Former England rugby player Kat Merchant shares her experience of ‘fit shaming’ and how she deals with it

As a former England rugby player, I have always been a ‘strong woman’. It was my job to be the strongest and fittest I could be to win, and that meant being physically muscular to be at peak performance every time I stepped onto the pitch.

Elite women in the sporting spotlight face a huge amount of pressure to perform and look a certain way, which also means our bodies often get judged harshly – particularly in my line of sport. Women rugby players have consistently had to deal with labels like ‘manly’ and ‘unfeminine’. Critics have placed more value in the way we look rather than the way we play, without realising the negative effect this has on our mental health and body confidence.

I’ve received a torrent of online abuse over the years, criticising my muscular appearance as a woman. Society still associates muscle and strength with masculinity – a harmful, outdated stereotype that stops young girls and women from getting into sports and having confidence in their own skin.

The first time I received online hate about my appearance was in response to a video of me doing a bicep curl I had uploaded to Instagram. As a personal trainer, it’s important in my line of work to demonstrate the exercise, and to show the right technique for others to follow. That’s the positive side of social media, it makes training skills accessible to a wide audience wanting to better their fitness. But someone decided to respond very negatively, sending a video of them retching at me. At first, seeing that reaction really knocked my confidence. I couldn’t understand why someone felt it necessary to be so hurtful – it even made me consider coming off of social media completely.

I discussed it with my partner, who suggested that I turn it around and show people strength in responding and not letting it affect me. Out of a negative experience, I had been given the opportunity to make female strength more standardised. I could use my platform to actually raise awareness about the abuse strong women get, and hopefully make a difference in a positive way.

It has taken time for me to get to a point where I am less affected mentally, because it is something that can chip away at your confidence and you do get sick of it. But for me, it was almost like doubling down on the hate. Now, if someone comments ‘you look like a man’ on any of my pictures, I respond with another picture where I look really muscular, just to show that not only are they wrong, but there are also consequences for somebody saying something insensitive that can negatively affect someone’s mental health.

Lots of people feel a certain sense of anonymity on social media, where they can

It’s official: Brits are having less sex. Is technology and stress really to blame, or is our lack of self-acceptance at the core of our problems?

It’s not something we really talk about, but let’s be honest: sex is great, isn’t it? It’s good for your heart, acts as a stress buster, and keeps tension at bay – what’s not to love? Yet according to findings published in the British Medical Journal, nearly a third of us haven’t had sex in the past month. That’s… not so great.

We’re at a point in history where it feels like, for the most part, we’ve got more freedom to be open about what (and who) we love than ever before. Yet for some of us, getting over that first hurdle – accepting ourselves, and what we enjoy – feels like the hardest.

Despite kink-based novels and films making mainstream headlines for nearly a decade, many of us can still struggle with our desires. Love it or hate it, Fifty Shades of Grey sparked debate, and brought rarely-discussed sexual desires into the eye of mainstream commentary. Yet beneath the best-sellers and star-studded cast, and past mainstream publications focusing on ‘weird extreme’ fetishes, sits actual individuals facing a whole host of issues and worries.

Recognising you have sexual urges outside of what society considers ‘normal’ is just the first step. Sure, there may be a community, ready and waiting with open arms – but self-acceptance isn’t always that easy. Do you ‘come out’ as kinky, or keep things firmly behind closed doors? How do you balance sharing with oversharing? Do you risk shutting loved ones out of an entire part of your life by keeping your desires secret?

Sounds complicated. We asked members of the fetish community to share their thoughts on how they came to accept their inner desires.

Coming out as kinky

Will, a programmer approaching his mid-30s, shares his experiences with us as an ‘out and proud’ member of the fetish community. First realising his fetishes as a teen, Will spent years going through binge and purge cycles with his desires, before he felt ready to open up and speak out.

“I struggled with my attractions. Many in the community describe binge and purge cycles before they found acceptance. Because an inclination to kink is often considered perverse, I feel it can naturally make people hide this part of themselves.

“I remember throwing everything away, furiously deleting my internet history and bookmarks, only to start buying kinky items and browsing the same forums a few months later. It was only after many years of this that I decided to take the plunge and meet people.

“Speaking with people face-to-face, actually talking about and understanding their nonchalant attitudes to their kinks, allowed me to accept mine, and accept this part of myself. I struggled most with hiding parts of my life from close friends and family. I developed a real fear of what would happen if they found out.

“While I’ve not told them specific details, I’ve explained that I’m openly part of the community, that I’m happy and safe. Although many don’t truly understand what that means, I

This growing trend sees people making the most of their, often limited, urban spaces, and proving that size doesn’t matter when it comes to the quality of your homegrown crops

They say it’s the little things in life that make a big impact, and this certainly seems to be the case with micro-gardening. As we’re faced with the problem of ever-shrinking personal outdoor space, with more people moving to cities, or finding their time to tend to green-fingered pursuits is limited, this hobby offers a sustainable, creative solution.

What is micro gardening?

A rewarding, often cost-effective, and time-efficient endeavour, micro-gardening is an accessible outlet, encouraging anyone and everyone to embrace the wellbeing benefits of gardening and growing your own produce, regardless of your location or outdoor space. It doesn’t require a massive plot of land to commit to – you can create your own micro-garden using a small patch of earth, a balcony, or even a window box – and still reap the benefits of homegrown food.

This isn’t about spending a fortune on Instagram-worthy, perfect floral arrangements; it’s an inventive pursuit, focused on the end product, that asks you to craft pots and planters from anything to hand, whether that be upcycling a bucket, or an old stack of tyres, to maximise urban spaces and allow for efficient growth.

What are the benefits of urban gardening?

Studies have proven, time and time again, that being around greenery and gardening is beneficial to our wellbeing – including providing stress relief, reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression, improving mood, and even combating high blood pressure – and yet the Fields in Trust charity revealed that, in 2022, nearly 2.8 million people in the UK live without access to green spaces.

All too often, city dwellers, people living in apartments, and renters are excluded from enjoying the host of wellness perks that having a space of your own to cultivate can bring – but micro-gardening is here to reclaim those rewards. Even the act of being responsible for something other than yourself, such as a plant, can support those with mental illness, as it can help to establish a routine, reminds you of the importance of caring for yourself too, and provides that sense of achievement and recognition of progress.

Plus, as a budget-friendly activity, micro-gardening can aid you in becoming more self-reliant, as well as helping with the cost of living, providing you with fresh, home-grown produce to hand, that you could even gift to neighbours!

What do you need to get started?

Good quality soil

Healthy, nutrient-rich soil will support the growth of your plantlife, even in a confined space. Rather than regular earth, it’s worth using potting mix, as this tends to have better drainage and is sterilised to help fight off diseases.

Careful potting

For the best chance of success, take your time with the initial planti

With so many products on the market promising to have ‘superfood’ properties, how can we separate the superficial sales claims from the ones actually worth trying? Jenna Farmer tackles the most popular superfoods on the market to reveal which ones actually live up to the hype

How often have you added something to your shopping basket after reading that it was this month’s superfood? Whether it’s getting passionate about kale, or adding spirulina to our morning shake, we’re all guilty of jumping on wellness trends in a bid to look and feel better. But what does the word ‘superfood’ actually mean?

Well, it turns out there’s actually no singular definition of what a superfood is. While we generally use the term to describe a product with some health benefits, ‘superfood’ is not a scientific term, meaning the label doesn’t really tell us by itself what sets the product apart.

“The term superfood isn’t regulated in any way, so anyone can make food or package a fruit or vegetable and call it a superfood,” says Sophie Medlin, consultant dietitian at CityDietitians.

And this is the problem. While it might encourage us to eat more healthily, calling a product a ‘superfood’ doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better than one that isn’t. Clever marketing has us thinking we need to splurge at health food stores for these hallowed foods in order to be healthy, but we can find many of the same benefits in our everyday diet – without the premium price tag. For example, while spirulina and quinoa are high in antioxidants, you don’t need to splash out on them if you don’t want to. In fact, you can find plenty of antioxidants in your average roast as broccoli and cabbage are great sources of them.

So, which superfoods could be worth tucking into, and which ones should you leave on the shelf? Let’s take a look…

FAD: Kale

Remember when kale was everywhere? You could even buy T-shirts declaring your love for it. Yet, since 2014, the leafy green seems to have been declining in popularity with fewer and fewer Google searches – but why? Well, while it doesn’t hurt to add this to your salad, you can just as easily get nutrients from similar vegetables. One study compared kale to other vegetables such as Chinese cabbage and spinach, and found they all contained higher levels of 17 nutrients than kale did.

FAB: Blueberries

All berries are a good source of fibre, but blueberries stand out from the crowd as a superfood worth shouting about.

“Blueberries are pretty ‘super’; they contain polyphenols which are like antioxidants – these are shown to improve brain function,” adds dietitian Sophie Medlin.

Studies have shown that a moderate intake of blueberries can also help reduce your risk of things like type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease, thanks to anthocyanins (which are like antioxidants). And, there are ways to make your purchase last longer.

“Buy frozen, because they’re cheaper and retain more nutrients,” advises Sophie. The perfect addition to whizz i

From an honest and inspiring documentary to lessons in sustainability, and a podcast that will help you find your mindful moment, try something new with our enriching suggestions

1. Page-turners

Waste Not Everyday: 365 ways to reduce, reuse and reconnect by Erin Rhoads

For those of you who want to live more sustainably, and take your first steps towards a zero-waste lifestyle, this beginner’s guide covers all the basics. Author and advocate Erin Rhoads is on a mission to help us pursue healthier lives with her daily tips on how to reduce and reuse.

(Hardie Grant Books, £10.00)

2. Out and about

Go trig bagging

If you’ve ever been on a hike in the countryside, you would have noticed concrete pillars that mark the highest point of the area. What was once used as a device to map Great Britain, now paves the way for an outdoor adventure. Explore the countryside, challenge yourself to find as many as you can, and make sure to capture a photo of each one that you spot.

(Visit trigbagging.co.uk for more information)

3. Act of kindness

Cadbury x Prince’s Trust #GiveADoubt campaign

Cadbury chocolate has collaborated with The Prince’s Trust in a campaign to encourage open conversations around self-doubt. By sharing your doubts, this simple act of kindness can give a young person the hope and confidence to overcome their own and begin believing in themselves again. Everyone has doubts, what are yours?

(Visit giveadoubt.cadbury.co.uk for more information)

4. Lend us your ears

‘The Mindful Minute’ by Meryl Arnett

If you’re a beginner when it comes to meditation, you’re in good hands. Meditation teacher Meryl Arnett knows exactly what she’s talking about when it comes to the practice, and she’s here to help you find stillness in your busy routine with her guided meditation sessions and expert advice.

(Available on all platforms)

5. Plugged-In

Dustin Poynter

Calling all introverts who are in need of a good chuckle! Dustin Poynter sheds light on what it’s like being a male introvert through his entertaining and completely relatable video content. Schedule some alone time (we know you want to), and give it a watch!

(Follow @dustinpoynter on TikTok)