Taking care of yourself and finding a moment for mindfulness isn’t always easy, even for those who’ve practised it for years. Here, columnist Grace Victory shares her own struggles to refill her cup, and offers four simple ways to bring mindfulness into your everyday life – even when it’s tough

It’s actually ironic that I’m sitting here writing this piece when my own everyday mindfulness practices are the worst they’ve been in years.

I just can’t seem to find my flow or motivation. Life is full-on right now, with big personal things (and some professional), so I know I need to find pockets of peace to benefit my overall health, but it just feels too hard.

I barely get a chance to pee by myself at the moment, and any ‘alone time’ I’m lucky enough to find, I sleep, put on some washing, or cry due to feeling stressed. It’s a vicious cycle I’ve been in for a while, and I guess potentially the result of prioritising the wrong things and giving too much of myself to everyone – except myself.

I know this, yet I’m still here?!

I know the washing can wait, the vacuuming doesn’t have to be done right now, and I can cancel dinner for the second time with my friend because my toddler is teething, but the shame and lack of control over my life takes over.

Maybe a part of me still wants to have it all. Maybe a part of me is still grieving pieces of my life before I became a parent. Maybe a part of me wants to be a little bit more selfish, but recognises just how much her tiny human needs her.

I’m mindful of my thought patterns right now. They are darker than usual, and, if I’m honest, I spend a lot of my days trying not to spiral into a black hole that I don’t have the energy to crawl back out of. Previously, I relied heavily on rituals and spiritual practices that kept me grounded and afloat at the same time, but lately… I can’t seem to grasp them (mainly due to a lack of time, and mental and physical capacity).

The healing treatments, holistic methods, and wholesome things I used to do just don’t feel like ‘me’ any more. There’s a disconnect from the way I used to practise mindfulness and, all in all, I am struggling – and I’m saying this in the hope that someone else reading this month’s column will be able to relate, and maybe feel less alone? Because writing this, I too, feel extremely alone.

Not to be a total Debbie Downer though, I have mustered up the strength to put together four small-but-mighty ways we (together) can practise mindfulness in our everyday lives. Whether you’re a tired single parent, a stressed out university student, or a person who has yet to find their way with mindfulness, I hope this list helps in some way, and can be applied to your own lives.

1. Take 10 big, deep breaths when youȁ

Social media can seem like a drab place at times, but there are spots of positivity to be found

Most of us are familiar with the difficult side of social media. Whether that be all-hour access to bad news, furious arguments in comment sections, comparison traps, body shaming, or even cyberbullying, these once exciting technological platforms have started to lose their shine a bit.

Though, of course, there is another side. New research from Sky Mobile has found that one in three Brits actively seek out positive content on social media, with each of us spending on average two hours a day searching for uplifting content.

The study found the most popular sources of positivity included animal videos and memes, and posts describing random acts of kindness. Following closely behind was light-hearted ‘when things go wrong’ videos, travel or holiday photos, childhood TV clips, and British pop culture.

“What we consume online impacts how we feel. Even small positive mood boosts can make a difference,” says positive psychology expert Vanessa Kind. “And these don’t just feel good, science shows these can add up – for example helping us be more open to others, more flexible in our thinking, better at creative problem solving.”

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45% of respondents agree that when they view positive and inspiring posts online, their mood was boosted for the day – and the research found that Brits love to spread that positivity, with 19% going on to share the posts with friends or family.

“Connecting constructively with people we care about and doing kind things for others are important for everyone’s happiness and wellbeing,” Vanessa continues. “Showing we are thinking of others and sharing positive content online that we think loved ones will enjoy or find uplifting contributes to this.”

While the findings suggest that many of us are actively seeking out positivity, there are many things that you can do to try to create a happier social media feed, to begin with. You can schedule regular tidy-ups of your following list, removing any accounts that might be making you unhappy for any reason. You can also make use of the ‘mute’ button for those cases where you might feel uncomfortable unfollowing someone – for example, if it is someone you know in real life. It is also worth taking some time out to follow pages and accounts devoted to the things that bring you joy in life, like hobby pages, jokes and humour, or fun facts.

“It’s important we’re aware of how social media impacts our mood and manage what we access,” Vaness continues. “We of course need to keep in touch with what’s happening in the world around us, and it’s encouraging t

Host of The Repair Shop, Jay Blades, joins Happiful to talk about the amazing ability to mend anything, even ourselves, with the help of community, human connection, and conversation

Jay Blades is visibly buzzing with energy when he pops up on the screen from his agent’s central London office. The past month has been hectic for him, he says, but in the best way possible. He’s received an MBE for his services to craft, The Repair Shop has returned for its 10th series, and No Place Like Home, a fantastic new documentary series about his childhood home, Hackney, has recently aired.

Making It: How Love, Kindness and Community Helped Me Repair My Life, Jay’s autobiographical book, has also recently been published in paperback. It’s a warm, honest, and open account of everything that’s brought him to the point he’s at today. It charts his struggle with mental ill-health, the people and places that brought him back to a place of wellness, his relationships, and deep love of mending and making good of objects and situations that others might write off.

“I don’t like to give up on people or things,” Jay says emphatically on this subject. “I believe that everything can be repaired, and it might take a little while – I know on The Repair Shop we normally do it in 15 minutes, but in the real world it could take anything between a day and six months to repair an item. If you’re ‘repairing’ somebody, it could take their whole life.”

Jay knows this concept personally, and draws on his own experience, including actively contemplating suicide seven years ago.

“I needed repairing at 45, and I’m still repairing myself,” he says, with raw honesty. “I’m still looking around to make sure that I manage my mental health, and stay strong physically, too. I do that with the support of other people, who make sure that I eat right, I sleep enough, and so on. I listen to those people, because I’m vulnerable and I’m not as strong as I believed I used to be.”

Jay’s clear that maintaining wellbeing isn’t a lone project for anybody. “The reality is that we need people to help us repair us, because if you fall down again, who are you going to speak to? You can’t speak to yourself if you’re in a dark place. You need that community.”

The concept and impact of community fascinates Jay, and he’s explored this further in his recent documentary. Over three hour-long episodes, he learns about the history of the streets he walked as a boy, meets old friends and local heroes, and wonders at the incredible events and unbelievable injustices that took place mere minutes and miles from where he played as
a child.

Hackney, he says, has left an indelible mark on his heart, and helped him to form the unshakeable ethos he has when it comes to community support and giving back. He explains that he’s benefitted from the support of so many people at different stages in his life that it’s on

A new study reveals the power of feeling seen and heard for LGBTQ+ people

Mainstream literature has a history of underrepresenting LGBTQ+ characters, choosing not to include them and centring heteronormative characters instead. Despite this, there is a history of LGBTQ+ literature that dates back to Ancient Rome and Greece, it’s just rarely taught. For example, did you know that same-sex partnerships have been found in Homer’s Iliad, Plato’s Symposium and Shakespeare's Twelfth Night and The Merchant of Venice?

A new study from biography writing service StoryTerrace has found that 65% of those in the LGBTQ+ community say reading stories they can relate to has a positive impact on their mental health. 49% also said they felt lonely and isolated because they rarely heard about people who were going through the same things they were.

Interestingly, it wasn’t just reading relatable stories that made a difference, the study also found that writing had a positive impact, with 48% in the community saying writing creatively about their experiences allowed them to understand themselves better. 34% also noted that journaling has been the most beneficial aid to their mental health to date.

Being seen in mainstream media is key, but so is being heard through writing. Gay author Roger Moreau wrote his life story with StoryTerrace and says it means a lot to him to be able to share his story, “Having written a manuscript of my life growing up in such a personal way and not being able to find the words to put it together, to now having it written in a way that makes me feel understood is amazing.”

In response to the representation of LGBTQ+ people in literature, Moreau says we’ve come a long way.

“When I was a teenager, seeing a gay character on television was rare. If you did see a gay character, it was mostly portrayed as something negative. It was either the person who was sick and dying from an illness or was a victim of gay-bashing. Today, there is so much acceptance and support - I absolutely love reading LGBTQIA+ memoirs and stories of someone overcoming adversity. It shows that there is hope, and to keep on going, no matter what you are going through in life.”

LGBTQ+ memoirs and stories to explore

Fairest by Meredith Talusan

This memoir explores Meredith’s life, from being a child sitcom star in the Philippines to an award-winning writer. Discussing themes of love, being an outcast and gender, this is a poignant memoir to add to your list.

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib

From growing up in fear of her safety in Pakistan to facing new challenges as a refugee in Canada, Samra writes about experiences of racism, faith, art and sexuality.

To be a Gay Man by Will Young

Best known for winning Pop Idol, Will takes us back to his early years to discuss internalised shame, low self-esteem and what helped in this memoir.

In Their Shoes by Jamie Windust

Calling for non-binary self-acceptance and self-celebration, Jamie’s book discusses fashion, dating, mental health and the challenges face

Getting to grips with how brands are twisting eco values for big business

We’ve all seen it: products claiming to be ‘sustainably-sourced’, ‘carbon neutral’, or ‘environmentally-friendly’. But when might a seemingly positive policy actually be a bad thing? This is where greenwashing comes in, and it’s something we need to flush out.

According to the World Wildlife Fund, searches for ‘sustainable’ goods have increased 71% since 2016, and as awareness of our individual impact on the planet grows, the public is placing more emphasis on corporations to do their bit, too. While this mounting pressure may have prompted some legitimately positive steps in businesses, for others, the scrutiny has led to a rise in ‘greenwashing’, AKA the easy way out.

Rather than choosing to transform their whole business in order to reduce pollution, these companies put their money behind marketing campaigns intended to portray themselves and their products as being more environmentally friendly than they actually are.

While the phrase was established in the 1980s by environmentalist Jay Westerveld, it’s gained traction in recent years as more and more people are seeing it play out, with companies using the idea of being eco-conscious as a marketing ploy to gain customers and their trust, while, in reality, their efforts to be more sustainable might be sincerely lacking. In effect, it’s style over substance; paying lip-service to how important environmental values are, without actually doing the legwork to back it up and take action.

What does greenwashing look like in the real world?

You’ll undoubtedly have seen it, even if it flew under your radar – perhaps with fast fashion brands whose alleged sustainability promises couldn’t hold water, or airlines with misleading ‘low emission’ claims.

But some of the most notorious examples can be seen in a L’Oreal campaign from 2019 that caused controversy for claiming its range to be ‘vegan’, while continuing to carry out animal testing in markets such as China. Or the famous rebranding of BP in 2000 to ‘Beyond Petroleum’, changing its logo to a green and yellow sunflower, and pledging to invest in renewable energy. Yet, by 2018, clean energy was receiving a mere 3% of the company’s investments.

What are the consequences?

Put simply, greenwashing stops real action from happening. It creates this misleading perception that businesses are tackling climate change, when they aren’t. If it ‘appears’ as though progress is there, the pressure to reduce pollution, or address production, sources etc. eases off, and nothing really changes. We’re at a critical time with tackling climate change, and this false front of environmental action can either delay or halt companies truly being held accountable for their impact on the planet.

How to spot greenwashing

Misleading claims or a lack of evidence

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