Take the stress out of festivities by figuring out what means most to you, and discover your own new traditions along the way…
For those of us who celebrate, the holidays are bound with traditions and ideas of what a ‘perfect Christmas’ looks like. It can be a time of year full of additional pressures we don’t need, from feeling like we have to cook an Insta-worthy roast, to buying presents that painfully dent our bank balance, or spending the day doing things we don’t enjoy but feel obliged to do.
But by thinking about what really matters to us at Christmas, we can help make it into something that’s meaningful and magical.
Emotions and expectations
Contemplating what’s meaningful to us can benefit our mental health, and reduce the stress of the holidays. “People who have a sense of purpose in life feel more satisfied and content, have fewer health problems, and even live longer,” says counsellor Laura Duester. “Finding a sense of meaning at Christmas is therefore great for both your mental and physical health, and will help support your wellbeing into the new year.”
With the cost of living rising, the pressure to spend lots at Christmas can be stressful. Counsellor Louise Brown suggests making space for your feelings about financial pressures, and responding to these feelings with kindness.
“It can be helpful to share your feelings with others, as it is likely that others will have similar experiences, and may be relieved that you have brought this up,” says Louise. “Offering mutual support and sharing ideas can help us to feel more comfortable with some of the harder decisions we have to make.”
It’s easy to fall into a comparison trap. Social media and adverts are filled with images of happy family gatherings, and if this doesn’t echo our own experience, we can be left feeling lacking or hurt. But the images we see don’t always reflect reality – from burnt roast potatoes to missing loved ones. Whether it’s a friend bragging about buying their child the latest toys, or pressure from displays in shop windows, remember that this is just a snapshot.
“Try to accept Christmas as it is, rather than having ‘perfect’ expectations,” suggests Laura. “Just like any other day, it will have great bits, but lots of imperfections and challenges, too.”
Making a meaningful Christmas
Once you’ve let go of comparisons, try thinking about what you would love to do at Christmas, regardless of what you assume is expected of you. From creating and embracing new traditions to letting go of the things that aren’t important to us now, we can have a Christmas that’s personally meaningful to us and our loved ones.
Thinking about your values can help you work out what a meaningful Christmas would look like. “It’s important to be curious about what’s meaningful and important to you,” suggests Laura. “It might help to imagine how you’ll feel when January comes – what will you want to remember doing and enjoying over the festive period?”
Laura adds: “There are no right or wron