When everything gets dark, sometimes we have to make our own light. Here we speak to positive psychology practitioner Sophie Cliff about the power of positivity journaling

As I write this, the world is feeling a little gloomy. Grey clouds are hanging heavy in the sky and the current news cycle is enough to make anyone dizzy. Having said that, I made time to journal this morning and I’m listening to my favourite ‘autumn vibes’ playlist, so there are flickers of joy happening within.

This is something that can feel so tough at times, but can make the biggest difference to our mood – prioritising positive habits. Journaling is something I’ve been doing for decades. It’s my way of processing and untangling my thoughts, but it can also be a powerful tool in lifting your mood.

According to Positive Psychology Practitioner, Sophie Cliff, research from the field of positive psychology shows that regular journaling can help us cope better with stressful situations, improve our psychological wellbeing and boost our mood and sense of optimism.

Because of this, Highland Spring sparkling water has teamed up with positivity artist Katie Smith, to create the ‘Uplift Your Everyday’ journal. Consulting Sophie when creating the journal, the collaboration has resulted in a beautiful hardback book that aims to encourage positive reflection and gratitude. There’s even a handy water tracker, so you can keep track of your daily intake. 

OK, but what exactly is positivity journaling?

“Positive journaling can be defined as expressive or personal writing that focuses on or explores positive emotions and the good parts of life.” Sophie tells us.

“That could include setting positive intentions, writing gratitude lists or reflecting on the best parts of your day. Research shows that regular positive journaling can boost optimism, increase positive emotions and enhance our physical and mental wellbeing.”

The journal puts this idea into practice, with prompts like, ‘How did you uplift your day?’ and ‘What are you looking forward to?’ There’s also a simple mood tracker, where you can make a note about how you’ve felt that day.

“A big part of being able to proactively care for our wellbeing is noticing how we're feeling and spotting any patterns.” Sophie explains.

“By tracking our mood, we can start to draw associations - for example, are you more likely to feel positive when you've taken the time to exercise? Does a poor night's sleep put you in a bad mood? Knowing these things about yourself equips you with information to make smart changes that

Integrative Therapist Billie Dunlevy discusses low self-esteem and shares how you can start to improve yours, today

‘Self-esteem’ is a phrase we hear and use often but what is the definition of self-esteem, and more importantly perhaps, low self esteem? Billie Dunlevy, a Counselling Directory Member and Integrative Therapist has the answer and shares some realistic ways we can start to improve our own self-esteem.

“Self-esteem is a measure of how we value and perceive ourselves,” Billie explains on Happiful's podcast. “It’s fundamentally about our attitude and how much we like ourselves. It’s different from self-confidence which is based more on an external measure of success, such as our ability to solve problems, land a promotion or give a dazzling presentation. Some people can actually have high self-confidence but low self-esteem.”

Low self-esteem

When we engage with our sense of low self-esteem, Billie continues, it can leave us with a sense of heaviness or hopelessness. “We can tend to have an overall negative view of ourselves, which can make us judge and speak to ourselves harshly. We can sometimes feel unloveable, incompetent and fearful of making mistakes or letting other people down.”

How low self-esteem presents to the outside world, she notes, is very individual.It could manifest in the avoidance of other people and relationships, overworking, being constantly busy and productive and having issues around boundary setting and people pleasing.

Working on yourself

The good news is that it is possible to work on low self-esteem and improve this over time. Billie outlines some of the practices we can start to include in our daily routines to address our low-self esteem straight away.

• Check your self-talk. Don’t allow it to run, try to counter it with another voice that is more compassionate or kind. That also goes for jokingly putting yourself down in a self-deprecating way. It’s really not helpful.
  
• Be more mindful and come off autopilot. Find a quiet place and ask yourself these questions regularly. ‘How am I feeling?’ ‘What do I need?’ ‘What’s going on?’ No

Why is our sense of identity important, does authenticity matter, and how can we better understand ourselves and make positive changes for the better?

When you stop to think about who you really are and how others see you, what comes to mind? Our personalities are made up of a unique combination of characteristics and qualities that form how we see ourselves (and how others see us, too).

There are lots of different ‘personality type’ frameworks and tests out there, some more famous than others. Many people like to use them as a way to try and understand themselves or to help guide their career choices. While some people think that they give us insight into ourselves and others (how our minds work, how we’ll react to others, how we may approach different situations, even what we value), there isn’t actually any scientific evidence that tests like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test offer deeper insight or meaning.

Despite the lack of evidence, we’re fascinated with personality types, tests, and quick ways to get to know ourselves better. Why is that? And how can we really benefit from gaining a deeper understanding of who we are?

Why is our sense of identity important?

Our sense of identity is comprised of our sense of self - our unique characteristics, afflictions, and social roles. Your personality, likes, dislikes, abilities, beliefs, values, and motivations all help build up and contribute to your self of who you are as a person.

We develop a sense of identity when we are young, and this can continue to develop over time as we grow, change, and encounter new situations, people, and learn more about the world.

Having a strong sense of identity can help us to feel like we belong. It can also help strengthen our confidence and overall sense of wellbeing, leading us to make long-lasting friendships with others who share similar interests and values. It can help us to view the world in a more optimistic light, be more open to learning about new things and different people, and generally be happier in ourselves.

Why does authenticity matter?

Knowing and understanding who you are can help you to live more authentically. This doesn’t necessarily make your life easier, but it can make your priorities clearer, help you to feel more energised and motivated, and decrease feelings of self-doubt.

As Life Coach Directory member Dr

What is intimacy, is it really that important, and how can we fix intimacy issues in our relationships? We answer your top questions about all things intimacy-related (and share how you can find help)

Intimacy generally refers to the closeness between people in a personal relationship. Typically building over time as you feel a deeper sense of connection, grow to care more about each other, and feel more comfortable together, you can be physically and/or emotionally close to someone.

For many people, the more you work on deepening your sense of intimacy within a relationship, the stronger your relationship feels. But what if you struggle to feel those connections? What if your partner avoids intimacy, or it feels like you are growing apart? And can you strengthen intimacy after your connections have begun to fade?

We explain more about your most commonly asked intimacy questions, and share how (and where) you can find help.

Are there different types of intimacy?

There are many different types of intimacy. Fostering a sense of intimacy requires a mixture of openness, trust, and vulnerability. Physical intimacy alone doesn’t guarantee a deeper sense of closeness and connection.

While not all relationships will involve all kinds of intimacy, many romantic relationships, marriages, or long-term partnerships involve a mixture of several different kinds. These can include:

• Emotional intimacy - being open with your feelings, thoughts, and fears (often leading to feeling safe and able to be open without judgement).
• Intellectual/mental intimacy - sharing ideas, life perspectives, and opinions whilst being open to learning, challenging each other, and respecting differing viewpoints to create a sense of mutual respect.
• Physical intimacy - holding hands, hugging, cuddling, kissing, and other physical touches including (but not limited to) those of a sexual nature.
• Spiritual intimacy - feeling safe to share your innermost ideas and beliefs on the purpose of life, your connection with the world and/or divine energies. (You may have differing beliefs, but feel validated in sharing and discussing these, and may share underlying values such as being honest or faithful).

Other types of intimacy can also include experiential, creative, aesthetic, recreational, commitment, communication, and more. There are many different ways to build a sense of intimacy, bringing you closer to each other and strengthening the bonds that create and hold your relationship together.

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The stigma stops here. Is your workplace doing enough to become menopause friendly? Our expert columnist Claudine Thornhill investigates…

Does your workplace have a menopause policy yet? If not, one may be on its way to a workplace near you. In July 2022, the government policy paper, Menopause and the Workplace: How to enable fulfilling working lives, suggested that businesses have open conversations about the menopause in the workplace to help break down the taboo and normalise the issue. The paper also discussed the Equality Act 2010, which protects employees against discrimination at work. As a result, many employers have started to look at how they can make their workplaces more menopause-friendly.

Not many would have dreamed of a time when women’s health and work would be mentioned in the same sentence, let alone at a policy level. Periods, reproductive health issues, and menopause, have long been taboo, only to be discussed with close friends and family, and hardly ever in the workplace. But with just over 4.4 million women aged 45–60 in employment in the UK at the end of 2021, the average age of menopause being 51, and considering that symptoms of menopause can affect mental and physical health, it’s no wonder that government ministers issued a review of menopause and employment.

When we think of menopause, the typical images that come to mind are often red-faced women, glistening with sweat, desperately fanning themselves. We think of irritability, emotional rollercoasters, and mental fogginess. Actually, each person’s experience of menopause is completely unique to them.

Firstly, there are three stages of menopause; perimenopause, where progesterone levels begin to decline. Periods may become irregular and cravings, weight gain, fatigue, and irritability may increase. People may also experience night sweats. Emotionally, we may be less tolerant of stress.

The second stage, menopause, officially happens when your periods have stopped completely for 12 months. Oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone decline at this stage. Symptoms might include loss of muscle mass as a result of testosterone decline, a build-up of fat mass due to oestrogen loss, hot flushes, reduced libido, lower mood, fatigue, vaginal dryness, and mental fogginess.

The final stage, post-menopause, is what follows. During this stage, symptoms may persist for up to five years, and gradually reduce in intensity. It’s important to reiterate that every person’s experience is different; some women breeze through menopause, fanning themselves as they go, while others have symptoms that may seem unrelenting.

So, how does menopause affect employment? According to the British Menopausal Society, women have cited poor concentration and memory, tiredness, low mood, depression, and reduced confidence as affecting their work. Hot flushes at work have even been linked to women wanting to resign from their roles.

When it comes to employment law, although there isn’t protection against discrimination on the basis of menopause, the Equality Act 2010 does offer protection against discrimination on the basis of age, gender, gender reassignment, and disability. This means that a workplace