Happy accidents: discover how to turn mistakes into valuable lessons

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When things go wrong, it can be tempting to throw in the towel. But before you do that, consider the ways you can turn mistakes into valuable lessons

Happy accidents: discover how to turn mistakes into valuable lessons

We’re all familiar with the stomach-sinking feelings that come with the realisation that we’ve got something wrong. It could be at work, in our relationships, or out and about in the world – and big or small, these things can stick with us.

Neurologically speaking, there’s a lot going on in our brains when we put a foot wrong. In a 2018 study, neuroscientists at the California Institute of Technology traced how mistakes set off a chain reaction of brain activity and, rapidly, the brain lights up with the kind of activity that deeply encodes information.

But while the face-palming, cringing, and frustrating feelings that accompany mistakes aren’t generally pleasant, there are positives to our missteps.

“Mistakes can add huge value to our lives, and everyone has made at least one mistake in their lifetime,” says life coach Adam Craft. “Mistakes are our opportunity to grow and to gain knowledge. Many people say that they wouldn’t have been where they were in life without making mistakes. The all-important part, though, is learning from them, and understanding how to extract the positives from something that many view as a negative.”

It’s true that we need to reframe the way we feel about mistakes. In fact, a study published in the journal Memory in 2018 found that ‘near-miss’ mistakes can help a person learn faster than if they were to make no errors at all. And another study, published in the Journal of Educational Psychology, found that making deliberate mistakes – such as writing down the wrong answer to a question and then correcting it – can help improve our memory.

All that said, whether it comes from perfectionism or people-pleasing tendencies, many of us struggle in the face of our mistakes. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Have you gone wrong somewhere down the line? Follow this roadmap to turning mistakes into lessons.

Happy accidents: discover how to turn mistakes into valuable lessons

Acknowledge and accept

“Sounds easy right?” Adam says. “You may feel guilty when you make a mistake, but that guilt will be a lot stronger if you don’t properly take responsibility for it. Acknowledging this to others (including yourself) will ease that guilt, helping you to start learning from your mistakes.”

For some of us, this first step might be going against our instincts. In the moment, we might look to start explaining away the mistake by diving into the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ of its origin. We might point to a series of events, or another person, that could take the fall for us. And though this might offer us some instant relief, it might not necessarily help us move forward.

This is also an important point if you find yourself constantly returning to, and ruminating on, a mistake you made in the past. There’s nothing you can do now, so once you’ve accepted that, what should you do next?


As Adam says, mistakes don’t have to feel negative &

5 compassionate ways to deal with grief-related guilt

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Following a bereavement, you can become overwhelmed with difficult emotions. Addressing them head-on can be the key to working through them

5 compassionate ways to deal with grief-related guilt

Losing someone is never easy. Death doesn’t wait until everything is resolved; it strikes when people are in the middle of living, or still trying to work through unresolved emotions. Even long-term illnesses don’t give people time to truly prepare for grief. This often leaves us with guilt, but there are ways to work through this.

Facing the guilt

If you lose someone, it’s common to run through your last moments with them, past conversations, and everything you did or could have done. Your own words can come back to haunt you, or you may wonder if you should have been there more often. These feelings can be overwhelming, so trying to avoid them is a natural reaction. If you suppress them, or find other ways to ignore them, they will have to resurface eventually. So, finding ways to face your guilt and address it is best for your long-term mental health.

Exploring therapy

Therapy is a good first step in dealing with grief and other emotions related to your loss. Instead of having the thoughts circling in your head, it helps to get these out, if only to hear yourself say them. The things we feel guilty about after a loved one’s death don’t always make sense outside of our own minds. Expressing this can help you realise that the guilt is unfounded.

In group therapy, you can hear others who, despite having different experiences, have the same emotions around death and grief. If hearing your own regrets spoken out loud doesn’t help you take a step back, hearing others talk about guilt might help you realise that we all have regrets.

Finding resources to help

If you don’t feel confident enough to go to therapy, or you need extra help, there are resources you can use. Your doctor should be top of your list, as they can offer advice, prescribe temporary medication if necessary, and tell you about other options you have.

You can also find websites, podcasts, and books written about grief, from professionals or those who have experienced it themselves. These can help you realise you aren’t alone in how you feel. While hearing vastly different stories across all these platforms, you’ll notice the common feeling of guilt. Some websites have chat functions, or social media pages, where you can share experiences with other recently bereaved people. If you find yourself telling others they have nothing to feel guilty about, try applying this same kindness and understanding to yourself.

Accepting the past

Accepting the past isn’t easy, but accepting it can’t be changed, is one step towards moving on. Then you need to think about everything you did right, the happy times you shared, and the bigger picture. Taking a step back can help you see things more clearly. This takes time, because, during the first stages of grief, emotions can be overwhelming, with many conflicting feelings all vying for your attention. Separating these and trying to work through them is almost impossible during the early stages of the grieving process.

Forgiving yourself

This is the final step, because it takes time an

115: My 5 go-to supplements

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Hi friends! Happy Wednesday! How’s the week going? I hope you’re having a great one so far. I’ve got a new solo podcast episode up this morning and I’m sharing my five favorite everyday supplements. I take a handful each day for various reasons, but these are my top choices for everyday.

Take a listen here!


115: My 5 go-to supplements

Friendly reminder that I’m not a doctor and I’m not telling you to take these; I’m simply sharing which ones I like and what work for me. If you have any questions about supplements, check with your doctor, as some supplements can be contraindicated with certain medical conditions and medications.

Studies referenced in this episode:

Benefits of collagen and how it can potentially improve skin texture.

How aloe vera can encourage collagen synthesis. 

Safety of creatine.

How magnesium binds to GABA receptors.

My favorite sources:

*I have discount and affiliate codes below because I’ve used these products for years and have worked with many of the companies in some capacity. Happy to share the love if you’re looking for some recs 🙂

Collagen is from Thrive Market

Protein powders: I like DNS (FITNESSISTA10), Truvani, and NOW Foods (FITNESSISTA) the most right now

Magnesium spray

Creatine: I like NOW Foods and Legion

Use FITNESSISTA for 20% off Organifi (you can stack this with other promos!)

Use FITNESSISTA for 20% off NOW Foods

Thank you so much for listening and for all of your support with the podcast! Please be sure to subscribe, and leave a rating or review if you enjoyed this episode. If you leave a rating, head to this page and you’ll get a little “thank you” gift from me to you. 

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Gynaecological problems are being left for 10 years+ with no solution

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A new study from period and sexual wellness brand ohne shines a light on the glaring gender health gap

Gynaecological problems are being left for 10 years+ with no solution

Those of us with uteruses will likely know that things can get complicated when it comes to gynaecological health, but due to a lack of education and an abundance of taboo and shame, problems are often left unresolved.

According to new research from period and sexual wellness brand ohne, 80% of those with uteruses live with period, gynaecological and sexual wellbeing problems, with 49% saying they’ve been living with symptoms for more than 10 years. A similar pattern was noticed with sexual wellbeing, with 42% admitting to unresolved symptoms.

A number of survey respondents said they hadn’t sought help for their symptoms; 33% of those experiencing sexual wellness issues and 44% of those aged 16-34 with menstrual symptoms. The reasons for this included feeling that GPs don’t understand female health properly, being offered medication rather than dealing with the root problem, feeling ashamed or embarrassed and not knowing where to turn for help.

The research also found a lack of education in this area, with over a quarter of Brits over 16 saying they weren’t taught about reproductive health at school (rising to 50% in over 55s). On top of this, an incredible 97% said they weren’t taught about conditions like endometriosis, adenomyosis and polycystic ovary syndrome, despite these conditions affecting 1.5 million people in the UK.

Over half of those who menstruate also say they don’t properly understand their cycle, with a quarter noting that they weren’t taught about periods at school.

Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal

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With all the flavors of pumpkin pie stirred into a creamy bowl of oatmeal, this quick and easy Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal is our favorite fall oatmeal.

It’s hard to beat a hot fragrant breakfast that can be on the table in less than 15 minutes.

Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal with Vanilla Whipped Cream - get the recipe at barefeetinthekitchen.com

Pumpkin Spice Oatmeal

We enjoy topping our bowls of oatmeal with a swirl of freshly whipped cream to make it even more like pumpkin pie.

The whole family enjoys this oatmeal and the kids have requested this again every single day this week; I think I’m safe to say that it is a hit.

It’s been ten years since we first made pumpkin spice oatmeal and this is still my middle son’s favorite oatmeal. He happily makes this oatmeal throughout the year.

There’s nothing better than having a terrific breakfast that the kids can make on their own. Especially when they make enough to share with me.

Top your bowl of pumpkin pie oatmeal with whipped cream and transform your breakfast into something absolutely craveable.

Oatmeal Ingredients

  • rolled oats
  • water
  • milk
  • pumpkin puree
  • brown sugar
  • pumpkin pie spice mix
  • kosher salt

Pumpkin Oatmeal Recipe

  1. Combine all ingredients in a large saucepan and bring to a boil.
  2. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook over medium-low heat for 5-8 minutes, stirring constantly until the oatmeal has thickened.
  3. Remove from the heat, portion into serving bowls, and top with whipped cream or a drizzle of heavy cream.
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