When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, the emotional impact is monumental. Here, counsellor Nadia Wyatt shares her story, and the things she learned along the way

We were on holiday in Spain, during Easter in 2014, and were returning back to the UK on Wednesday. My daughter had been complaining she was not well toward the end of our holiday, but we thought nothing of it other than maybe the late nights were too many for our five-year-old. On Thursday, we took her to school as normal. I went to work, to my clients, as normal. But by midday, the school called to ask us to pick our daughter up as she looked grey. I thought, grey? We just got back from Spain, she’d be tanned not grey! Anyway, I went to collect her and took her to our GP to check her over as the school had worried me. Our GP asked me to bring her in first thing the next morning. When we did, he organised an ambulance to take us to our local hospital, where they would do some tests.

After the tests, the next morning, Saturday, they called us into a big room. They told us that they believed our daughter had leukaemia – cancer. They organised an ambulance, and took us to Great Ormond Street Hospital.

It was so quick and so shocking that I don’t think any of us had time to digest or process what was happening. Our five-year-old daughter was eventually diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia (ALL), the treatment of which is two and a half years of chemotherapy, steroids, alongside hospital stays and visits.

None of us could grasp what was happening, and we were told that we had to stay in hospital for two to three weeks until they had done all the tests. There was so much information given to us, and we met so many different doctors, consultants, and nurses. We saw so many terrible cases and poorly, desperately poorly, kids and babies. It was too much to process and absorb.

Over time, I could see that I was spiralling out of control. This ‘didn’t happen to people like me’, I thought. ‘I am the counsellor, I am not the client.’ But cancer does not discriminate. It was just desperately awful. To watch your fragile child struggle, be in continuous pain, and look so dreadfully sick, and be given a cocktail of chemotherapy and other drugs, is just horrendous.

The lessons I learned

What did I learn from this whole horrendous episode in my life? It is so important to seek professional help from the very beginning. I was a counsellor with years of experience, so surely, I could help myself? Over time, I realised I could not. But it was too late by this point. I was really in a bad way, mentally. I scheduled an appointment with my GP, who prescribed anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, and sleeping tablets. I was also referred to a psychiatrist. In the end, I was having intensive counselling and EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) therapy to help with processing of the trauma that I was living through.

I learned that my husband is an incredible carer for both our daughter and me. He stood by me when anyone else would have walked away. In the hospital, we were allocated a social worker to help us, as they said most couples separate when faced with situations like ours. I am forever indebted to my husband of 30 years for supporting me when I was struggling with my mental health. It’s not easy for coupl

What is a spiritual awakening, how do you know the signs, and how do you embrace this newfound shift in how you see the world? We answer your top questions about spiritual awakenings (and how you can find support in your journey)

Spirituality can have different meanings to different people. Generally speaking, it involves recognising a feeling, sense, or belief in something greater than yourself. This could mean that you feel there is something more to being human than what you experience physically through your senses, and/or that you feel like we are all a part of some greater whole which is cosmic or divine in nature.

Unlike religion where there is often a specific, organised set of beliefs and practices typically shared by a community or group, spirituality may be more of an individual practice, focusing on a sense of purpose and peace.

What is a spiritual awakening (and what does ‘having a spiritual awakening’ mean)?

For many, a spiritual awakening is a call to a higher consciousness and state of deeper mental awareness. This process typically shifts your worldview, transforming you on a personal level and shifting your mindset.

It can be called by different names (enlightenment, bliss, or discovering nirvana). It can create feelings of both being unnerved or uncertain at first, as well as wonder and excitement. Our modern idea of a spiritual awakening in the western world was first made popular by psychiatrist Carl Jung, who described it as coming back to the original self.

What triggers a spiritual awakening?

A spiritual awakening can be caused by many different things. Big, life-changing events such as the death of a loved one, serious illness, or divorce can trigger a spiritual awakening, as can traumatic or near-death experiences, or an existential crisis. Other common triggers can include mental health crises and midlife (or quarter-life) crises.

For others, there may be a more subtle, gradual shift without a clear catalyst. Practising activities that promote a greater sense of self-awareness are thought to help activate a deeper conscious awareness. These can include:

• mindfulness
• meditation
• caring for and connecting with plants or animals

But how do you know if you are having a spiritual awakening?

What are the signs of a spirit

Get green-fingered with these seven simple steps to create your own sensational succulent bowl at home

Bring the splendour of nature indoors with your own special succulent bowl. Known for their robustness, succulents can be a great choice for novice gardeners or those wanting a plant with minimal upkeep. Plus, in general, increasing the greenery in your home helps to purify the air inside, as well as helping to balance humidity – particularly helpful over the winter when you might be more likely to struggle with colds and sore throats.

So, whether you’re looking for a mindful activity to deliver ongoing wellbeing benefits, or simply a beautiful ‘green’ decoration for your home, here are seven easy steps to create your own succulent bowl...

1. Select your succulents

With a wide variety of shapes and sizes available, mix and match a range that appeals to you. You might want to try a ‘flaming Katy’ for a spot of colour, or a ‘string of pearls’ for an added dimension, with its trailing leaves.

2. Prepare your pot

Choose a container that catches your eye – perhaps a terracotta bowl or a terrarium – and fill it with potting soil (ideally one with sand or perlite to assist with drainage). Since succulents originate in harsh, arid conditions, they will need a desert-dweller mix to really help them thrive.

3. Release the roots

When taking your plants from their individual pots, tease the roots apart if they’re compacting too tightly. This ensures your freshly potted plant can start to spread its roots almost immediately, soaking up any moisture it needs.

4. Start your planting

Dig a hole towards the middle of the bowl to house your tallest succulent, and place it in, securing with the earth.

5. Plan some breathing space

As tempting as it is to pack your plants in, ensure you leave room for each to spread out as it grows. Succulents grow really quickly, so your little creation will look ‘finished’ in no time, but overcrowding can lead to mould or insect infestations, so it’s important to let them breathe.

6. Water immediately

This ensures you get rid of any air pockets around the roots, and gives them a much-needed drink after being repotted. Going forwards, water your succulents when the soil feels dry to the touch – if it’s still damp, give it some more time to dry out.

7. Seek out some sun

Succulents are sun-worshippers, so try to place your bowl somewhere that gets a decent amount of sunlight each day – ideally six to eight hours. Then, simply enjoy watching them grow!

When everything gets dark, sometimes we have to make our own light. Here we speak to positive psychology practitioner Sophie Cliff about the power of positivity journaling

As I write this, the world is feeling a little gloomy. Grey clouds are hanging heavy in the sky and the current news cycle is enough to make anyone dizzy. Having said that, I made time to journal this morning and I’m listening to my favourite ‘autumn vibes’ playlist, so there are flickers of joy happening within.

This is something that can feel so tough at times, but can make the biggest difference to our mood – prioritising positive habits. Journaling is something I’ve been doing for decades. It’s my way of processing and untangling my thoughts, but it can also be a powerful tool in lifting your mood.

According to Positive Psychology Practitioner, Sophie Cliff, research from the field of positive psychology shows that regular journaling can help us cope better with stressful situations, improve our psychological wellbeing and boost our mood and sense of optimism.

Because of this, Highland Spring sparkling water has teamed up with positivity artist Katie Smith, to create the ‘Uplift Your Everyday’ journal. Consulting Sophie when creating the journal, the collaboration has resulted in a beautiful hardback book that aims to encourage positive reflection and gratitude. There’s even a handy water tracker, so you can keep track of your daily intake. 

OK, but what exactly is positivity journaling?

“Positive journaling can be defined as expressive or personal writing that focuses on or explores positive emotions and the good parts of life.” Sophie tells us.

“That could include setting positive intentions, writing gratitude lists or reflecting on the best parts of your day. Research shows that regular positive journaling can boost optimism, increase positive emotions and enhance our physical and mental wellbeing.”

The journal puts this idea into practice, with prompts like, ‘How did you uplift your day?’ and ‘What are you looking forward to?’ There’s also a simple mood tracker, where you can make a note about how you’ve felt that day.

“A big part of being able to proactively care for our wellbeing is noticing how we're feeling and spotting any patterns.” Sophie explains.

“By tracking our mood, we can start to draw associations - for example, are you more likely to feel positive when you've taken the time to exercise? Does a poor night's sleep put you in a bad mood? Knowing these things about yourself equips you with information to make smart changes that

Integrative Therapist Billie Dunlevy discusses low self-esteem and shares how you can start to improve yours, today

‘Self-esteem’ is a phrase we hear and use often but what is the definition of self-esteem, and more importantly perhaps, low self esteem? Billie Dunlevy, a Counselling Directory Member and Integrative Therapist has the answer and shares some realistic ways we can start to improve our own self-esteem.

“Self-esteem is a measure of how we value and perceive ourselves,” Billie explains on Happiful's podcast. “It’s fundamentally about our attitude and how much we like ourselves. It’s different from self-confidence which is based more on an external measure of success, such as our ability to solve problems, land a promotion or give a dazzling presentation. Some people can actually have high self-confidence but low self-esteem.”

Low self-esteem

When we engage with our sense of low self-esteem, Billie continues, it can leave us with a sense of heaviness or hopelessness. “We can tend to have an overall negative view of ourselves, which can make us judge and speak to ourselves harshly. We can sometimes feel unloveable, incompetent and fearful of making mistakes or letting other people down.”

How low self-esteem presents to the outside world, she notes, is very individual.It could manifest in the avoidance of other people and relationships, overworking, being constantly busy and productive and having issues around boundary setting and people pleasing.

Working on yourself

The good news is that it is possible to work on low self-esteem and improve this over time. Billie outlines some of the practices we can start to include in our daily routines to address our low-self esteem straight away.

• Check your self-talk. Don’t allow it to run, try to counter it with another voice that is more compassionate or kind. That also goes for jokingly putting yourself down in a self-deprecating way. It’s really not helpful.
  
• Be more mindful and come off autopilot. Find a quiet place and ask yourself these questions regularly. ‘How am I feeling?’ ‘What do I need?’ ‘What’s going on?’ No