For those times, when even the simple things feel impossible, try this

Good and bad mental health days are something many of us will cycle through at some point in our lives, and, usually, we have strategies in place to keep on going about our daily routines. But, when things get really bad, those usual strategies can feel out of reach, and the thought of doing anything can feel overwhelming.

When that happens, show yourself compassion, and try these four, basic steps for taking care of yourself.

1. Take time off work

In the UK, there is no legal difference between taking a sick day for a mental health problem, and taking a day off for a physical problem – and the process of arranging a mental health day is just the same; you simply need to follow your workplace’s usual sick day policy.

Legally, you don’t have to tell your workplace why you’re off sick, and a doctor’s note will usually not include any sensitive information. However, if you are comfortable speaking to your manager or HR about what you’re going through, it may help them understand how they can better support you on your return to work.

2. Basic hygiene

Letting personal hygiene fall by the wayside is a very common side-effect of mental illnesses like depression, PTSD, and sensory processing disorders. Even among those without a specific condition, habits and routines that might normally be second nature can slip down the priority list.

Of course, feeling better is never as simple as just taking a shower and washing it all away – but taking care of yourself on the outside can make a difference to how you’re feeling on the inside. Think about all the things you would usually do when you’re feeling better (i.e. taking a shower, putting on deodorant, washing your face, brushing your teeth). If that feels overwhelming, or if the thought of having to do all of it puts you off altogether, try to just do one thing, and see how you go from there.

3. Stay hydrated

When we’re dehydrated, our bodies start to shut down – and when you consider how mental health problems are caused by brain activity, and dehydration causes our brain functions to slow down, it’s easy to see how the two are linked.

The best way to get into habits is to remove all barriers to achieving them, so try to make sure that you have a bottle of water near you that you can take sips from throughout the day. Alternatively, suck on ice cubes, have some fruit juice or herbal or green tea, or set regular reminders on your phone to pour yourself a glass of water if you’re prone to forgetting.

4. Get some fresh air

‘Fresh air and exercise’ is a common recommendation for good physical health, and mental health is just the same. Numerous studies have linked spending time in nature to an improvement in wellbeing, and breathing in oxygen-rich air is invariably going to support our brain function.

Of course, on the really bad days, when energy is a finite resource, setting off on a 5K hike probably isn’t realistic. But if you can get outside, give it a go. If not, airing out your home by opening some windo

They say the pen is mightier than the sword, and for good reason. Seeing our innermost thoughts and feelings on the page can be a hugely beneficial thing, allowing us to express ourselves in a safe space, and process our experiences. Here, psychotherapist Bhavna explores the powerful practice of journaling, and how you can harness it, too

While it’s not a recent phenomenon, journaling has become a fast-growing staple of those curious to explore their inner lives. As a psychotherapist, one of the most powerful techniques I offer clients is an invitation to journal. Many people can be apprehensive of writing at first – some may have had traumatic experiences connected with writing, for example people with dyslexia, or those from an older generation who were severely punished for being left-handed.

Apprehension is absolutely understandable, however, the incredible power of using the written word to travel into the inner sanctum of your being is worth it. And, if it doesn’t work for you, you have lost nothing. But, if it does work, you have access to one of the most powerful self-help techniques created, for free! Writing as a form of therapy has transformed the lives of many hundreds of my clients, and myself.

A page is like a wise and non-judgemental companion, a witness to your most scared and private thoughts. Let’s look at why the act of writing (with a real pen or pencil, not a keyboard) can produce what feel like miraculous results.

Our memories are stored in our brain and body as chemical signatures. As you write, an incredible chemical reaction takes place in your brain. Those memories, made up of thoughts and feelings, are transformed in real time into words. Words that express, process, and translate what you are feeling and thinking. Sentences that describe, explore, challenge, accept, wonder, and question what is going on in your head. Words connect us to our soul, enabling us to communicate our joy, sadness, disappointments, triumphs, needs, dreams, and desires. Everything is made up of words!

Now, imagine taking control of this powerful organ, the brain, and beginning to understand how it works in your life. Learning its secrets through the written word, and seeing it come alive on the page before you; that is the magic of journaling.

My clients are offered many different forms of writing as part of our work. Writing for a few minutes daily allows us to connect with ourselves. Write whatever is coming to your mind: are you worried, angry, sad, happy, or excited? Write it down. As you do this, you will begin to see patterns emerge in relation to your thinking style. Are you generally positive, glass half full? You can then take the patterns – for example feeling anxious – and write about that, asking yourself questions such as: Why do I feel anxious? Where does it come from? When did it start? Why is it present in my life? Is it your ‘stuff’? If not, whose is it, and what keeps it there

It’s the small gestures that can make all the difference and, here, we’re sharing five ways to let the one you love know how you feel

1. Lingering eye contact

It lets someone know that you’re listening, helps you express and read emotions, and studies have gone on to show that eye contact has the ability to boost attraction – even between strangers. It’s also thought that making eye contact when talking about difficult things can make us more honest, and invites the other person to be more open with us, as well. So, next time you’re having a deep and meaningful chat, let your eyes linger that little bit longer.

2. Playing with their hair

Thanks to the delicate sensory neurons located at the base of hair follicles, having your hair gently played with can feel heavenly. And there’s really no technique to it – even just grabbing a hairbrush and gently running it through your partner’s hair will do it. Not only is it relaxing, but being delicately touched in a gentle and loving way leads to the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which only deepens our connection.

3. Showing gratitude

We all like to be acknowledged for the things that we do, and so make sure to let your partner know when they’ve done something – big or small – that you’re grateful for. It could be picking you up a small treat from the supermarket at the end of a long day, remembering to check-in about an important event, or just the day-to-day love and support they offer you. Whatever it might be, take some time to reflect on what that means to you, and let them know how much you value them.

4. Hand holding

In 2009, a study published in the journal PNAS looked at at the effect hand-holding might have on our connections. Measuring the brainwaves of couples while they were sitting together, what they found was that, when the couple held hands while one of them had mild pain administered, their wavelengths appeared to sync up, and the participant experiencing the pain reported feeling it less intensely than when they weren’t holding hands. Those findings speak wonders to the comfort and intimacy that comes with this simple gesture.

5. Recognise their achievements

Life is that much easier when you’ve got a cheerleader in your corner, celebrating your wins and helping you to keep up the momentum with their support and encouragement. So be that person for your partner. That might mean hyping up their achievements at work, taking an interest in their hobbies and skills, or recognising how far they have come on personal journeys with mental health and wellbeing. And you don’t have to get the pom-poms out to do this – often, simple words say it best.

In what could be a breakthrough moment for those living with chronic pain, reachers from the University of Oxford have a new understanding of the mechanisms that cause chronic pain

In a study published in BMJ Journals, estimated that chronic pain affects between one-third and a half of the UK population, approximately just under 28 million adults – and that figure is likely to rise in line with the ageing population.

But now, a new study from the University of Oxford has made a discovery that could lead to the development of new treatments for chronic pain.

The researchers started from the understanding that repeated stimulation – for example, a sharp pin prick – can lead to a heightened sensitivity to pain. This is a process called ‘pain wind-up’, and it contributes to clinical pain disorders.

From here, the researchers compared genetic variation in samples from more than 1,000 participants in Colombia, and used these to see whether there were any genetic variants more common in people who experienced greater ‘pain wind-up’. What they found was a significant difference in the variants of one specific gene, NCX3.

The next phase was a series of experiments in mice, which sought to understand how this gene regulates ‘pain wind-up’, and whether it could be a treatment target.

“This is the first time that we have been able to study pain in humans and then to directly demonstrate the mechanism behind it in mice, which provides us with a really broad understanding of the factors involved and how we can begin developing new treatments for it,” says Professor Bennett, professor of neurology and neurobiology of the Nuffield Department of Clinical Neuroscience.

“Chronic pain is a global problem, and can be immensely debilitating. We carried out the study in Colombia because of the mixed ancestry of the population there, including Native Indian, African and European populations, which gave us a broad range of genetic diversity to look at. This makes these findings so exciting because of their potential international applications.

“The findings imply that any drugs which can increase activity of NCX3 would be predicted to reduce pain sensitisation in humans.’

Of course, chronic pain affects more than just our physical health, and a study published in the Symposium on Pain Medicine uncovered a bidirectional relationship between chronic pain and mental health disorders. Chronic pain can trigger anxiety, depression, and stress. Furthermore, many can feel isolated by their pain, either because they are not able to be as active as they once were, or because of the social barriers that prevent others from empathising with their experiences.

While pain medication and holistic care currently go some way to support those with chronic pain, this discovery will bring hope to many looking for more answers.

Need support? Connect with a professional using counselling-directory.org.uk

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When it comes to finding our personal sanctuary, we all deserve a space that can invigorate and inspire, as well as offering peace and protection – whether that be a physical place or a mental state. Here, mental health advocate, author, and broadcaster Fearne Cotton reveals how she found her own happy place, and invites you to explore your own, too…

The first time I stepped into the cold sea was a blue skied April morning with my friend Ella. We had taken the kids to the south coast of the UK for a few days for fresh air and freedom. I had long heard about the gargantuan benefits of cold water therapy, and had dabbled with cold showers on days I could bear it, and not worry too much about my next door neighbours hearing my pathetic yelps, but I was yet to walk into the sea with the intention of feeling better.

Ella is gung ho. There are no excuses or chickening out with her. We put our swimsuits on under our tracksuits, and strode down to the water edge with purpose. My stride illustrated a confidence I certainly didn’t feel at this point. Ella walked in, shoulders up to her ears, hands switching by her side. I had no choice. I tiptoed behind her, my mouth stretched out like a Wallace and Gromit character in complete despair. Every millimetre of my skin was alive. The surface almost pulsating, goose-bumps the size of peas. We kept walking. Once waist high in icy, light green water there are only two options, walk back out screeching or push out and swim. I dutifully followed Ella, and sunk my jittering shoulders beneath the undulating surface, and let my arms glide through the water.

For the first 30 seconds I couldn’t catch my breath at all. I was gulping and gasping, and looking on towards the locals with lust. I so wished I could look as calm as them. By day three of our trip, I was almost there. My face was more relaxed knowing how good I would feel afterwards, my body less rigid and resistant, and I managed to stay in for a full six minutes.

I may not be Wim Hoff, but my love of getting into the sea, no matter what time of year, has only grown since. I even managed to submerge into the arms of Dorset’s Jurassic salty waters this March when the sea is at its coldest. Not only do I feel the total, all-consuming exhilaration afterwards, I also feel immensely calm when I’m swimming. I love the feel of the water around my body, how big the sky looks on the horizon, and how the huge gulps of air wake up my body. In those moments, I am truly alive.

There are certain beaches on the UK’s south coast that make me feel very happy. Sometimes I’ll go in the sea, but sometimes I’ll just sit and look at it. I’ll listen to the pebbles being dragged out to sea and then rolled back to shore again, and watch the ever-changing shape of the water's surface. Being by the sea is undoubtedly my happy place, and I know it’s the same for so many people out there, too. Maybe it’s the mysterious nature of how it moves and flows. Perhaps the historic presence it's always had, far out living any species, giving us perspective? Or it could be that it's simply beautiful in every way – unruly, wild, spontaneous, unpredictable. It has all those qualities I long for, but