Intergenerational trauma can feel like an unrelenting trap, but it’s time to break free
The generations who raised us invariably have a huge impact on our lives, and the people that we become. As adults, we may find a lot of joy in noticing that we have adopted, for example, our mother’s sense of humour, our grandfather’s agreeableness, or our aunt’s passion. But there’s another side to this coin.
There’s a saying you might have heard of: ‘Hurt people hurt people.’ It’s a very simplistic way of talking about the way that one person’s pain can, often completely unintentionally, affect others. And when it comes to the way this manifests in family relationships, it turns into a well-documented psychological phenomenon.
“Intergenerational trauma is defined as trauma that is transferred from one generation of trauma survivors on to the second, and further generations, through genetics and experiences,” counsellor Melanie Kirk says. “This means that even though the original trauma may not have been experienced first-hand, the feelings, symptoms, and behaviours can live on.”
The trauma can be personal, – for example, the parent might have experienced abuse, been the victim of a serious crime, or have suffered loss or bereavement. Or, the trauma could be shared – Melanie points to the example of Holocaust survivors.
“In 2015, a psychiatry and neuroscience professor called Dr Rachel Yehuda directed a team of researchers, and conducted a study on the descendants of Holocaust survivors,” she explains. “It was discovered that the descendants had low levels of cortisol (the hormone that is released during times of stress, which helps to bring down the high levels of adrenaline released when a ‘fight or flight’ response is triggered).
“It was concluded that if one parent has experienced PTSD then future generations may be more likely to inherit the gene adaptation caused by a traumatic event. This in turn could result in the descendant being more susceptible to conditions such as depression and anxiety. Comparable studies were also carried out on the survivors and descendants of 9/11, which revealed similar results.”
What does intergenerational trauma look like?
In the same way that trauma will present differently from person to person, intergenerational trauma does, too. It’s a complex experience, and one that is best explored with the help of a mental health professional. That said, there are common themes.
Besides the genetic impact that Melanie previously explained, if the parent has experienced the trauma, it may affect the way that they interact with their child – they may find it more difficult to regulate their emotions, or to model appropriate coping behaviours to their children. In practice, this may look like a reduced tolerance to stress – perhaps finding they become overwhelmed or angry quickly – or they may find it more challenging to express love and affection. All this may then affect their children’s behaviour and coping mechanisms, and the way they go on to parent, or treat the