Psychotherapist and author of Ten to Zen, Ten Times Happier and now How To Be Your Own Therapist, joins our podcast to discuss working on yourself, managing change and addressing your internal tone

Owen O’Kane believes wholeheartedly in the power of good therapy. As someone who was previously a NHS Clinical Lead for Mental Health, and is now working in private practice as well as writing and speaking publicly about the subject, he’s all too aware of the stress on the system and the need for more support for many more people.

This is why the idea for his most recent book How To Be Your Own Therapist came about. “It’s not a replacement of one to one therapy,” he shares honestly. “But my argument is, if it gets someone started or it helps them to make sense of who they are and on the road to recovery, then I’ve done my job.

“Very often one word, a line or a suggestion can sometimes make an incredible difference in someone’s life”, he explains. “We think it has to be complicated but very often it doesn’t. For example, in my line of work, I see people talking to themselves in a really cruel harsh way, regularly, and the one thing that I reinforce a lot in my book is if you can help someone stop doing that then their life transforms immeasurably.”

Owen on

Internal Tone

“How are you talking to yourself? I'd really encourage anyone listening or reading today to really ask themselves that question. If you wouldn't speak to another human being the way you're speaking to yourself, then that's where you need to get started.

“Give yourself permission to be who you are and feel what you're feeling and then make the decision to say to yourself “I'm going to look after you, it's okay. I've got you”. When you begin to make those adjustments, it's a game changer.”

Change

“In psychology, we often talk about anxiety and depression and trauma but something we probably don't talk about enough is adjustment disorders, which are very often linked to changes in life. And of course, adjustment disorders will present as anxiety, changes in mood or people can develop behaviours that are maybe a bit more obsessional or habitual.

“This can play out in many different ways for people. And I think as human beings, many of us are hardwired for predictability. If you look at a definition of anxiety, it's an intolerance of uncertainty. So basically we, as human beings, tend not to tolerate uncertainty very well.

“Very often we want life to go a particular way and we have a notion about how life should be. However, life often delivers a complete opposit

For those times, when even the simple things feel impossible, try this

Good and bad mental health days are something many of us will cycle through at some point in our lives, and, usually, we have strategies in place to keep on going about our daily routines. But, when things get really bad, those usual strategies can feel out of reach, and the thought of doing anything can feel overwhelming.

When that happens, show yourself compassion, and try these four, basic steps for taking care of yourself.

1. Take time off work

In the UK, there is no legal difference between taking a sick day for a mental health problem, and taking a day off for a physical problem – and the process of arranging a mental health day is just the same; you simply need to follow your workplace’s usual sick day policy.

Legally, you don’t have to tell your workplace why you’re off sick, and a doctor’s note will usually not include any sensitive information. However, if you are comfortable speaking to your manager or HR about what you’re going through, it may help them understand how they can better support you on your return to work.

2. Basic hygiene

Letting personal hygiene fall by the wayside is a very common side-effect of mental illnesses like depression, PTSD, and sensory processing disorders. Even among those without a specific condition, habits and routines that might normally be second nature can slip down the priority list.

Of course, feeling better is never as simple as just taking a shower and washing it all away – but taking care of yourself on the outside can make a difference to how you’re feeling on the inside. Think about all the things you would usually do when you’re feeling better (i.e. taking a shower, putting on deodorant, washing your face, brushing your teeth). If that feels overwhelming, or if the thought of having to do all of it puts you off altogether, try to just do one thing, and see how you go from there.

3. Stay hydrated

When we’re dehydrated, our bodies start to shut down – and when you consider how mental health problems are caused by brain activity, and dehydration causes our brain functions to slow down, it’s easy to see how the two are linked.

The best way to get into habits is to remove all barriers to achieving them, so try to make sure that you have a bottle of water near you that you can take sips from throughout the day. Alternatively, suck on ice cubes, have some fruit juice or herbal or green tea, or set regular reminders on your phone to pour yourself a glass of water if you’re prone to forgetting.

4. Get some fresh air

‘Fresh air and exercise’ is a common recommendation for good physical health, and mental health is just the same. Numerous studies have linked spending time in nature to an improvement in wellbeing, and breathing in oxygen-rich air is invariably going to support our brain function.

Of course, on the really bad days, when energy is a finite resource, setting off on a 5K hike probably isn’t realistic. But if you can get outside, give it a go. If not, airing out your home by opening some windo

They say the pen is mightier than the sword, and for good reason. Seeing our innermost thoughts and feelings on the page can be a hugely beneficial thing, allowing us to express ourselves in a safe space, and process our experiences. Here, psychotherapist Bhavna explores the powerful practice of journaling, and how you can harness it, too

While it’s not a recent phenomenon, journaling has become a fast-growing staple of those curious to explore their inner lives. As a psychotherapist, one of the most powerful techniques I offer clients is an invitation to journal. Many people can be apprehensive of writing at first – some may have had traumatic experiences connected with writing, for example people with dyslexia, or those from an older generation who were severely punished for being left-handed.

Apprehension is absolutely understandable, however, the incredible power of using the written word to travel into the inner sanctum of your being is worth it. And, if it doesn’t work for you, you have lost nothing. But, if it does work, you have access to one of the most powerful self-help techniques created, for free! Writing as a form of therapy has transformed the lives of many hundreds of my clients, and myself.

A page is like a wise and non-judgemental companion, a witness to your most scared and private thoughts. Let’s look at why the act of writing (with a real pen or pencil, not a keyboard) can produce what feel like miraculous results.

Our memories are stored in our brain and body as chemical signatures. As you write, an incredible chemical reaction takes place in your brain. Those memories, made up of thoughts and feelings, are transformed in real time into words. Words that express, process, and translate what you are feeling and thinking. Sentences that describe, explore, challenge, accept, wonder, and question what is going on in your head. Words connect us to our soul, enabling us to communicate our joy, sadness, disappointments, triumphs, needs, dreams, and desires. Everything is made up of words!

Now, imagine taking control of this powerful organ, the brain, and beginning to understand how it works in your life. Learning its secrets through the written word, and seeing it come alive on the page before you; that is the magic of journaling.

My clients are offered many different forms of writing as part of our work. Writing for a few minutes daily allows us to connect with ourselves. Write whatever is coming to your mind: are you worried, angry, sad, happy, or excited? Write it down. As you do this, you will begin to see patterns emerge in relation to your thinking style. Are you generally positive, glass half full? You can then take the patterns – for example feeling anxious – and write about that, asking yourself questions such as: Why do I feel anxious? Where does it come from? When did it start? Why is it present in my life? Is it your ‘stuff’? If not, whose is it, and what keeps it there

In what could be a breakthrough moment for those living with chronic pain, reachers from the University of Oxford have a new understanding of the mechanisms that cause chronic pain

In a study published in BMJ Journals, estimated that chronic pain affects between one-third and a half of the UK population, approximately just under 28 million adults – and that figure is likely to rise in line with the ageing population.

But now, a new study from the University of Oxford has made a discovery that could lead to the development of new treatments for chronic pain.

The researchers started from the understanding that repeated stimulation – for example, a sharp pin prick – can lead to a heightened sensitivity to pain. This is a process called ‘pain wind-up’, and it contributes to clinical pain disorders.

From here, the researchers compared genetic variation in samples from more than 1,000 participants in Colombia, and used these to see whether there were any genetic variants more common in people who experienced greater ‘pain wind-up’. What they found was a significant difference in the variants of one specific gene, NCX3.

The next phase was a series of experiments in mice, which sought to understand how this gene regulates ‘pain wind-up’, and whether it could be a treatment target.

“This is the first time that we have been able to study pain in humans and then to directly demonstrate the mechanism behind it in mice, which provides us with a really broad understanding of the factors involved and how we can begin developing new treatments for it,” says Professor Bennett, professor of neurology and neurobiology of the Nuffield Department of Clinical Neuroscience.

“Chronic pain is a global problem, and can be immensely debilitating. We carried out the study in Colombia because of the mixed ancestry of the population there, including Native Indian, African and European populations, which gave us a broad range of genetic diversity to look at. This makes these findings so exciting because of their potential international applications.

“The findings imply that any drugs which can increase activity of NCX3 would be predicted to reduce pain sensitisation in humans.’

Of course, chronic pain affects more than just our physical health, and a study published in the Symposium on Pain Medicine uncovered a bidirectional relationship between chronic pain and mental health disorders. Chronic pain can trigger anxiety, depression, and stress. Furthermore, many can feel isolated by their pain, either because they are not able to be as active as they once were, or because of the social barriers that prevent others from empathising with their experiences.

While pain medication and holistic care currently go some way to support those with chronic pain, this discovery will bring hope to many looking for more answers.

Need support? Connect with a professional using counselling-directory.org.uk

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If you’re feeling lost, detached from your purpose or low on energy, spiritual coaching may be just what you’re looking for

We live in a time when there is an abundance of supportive professionals available to us. Whether we’re looking to change our relationship with food, heal from past events or update our thinking habits, chances are there’s someone out there who can help us.

But what if you’re not totally sure what you need? Perhaps you’ve just been feeling off lately, like you’re not living to your full potential. You know something needs to change, but you can’t put your finger on what.

This is where spiritual coaching can come in, helping you gain clarity and purpose. The term ‘spirituality’ can make us think of religion, and while some spiritual coaches do work in this space, for many it’s simply about connecting to something outside of ourselves.

What can a spiritual coach help with?

We asked inner peace and abundance coach Joana Calado how spiritual coaches can help and these are the areas she highlighted:  

• feminine/masculine energy balance for optimal alignment and fulfilment
• higher life purpose and soul agreements
• spiritual guidance and intuition
• how to protect your energy from being drained
• manifesting with the laws of the universe

If there are some terms in there you don’t recognise, don’t worry - let’s take a closer look at what they mean and how a spiritual coach can support you.

Energy balance for optimal alignment

Many spiritual coaches will work with energy, with a goal of balancing your energy to help you achieve your goals and fulfil your purpose. There are thought to be femine and masculine energies within all of us; the masculine energy typically deals with ‘doing’, with the logical mind and being goal-focussed. The feminine energy is believed to deal more with ‘being’, with creativity, intuition and empathy.

By bringing these energies into balance we can enjoy the best both have to offer, giving us the space to be creative and empathetic while taking action towards our goals. A spiritual coach can look at this balance and help you bring energies into alignment.

Higher life purpose and soul agreements

Your higher purpose can be described as a purpose that is beyond yourself. This often means it benefits others and encourages them to grow along with you. The idea behind soul agreements (also called soul contracts) is that before we’re born, our souls make an agreement with others about what they want to learn in human form.

Essentially, this is about uncovering what you want from life, what your true calling may be and what you want to learn during your time on earth. A spiritual coach can help you navigate this, offering reflections and exercises to bring you closer to your answers.  

Spiritual guidance and intuition

Spiritua