Grace Victory's 7 supportive tips to help handle family finances

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With the cost of living weighing heavily on our minds, columnist Grace Victory explores the pressures on parents, and her personal tips for budgeting when you have a growing brood

Grace Victory's 7 supportive tips to help handle family finances

I think it’s fair to say that most of us are feeling financially insecure at the moment. Whether you are literally just getting through each month, a student nurse trying to make ends meet, or a mother trying to go back to work but nursery fees are stopping you, the rising cost of living is affecting us all.

I grew up poor. I grew up knowing about payday loans and child benefits, and I understood from a very early age that if I wanted something from life I needed to go out into the world and grab it, because nothing was going to be handed to me.

We lived in a flat on a council estate, then a council house, and at 18, after finishing college, I chose to get a job instead of furthering my education. I knew I needed money, and that I would need to contribute to my family home in some way, so I said no to university or a professional musical theatre school (which was very much a dream of mine). And while I don’t regret my decision at all, I do often wonder if I would’ve made that choice if me and my family had financial freedom.

I don’t ever remember going without, but I do remember my mum budgeting, saving from January to afford the next Christmas, and her never ever buying anything for herself. I believe my mum sacrificed a lot in order for me and my sister to be clothed and fed, and I will forever be grateful for that. I know all types of family dynamics struggle, but single mothers do not have it easy in any capacity, so I respect those going at it alone.

I started making money from social media in 2015 and, since then, every year that goes by I make more and more in profit. It’s no secret that influencers, content creators, and YouTubers, get paid a substantial amount from ads, paid partnerships, or affiliate links – I am no different. But I often struggle with knowing where I am in my identity, because I grew up with very little, and now I have so much.

And it’s not just about having the money to buy things, it’s about the opportunities, convenience, and mental relief that comes when your bank account is abundant. It’s the lack of worry or anxiety that I’m grateful for, because at the start of my career I struggled to pay my rent, and the stress levels I felt were enough to make me vomit. I’d see people online flying business class to Bali while I was sinking further into debt.

I’m very proud to say that I have £0 in debt now, which is bloody amazing, and I’ve made a life for myself and my children that looks different to the life I had as a kid. But I’m also becoming increasingly aware of our ever-changing world and the fact that money just doesn’t seem to go as far as it used to – or as far as it bloody should.

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The Little Things Newsletter #337 – Life, laughter, and lots of great food!

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Welcome to the weekend, friends! I turned on the radio in the car this week and nearly jaw dropped when a Christmas song started playing. I love that we have a local station that plays non-stop Christmas music through the season, but wow. This year it really caught me off guard! How are there only 50 days until Christmas???

ON THE BLOG this week: You know those foods that you taste once and then you simply can’t get it out of your mind? This Sausage Gravy is one of those foods. The hints of fragrant rosemary add something unforgettable, many people have told me this immediately became their all-time favorite gravy.

One pan, easy meals are the key to dinnertime at our house, and these roasted brats with potatoes and green beans fit that bill nicely.

An irresistible sweet and tangy glaze takes this slow cooker pork roast from just another crockpot meal to a tasty and fantastic meal.

Garlic parmesan roasted potatoes are crispy, salty, garlicky potato perfection that we enjoy quite often for dinner.

Toasted pearl couscous with pistachios and pine nuts, chewy raisins, a hint of cinnamon, and a squeeze of lemon combine in this incredibly flavorful Israeli Couscous dish. (Have you tried pearl couscous? It’s this pasta lover’s dream come true!)

Spinach and chicken are combined in a creamy green chile sauce for these easy-to-make craveable enchiladas. I love adding a couple of handfuls of baby spinach to this recipe, it adds a freshness that can’t be beaten. However, if you aren’t a fan of spinach, these enchiladas are also delicious without it.

Creamy White Chocolate Fudge filled with pecans and swirled with caramel might be the ultimate treat for a holiday tray. This is a quick and easy 5 Minute Fudge Recipe that is perfect for any occasion.

Have you tried a mayonnaise cake? This Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake is a very old-fashioned recipe that was likely in your grandmother’s recipe box. My best friend’s mom often made this cake when we were growing up.

What I’m CRAVING: This Pumpkin Pull Apart Bread with a cinnamon spiced glaze looks like fall snacking at its best. This bread plus a cup of coffee sounds like the perfect Saturday morning right now.

What

6 unusual ways to unleash your creative nature

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Whether creativity is part of your job or a hobby, we can all get stuck sometimes. When the well of inspiration runs dry, it’s time to take a creative approach to creativity…

1. Seek out the colour blue

6 unusual ways to unleash your creative nature

According to colour psychology, blue can stimulate creative thinking, encouraging us to try new things, while also having a calming effect. Surround yourself with the colour next time you need a creative boost – head outside and take in the blue sky, visit the seaside to marvel at the ocean, or simply add more blue decor to your environment. You could even try wearing more blue and see how you feel.

2. Read/watch/listen outside of your genre

Do you tend to stick to the same genres when reading books, watching TV, or listening to music and podcasts? Feed your curiosity by exploring genres you would never normally try. Love a romance novel? Why not see what fantasy has to offer? Huge rock music fan? Try dipping your toe into the world of RnB. Want to listen to a podcast unlike anything else? Try ‘Everything is Alive’.

3. Tap into your inner child

Kids are naturally creative, so who better to draw inspiration from? Dust off your bike and go for a ride, find an adult-sized ball pit, get your colouring books out, or build a Lego masterpiece. These all help to stem overthinking, encouraging you to experience the world in a more child-like and curious way.

4. Spend more time with creative people

Who we spend time with can make an impact on our worldview. So, if you want to be more creative, try spending more time with fellow creatives. This could be in-person at events or meet-ups, or online.

5. Take silent breaks

The world can be a noisy place at times, and this can colour our thinking. Try to incorporate some silent breaks in your day where there’s no music, podcasts, TV. Allow yourself to sit in silence and give your own thoughts space.

6. Keep a dream journal

Our dreams are about as weird and wacky as they come, and could be a source of inspiration. Keep a notepad and pen by your bed, and grab it when you wake up to write about your dream. The key here is to be quick; trying to remember a dream is like trying to catch water in a net… tricky! Later you can look back and revel in the absurd.


Discover the wellbeing benefits of adult play

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Apparently, being playful and childish is the key to a long and happy life. We’ll take it!

Discover the wellbeing benefits of adult play

Do you find yourself fighting ‘silly’, childish urges? Doodling a smiley face on the car window, or racing your (36-year-old) best bud to the top of the hill, cos’ the loser is a rotten egg? Well, don’t fight it! According to experts, engaging in adult play is more than just a giggle – it can cause changes in the brain which help improve our mental, emotional, and even physical health.

So, before you feel guilty about rearranging the fridge magnets to spell ‘bum’, or blowing a raspberry at your little niece or nephew, let’s take a look at the science behind play, and how it can transform how we feel and live.

Why do we lose our playfulness?

It’s no surprise that kids are one-upping us in the happiness department – as they jump around the garden with one finger up their nose and the other hand clutching a stolen tablespoon. So where does it all go wrong?

According to world-renowned therapist and author Marisa Peer, we never truly forget how to play, but society teaches us that it’s inappropriate after a certain age. Though the urges are there, we are accustomed to suppressing it, and acting in a safer, more ‘appropriate’ manner.

“Humans have a compelling need to find connections and avoid rejection, so they won’t do anything that could exclude them for being different,” she says.

“As a child heads towards their teens, they start to play with toys less, as they look to older children to see what is cool. Being accepted by their peers is so important to them that they will relinquish favourite toys simply to fit in.

“This is reinforced by adults telling youngsters to ‘grow up’, ‘stop being silly’, or ‘don’t be childish’ which contributes to our belief that playing and being playful, after a certain age, is inappropriate.”

Marisa strongly believes in overcoming the society’s discouragement from play, and tries to bring lightness and laughter into every day. She adds: “As a therapist, and a trainer of therapists, I find laughter very helpful. Encouraging people to play has its place in contributing to making steps towards positive mental wellbeing.”

Discover the wellbeing benefits of adult play

The seriousness of play

But it’s not just a laughing matter. Experts say that playing can help people deal with mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety, and can even support those with trauma.

Creative arts therapist Dr Alison McClymont uses play to help treat trauma in adults. She says that feeding the urges to be playful can actually cause the brain to return to a child-like state, which helps us to access and resolve buried issues.

She says: “While, to some, this may sound ‘kooky’ or new age, play therapies for adults are empirically studied, and I have worked with extremely traumatised people whose only route to therapy was through artistic expression or play.

“The importance of play should not be overlooked; I have used it to treat psychosis and extreme forms of trauma. Creative a

Friday Faves + giveaway time

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Hi hi! Happy Friday! What’s going on this weekend? I hope you have a fun and relaxing one ahead! I’m catching up on some work stuff this morning, studying for IHP, and fighting the temptation to decorate for Christmas. Usually we’re a strong “honor the bird” family and wait until after Thanksgiving, but this year I have zero chill. Give me wreaths, Christmas trees, sparkly holiday baubles, and all the holly jolly. I’m 100% in the Christmas spirit and want to live.it.up.

This weekend, Pilot is getting promoted to another leadership position, so we have a ceremony tomorrow. Also, our Kleiger fam is here to celebrate!! We had an amazing dinner at Culinary Dropout with them last night.

I’m so happy to spend some time with them and enjoy adventures today with Betsy while the kiddos are at school. The Pilot’s mom gets in today, too, so it should be a great weekend with lots of family/friend time.

It’s time for the weekly Friday Faves party! This is where I share some of my favorite finds from the week and around the web. I always love heading about your faves, too, so please shout out something you’re loving in the comments section below.

Read, watch, listen:

Listen to this week’s podcast episode here with a simple nutrition hack.

An important podcast episode from the Model Health Show. 

Reader comments on parenting teens.

The David Foster documentary on Netflix. Betsy told me I needed to watch it (“your boyfriend is in it”) and it blew me away. I was familiar with his background, but had no idea how many enormous hits he’s written and/or produced over the years, along with the talents he’s discovered.

I can’t wait to watch this.

Fashion + beauty:

Got this cute blazer for a steal and the quality is gorgeous. I love the way blazers look with jeans and a tank, or with a dress and Chelsea boots. I figured I’ll wear this one a lot this fall! 

I’ve had these Madewell jeans in my cart for about 2 weeks and think I’m going to go for it. This is my truce attempt between skinny jeans and the ridiculously unflatteri

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