner coming out, or one partner having an affair. Or it might be at the end of a job – through a promotion, demotion, or complete end even when through choice, as a resignation. Perhaps it’s the end of an era of our lives – moving from one decade into another, leaving home, ending a friendship, or losing a pet. The loss of health perhaps is a great cause of grief, the loss of independence and autonomy, of relying on others. Grief can also come about through regret about missed opportunities, chances not taken, choices not made.

Of course the final ending is one through death. This is absolute, and leaves us in many states. We go through phases as we navigate a loss, anger, shock, numbness, denial, bargaining with a higher power, and finally acceptance.

There are different kinds of death – natural, expected, unexpected, sudden, suicide, murder, or accident for example – and will significantly impact how we are able to process our reactions and affect the duration of our recovery from grief.

Recovery is informed and affected by the level of support we have from friends, family, and professional or pastoral services. Most people will gradually come back from the depths of grief as they gain some distance through the passage of time. While there isn’t an exact timeframe for recovery, most people are generally able to return to some level of normality within months, some within years. Some, however, will struggle, become stuck in their grief, which then becomes chronic and debilitating. For some, it may be that they are not able to grieve at the time, thus delaying the grief. This may cause an increase in feelings of distancing from others and from day-to-day life and deep depression. For others, grief can be delayed indefinitely, for example in cases of murder or suicide, or where there is no body.

So how can we help someone who is bereaved? The greatest gift is that of time. It is normal for everyone to offer support and be available in the immediate days after a loss. However, while that helps hugely, it is during the time after the funeral when everyone goes back to their ‘normal’ that the bereaved most need support. As the dust a

Writer, creator, campaigner, and mum-of-two Louise Pentland shares the rollercoaster ride that comes with completing a novel, and the healing, happiness, and opportunities for growth, her daughters bring to her life

“Whip it off!” bestselling author and ‘OG’ content creator Louise Pentland exclaims. It’s the hottest day of the year, and although we’re chatting over Zoom, we’re both struggling with the heat. Louise has spotted that I’m self-consciously wearing a cardigan over my sleeveless dress, and she wants me to be more comfortable. It’s the first time I’ve ever been encouraged to shed clothing during an interview, and I have to tell you, I love her for it.

A lot of people know Louise to be exactly as she is in this moment: friendly, funny, and here for the real talk about life’s ups and downs. If you’ve followed her on social media, you’ll also know that Louise is open about her mental health, and has bravely shared the childhood experiences of abuse that led her to become an active ambassador for the NSPCC.

It’s this combination of cheerleading, courage, and charisma that makes Louise such a pleasure to talk to. There’s something incredibly down-to-earth about her, and while she may have four novels under her belt, a highly successful media career, and more than 2.2 million subscribers to her YouTube channel, she’s emphatic that she still has a lot still to learn about life.

As Louise says, 2022 has been a good year for evolving, and she’s relieved that things are looking up after a tough 2021.

“I don’t know if it’s because during the pandemic everything was put on pause, including my own mental growth, but I feel as though I am having a period of coming out of myself a bit,” she says. “Last year was a bit of a bleak, low year, a bit more of a survival year, and now I feel like I’m thriving again. I’m like a sponge and I’m soaking everything up!”

Embracing her post-book publication period is just one way Louise is taking the opportunity to reflect before moving forwards. Her latest novel, the charming Time After Time, hit shelves in August, and Louise is now happily contemplating the central role that writing plays in her life.

“I think it’s being able to pour everything out on the page,” she says. “When I was little I had diaries, then I’d write in notebooks, then my blog was a continuation of that. Now I have my books.”

Keen to show that there are two sides to life as a published author, Louise tempers her enthusiasm by explaining the real process of writing novels, and where her passion truly lies.

“I love coming up with the idea, the characters, and I really like creating child characters because they are so playful,” she says. “I enjoy mapping the story out, but the hardest part is the first draft, when you have to get everything in your head out onto the paper.

“That’s when I come crashing down. I think it’s rubbish, the worst book I’ve ever written, it’s embarrassing, and I’ll have to pull the contract because I can’t send this book out into the world! Then my editor goes through it, gives me a pep talk and

How do you spot the signs of emotional abuse? Is it really as bad as other kinds of abuse? We answer your top questions about emotional abuse and explain where you can find help

Abuse can come in many forms, affecting people of all ages and genders, from different walks of life. It’s estimated around one in 15 children in the UK have experienced emotional abuse, while one in 11 adults is thought to have experienced emotional abuse before the age of 16. Official figures estimate 4.5% of adults under the age of 60 have experienced partner abuse in some form in the past year. Some reports estimate that more than a third of women in the UK have experienced psychological abuse - and nearly a third (28%) don’t trust the legal system to help them.

Emotional abuse is one of the most difficult types of abuse to identify. Often taking place alongside other forms of abuse (physical abuse, sexual abuse, child abuse, domestic violence), emotional abuse can be hard to define and easy to miss if you aren’t the one living through it. Victims of emotional abuse may downplay their experiences, or over time, come to think that it is normal.

Abuse is always wrong. No matter what the relationship is or how long things have been going on, no one should have to accept abuse as part of their lives.

We explain more about emotional abuse, common abusive behaviours and signs to keep an eye out for, and how to find help if you or someone you love is experiencing abuse.

What is emotional abuse?

Also known as psychological abuse, emotional abuse includes a wide range of behaviours and actions. When someone tries to control you by using emotions to blame, embarrass, criticise, shame, guilt or manipulate you in some way, that’s a type of abuse. Over time, this can become a pattern of words and/or behaviours which can affect how you feel about yourself, your self-worth, and your overall sense of wellbeing.

Counselling Directory member Leigh Taylor explains more about emotional abuse and finding help through counselling.

Is emotional abuse domestic violence?

Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, can include lots of different kinds of behaviours and types of abuse including emotional and/or psychological abuse. Often, people experience many types of abusive behaviours as part of domestic violence, including:

• coercive control (when someone uses intimidation, degradation, isolation, or control through using or threatening physical or sexual violence)
• physical abuse (intentionally harming someone physically, such as through slapping, punching, withhol

What can the imperfections found in nature teach us about our own lives?

On the expansive grounds of Blenheim Palace, Oxfordshire, there stands a very unusual tree. The cedar was first planted when Capability Brown re-modelled the landscaped gardens between 1763 and 1774, and it’s still there today, overlooking the lakes and the palace beyond.

The tree attracts a lot of attention because it appears to be a fluke of nature. It’s held up by cables attached to nearby trees, its branches crooked and serpentine, and the 20ft diameter trunk is almost entirely hollow. It’s odd, and imperfect, yet visitors flock to it, season after season, because there’s something beautiful about it.

The Japanese have a phrase for the feeling this evokes: wabi-sabi. A world-view that learns from the imperfect beauty of nature, appreciates the passage of time, and accepts all things in their incomplete and impermanent forms.

Wabi-sabi has its origins in Taoism, between 960–1279, and then was adopted by Zen Buddhism. ‘Wabi’ roughly translates to ‘the elegant beauty of humble simplicity’, and ‘sabi’ means ‘the passing of time and subsequent deterioration’. Explained this way, there’s an undeniably melancholic feeling at the heart of wabi-sabi, just like the hollow tree at Blenheim, but the acceptance and appreciation of transience and imperfection can be empowering, especially in 2022.

“Perfection is an unattainable goal, and its pursuit can lead to feelings of inferiority and shame as we effectively never ‘measure up’,” says life coach Louise Bradshaw. “The stress caused by not achieving perfection, or pushing ourselves to our absolute limits, can lead to burnout, low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.”

We see this kind of thing presented to us constantly, on TV, social media, and in adverts trying to convince us that we can buy our way to a perfect life. But, for many, the pursuit of perfection starts much earlier.

“The roots of perfectionism can be traced back to childhood – beliefs about ourselves and our worth are developed in those formative years,” Louise explains. “If the message that we receive is that we are ‘less than’ in some way, then we may well develop perfectionism as a means to prove our worth. Equally, if we experience unrealistic expectations growing up, or are subjected to excessive praise, we may feel the need to achieve perfection in order to maintain these conditions.”

These days, many of us are trying our best to be conscious about our impact on the Earth – one key part of that being to reuse and recycle things, to repair what has become worn or broken before swapping it for a newer model. When it comes to nature, we can observe how things weather over time, how living things grow, bloom, and wilt, how they respond to sustenance, and how each example is entirely unique. So, if we can be so forgiving and accepting of the world around us, isn’t it about time we did the same for ourselves?

“In order to unlearn perfectionism, we must first understand the feeling or core belief about ourselves that we are trying to avoid,” Louise says. &#x