Eligible to eat

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A new study has revealed that many children who are not eligible for free school meals are going hungry

Eligible to eat

The University of York and the Bradford Institute for Health Research are calling for the free school meals (FSM) eligibility criteria to be widened, following research that shows that 20% of children who do not meet the requirements for FSM are experiencing food insecurities and poor mental health.

Those that meet FSM criteria are typically considered to be living below the poverty line. The research published in the British Medical Journal has since noted that food insecurities go beyond the school environment and are also present at home, making FSM entitlement even more crucial to children’s wellbeing and development. Those that are eligible for FSM receive a significant proportion of their daily energy and nutrients from school dinners, but 60% of those children still felt insecure about where their next meal would come from, due to not having enough or lacking quality food at home. Of these children, 51% experience daily worry and stress as a result of the stigma attached to FSM, which drastically impacts their mental health and ability to flourish at school.

However, these statistics are not limited to those who are able to receive free school meals. 20% of children surveyed who did not qualify for FSM also experienced insecurities related to food, and 29% of these children were at risk of feeling stressed and worried on a daily basis. This is why researchers from the University of York and Bradford Institute for Health Research want the FSM criteria to be expanded beyond those families below the poverty line to include those from low-income households.

“If this eligibility threshold was raised, then not only would it shake the stigma of Free School Meals being associated with poverty, it would mean fewer children overall would go hungry and fewer children would experience anxiety and stress on a daily basis,” says Dr Tiffany Yang, Principle Research Fellow at the Bradford Insitute for Health Research.

During the pandemic, the number of children who were eligible for FSM rose from 17.3% of state-funded pupils in 2020 to 19.7% in 2021, according to data from the Food Foundation and Childwise. With the current cost of living crisis, this figure is set to rise even further.

Impact on children’s mental health

Despite the FSM scheme having its benefits, its strict income-eligibility checks can actually indicate poverty. Dr Maria Bryant (Reader in Public Health Nutrition at the University of York) states that free school meals should not be a marker of poverty, but instead the scheme should allow more children to access free school meals, to reduce the stress and anxiety of being labelled a “child living in poverty”. This stigma attached to FSM can not only create feelings of worry amongst these pupils but, in serious cases, may also lead to the child being bullied.

This would not only reduce the impact on wellbeing that those from low-income households experience, but it would also reduce the inequalities these children experience in the classroom. A study by the Department for Education found that pupils who were eligible for FSM have lower average ‘attainment 8’ scores (a measure

Weaponised incompetence: what is it and how can we call it out in our relationships?

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Spot the sneaky excuse that can lead to relationship inequality

Weaponised incompetence: what is it and how can we call it out in our relationships?

It’s fair to say that things like household chores and daily responsibilities aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. That said, what needs to be done, has to get done. But, sometimes, people have sneaky ways of avoiding those responsibilities – and it might be flying under the radar, until now.

‘Weaponised incompetence’ is used to describe a scenario where one person leads another to believe they are bad at a task, in order to get out of doing it altogether. The key thing here is that they’re feigning the incompetence, and it’s likely to be related to unappealing or tricky chores – think using the washing machine, navigating a GP’s booking system, or doing a child’s hair before school – so that someone else has to pick it up. This dynamic can happen in many different ways, but it’s particularly prevalent in long-term relationships.

“Weaponised incompetence can be considered a psychological game played by many couples, to varying degrees,” explains Hannah Beckett-Pratt, a transactional analysis counsellor. “A psychological game is where both partners play out a certain sequence of behaviours together, that repeat patterns with which they have become familiar. This happens outside of conscious awareness, so we usually do not notice we have been playing the game until we wind up with the same end result.”

Hannah points out that the partner on the receiving end of the weaponised incompetence can often end up feeling as though they know best, or are more competent, and so do the task – but at the same time feel hard done by and confused. This feeling of frustration is usually what then drives them to complete the task they really want their partner to do, and so the cycle repeats.

“If we are playing the other side – resorting to manipulating our partner into doing something for us because we ‘can’t’ – we are victimising ourselves, and will likely feel guilty, powerless, and inadequate,” Hannah adds. “It can appear that the partner weaponising their incompetence is only affected in beneficial ways, but actually, these behaviours are reinforcing their own helplessness, and also driving a wedge between them and their partner.”

Hannah explains that this behaviour might stem from low self-esteem, difficulty with boundaries and control, or could perhaps be a leftover tool of getting out of boring chores in childhood. Alternatively, she points out that they might be overcommitted in other areas of their lives, but find it hard to communicate that directly.

“Whatever the reasons underling the game of weaponised incompetence, neither partner is acting as an autonomous adult, responsible for their own needs,” Hannah concludes. “Instead, partners engage in a battle for who can control the other one, without directly stating what they really want, or do not want, to do.”

Weaponised incompetence lays the foundations for an unequal relationship. So, what can you do to address this? The answer is rooted in communication, and Hannah has some tips for navigating it.

“When it comes to conflict within a relationship, I love the analogy of being on the ‘same page’ as our partner,” she exp

12 best subreddits to support your mental health and improve wellbeing

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We share 12 of Reddit’s greatest mental health and wellbeing communities to help you make connections, find advice, and discover new ways you can put your mental health and wellbeing first

12 best subreddits to support your mental health and improve wellbeing

We all know the golden rule when it comes to your health and the internet: do not google your symptoms. But if you’re one of the one in six people in the UK who have struggled with your mental health in the past week, finding others we can make a connection with in real life can feel like a struggle.

Online communities can provide a sense of belonging, validation that you are not alone in your struggles, and encouragement to find new ways to access help and make positive changes, often while providing a safe space to vent.

What is Reddit?

Reddit is one of the biggest social media platforms online. Called ‘the front page of the internet,’ over 430 million of us flock to the website and app every month. But what is it about Reddit that keeps so many of us coming back for more?

Divided into individual ‘subreddits’, the platform’s 52 million daily users can easily access communities dedicated to everything from cute photos of puppies and kittens that make you go aww (r/aww) to the latest world news (r/worldnews). Each subreddit has its own individual rules, guidelines for posting, and specific aims. Some seek to spread a little moment of joy (r/mademesmile) while others look to shock and surprise (r/unexpected). No matter what your individual hobby is, niche interest, or issue (big or small) you’re looking to debate about, there is almost certainly a subreddit about that.

Through their individual subreddits, users have carved out a real sense of community, sharing personal experiences, life advice, adventures, personal wins and heartbreaking losses. There are communities devoted to restoring old and damaged photos (r/photorestore) often of lost loved ones for free, and other communities who edit and animate birds to have human arms (r/birdswitharms). Whether you’re looking to laugh, cry, or find a compassionate ear to listen, you’re going to find it somewhere on Reddit.


6 subreddits for mental health

r/MentalHealthUK

Dedicated to providing support, resources, and mental health related news for those in the UK, r/MentalHealthUK isn’t affiliated with any specific charities, organisations, or businesses. Providing a space where individuals can talk about their ill mental health, seek out advice on how to access support, and share their progress (whether that’s feeling more positive after reading self-help books, or getting the referral that they’ve been waiting for).

It is important to note that, unlike many other mental health-related subreddits, the posts in th

5 top tips on how to talk to your employer about ADHD and get the right support

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Here, we share advice and guidance to ensure you get the support you need in the workplace, and can celebrate your unique strengths, as someone with ADHD

5 top tips on how to talk to your employer about ADHD and get the right support

Talking about neurodiversity in the workplace may initially feel a little daunting, however building up a successful channel of communication with your employer provides you with support and understanding to succeed in a challenging work environment. But, while it can be hard to adapt to set structures and schedules, it’s important to remember that ADHD brings numerous strengths and refreshing perspectives into your new role.

Starting the conversation about ADHD and your career can be done comprehensively and effectively by covering each of the following topics. It is important to remember that your employer will also benefit from this, as adapting certain things to work to your strengths will improve your productivity and wellbeing. Keeping someone with ADHD engaged and challenged will usually mean results above and beyond expectations.

1. Give a brief overview and bust some stereotypes

Working in customer service for a decade has highlighted to me the lack of training for direct and line managers with regards to neurodiversity and mental health. Therefore, in some cases, a brief overview of ADHD may be necessary.

Prioritise information on symptoms that will affect your day-to-day tasks. Explain the challenges your workplace presents, and what you can put in place to help you succeed. Many people will not associate ADHD with adults, and therefore may need some context and a brief explanation on how it differs from childhood symptoms. Writing a list of things that you’d like to include prior to this discussion is a great way to guarantee you don’t forget anything important, and can aid in feeling less overwhelmed.

2. Explain how your employer can help

Give a clear overview of the adjustments you need to accommodate you, and an explanation of why. Remember, under the UK Equality Act 2010, you are entitled to reasonable adjustments to your workplace.

For example, for people working in retail or customer service settings, this may be a change of task, including switching to something with less customer interaction for a shift, or even a few hours. Small changes to how you work can increase your productivity, and ensure you’re working to the best of your ability while avoiding over/under-stimulation.

Conjuring unique perspectives comes naturally with ADHD, and you may well suggest something that helps the whole team!

3. Share triggers and consequential reactions

Adult ADHD isn’t talked about enough, and is greeted with many misconceptions.

When talking to your employer give examples of common triggers, such as:

  • Loud or repetitive noises
  • Repetitive tasks over long periods of time

Explain the consequences of ignoring these, such as:

  • Anxiety attacks
  • Irritability
  • Fatigue

Giving on-the-job context like this is the best way to give people the tools to adapt tasks, play to your strengths, and help if you’re having a hard time. Rem

4 beautiful and easy outdoor craft activities you need to try this summer

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Indulge your senses and embrace the outdoors with these four, fun summer flower crafts that everyone can enjoy

4 beautiful and easy outdoor craft activities you need to try this summer

Nature bursts to life in summer, and is abundant with colour, texture, and fragrance – a sensory delight. We can harness this power to awaken all our senses through crafting with flowers, and children will love to join in!

Here, we look at four beautiful, summer flower crafts that celebrate the season, and make the most of fallen flowers.

🌻
Finding flowers to craft with

Flower crafts are a delight, but you must be mindful where you source your flowers.

If you don’t have an abundance of fallen flowers, or an excess of homegrown flowers to pick from, then you can always buy a seasonal bouquet, and when done, repurpose the flowers into a craft instead of throwing them away.

Dandelions flower from May right through to October. Picking the flower will not kill the plant as it stores up energy in the roots, enabling it to regrow. People tend to think of them as weeds, but insects love them, so do only pick where they are in plentiful supply.

Secret Messages

Did you know that you can write secret messages with dandelions? The trick is that dandelion stems contain sap. This is clear while it’s wet, but turns brown when it dries, so you can use it to write secret messages.

You will need:

  • A dandelion
  • A piece of paper

Method:

1. Pick a dandelion flower at the base of the stalk, where it meets the plant. You should be able to see sap at the end of the stem.
2. Hold the stalk like a pencil, and use the sap end to write your message on a piece of paper.
3. If your sap runs out, snap a little bit of the stem off. The new end will have more sap on it.
4. Your paper will look blank at first, but once the sap dries your message will be revealed!

Flower crowns

Flower crowns are a thing of beauty, and as lovely to wear as they are fun to make.

You will need:

  • Flowers with long stems
  • Leafy foliage, such as ivy
  • A pre-made natural willow twig wreath (optional)

Method:

1. Start with two long-stemmed flowers. Give them a dip in fresh water so they will last longer. Make a slit in the stem of one with your thumbnail, and thread the other stem through.
2. Keep threading through foliage or flowers until you have a piece that’s long enough to fit around your head, then knot or twist the ends together to make a circle.
3. Once you have your basic circle, you can weave more flowers, leaves, and treasures of nature into it.
4. For an easier flower crown, use a pre-made natural willow twig wreath, and simply tuck your flowers and foliage into it.

4 beautiful and easy outdoor craft activities you need to try this summer

Hapa Zome

Hapa Zome is a traditional Japanese art of ‘bashing’ flowers and leaves into fabric, so thei

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