Dianne Buswell: “Finding time for yourself is not a selfish thing”

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Strictly Come Dancing’s Dianne Buswell joins Happiful’s podcast to share her love of dance, the importance of rest and the joy she feels as the author of her new book Move Yourself Happy

Dianne Buswell: “Finding time for yourself is not a selfish thing”

Diane Buswell brings joy to millions of people as a professional dancer on Strictly Come Dancing, and that joy is repaid tenfold, as she explains on Happiful’s podcast.

“I still pinch myself daily that I’m doing a job that is literally a dream,” she says, beaming.

Read the full interview with Dianne in issue 74 of Happiful Magazine.

Dianne has dedicated her life to date to dancing, having started when she was just four years old. “I remember so clearly just absolutely loving going to dance class,” she explains. “It was never a chore. I always wanted to be dancing.”

Move Yourself Happy

Fast forward to 2020, just two years after she met her partner Joe Sugg on Strictly, and dancing as she knew it temporarily came to a halt, as the first Covid lockdown was announced.

However, Dianne’s determination to move and support others kicked in and she started to provide free classes on YouTube and Instagram. The feedback was gratifying and spurred her on.

“I had people messaging me daily,” Dianne shares. “They were saying that it was the first time they’d moved their body in weeks and it felt good, had given them a purpose and helped with their mental health. It was just such a nice thing to hear from all these people and know that I’d actually helped them to have a bit of happiness in their day, in a time that was stressful for so many people.”

This was also the catalyst for Dianne’s beautiful new book Move Yourself Happy: 21 days to make joyful movement a habit. Her book focuses on four key pillars; movement, nutrition, rest and positivity. It provides a three-week plan for movement as well as personal insights from Dianne and reminders to honour and respect your body and what works for you.

8 meaningful Mother's Day gifts for self-care and mindfulness

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Gifts should be meaningful, so we've gathered together the best on offer this Mother’s Day

8 meaningful Mother's Day gifts for self-care and mindfulness

Mother's Day is a time to reflect on the things that the mothers in our lives do for us, to celebrate their roles and to celebrate the power of the relationships we share.

If you chose to do this with a gift, the key to getting that right is to find something that has meaning – whether that be through tapping into a shared interest, anticipating a need, or by offering a prompt to put themselves first.

So, here, we’ve gathered together eight of our favourite gifts that bring wellbeing, mindfulness, and self-care to the forefront.

1. Two Chimps Coffee, On Amother Level coffee

Sitting down with that first steaming hot cup of coffee in the morning is a delight to behold, and it’s even better when the coffee you're sipping comes from an independent, carbon-neutral roastery. The limited-edition Mother's Day coffee from Two Chimps is blended with notes of shortbread, lemon, and blackcurrant, making for a comforting and uplifting experience.

(£9.95, twochimpscoffee.com)

8 meaningful Mother's Day gifts for self-care and mindfulness


2. ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’, by Rachel Kelly

The fifth book of poetry by writer and mental health advocate Rachel Kelly, You’ll Never Walk Alone is a beautiful, collection of poetry, covering a range of styles and topics. Bringing together poems for each moment of life, including the experience of motherhood, this collection is a beautiful addition to any bookshelf.

(£16.99, waterstones.com)

8 meaningful Mother's Day gifts for self-care and mindfulness


3. BakesterBox, baking box

Baking can be such a joy. Not only does it result in tasty treats, but it also comes with a load of mental health and wellbeing benefits, too. The baking boxes from BakesterBox come with everything that you need to create beautiful bakes, from butterscotch and rye nut tarts, to cream tea baking kits, and a marbled chocolate cheesecake. Buy a one-off kit, or set up a subscription for a monthly box.

(From £10, bakesterbox.com)

8 meaningful Mother's Day gifts for self-care and mindfulness


4. Babbel, language class subscriptions

For mums who never want to stop learning, a subscription to the language learning platform Babbel includes everything she will need to embrace the challenge of learning a new language. The membership c

Leadership and self-care: how can I lead by example?

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In this expert column, we’re exploring self-care in leadership – AKA, how to take care of yourself when you’re used to putting everyone and everything else first

Leadership and self-care: how can I lead by example?

Look at some of the top leadership traits and you’ll see an impressive list of qualities; dependable, decisive, innovative, risk-taking, solutions-focused, confident, and empathetic, to name a few. Leaders are the people we depend on in both our professional and personal lives, and it’s due to these qualities that many of us look to leaders for a sense of security, direction, and stability.

Some of the most revered leaders have a sense of duty, often to the point of selflessness – think Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. These great leaders may be exceptional examples, but I’m sure we can think of people in our day-to-day lives who exude such admirable qualities as well. However, what happens on the other side of that coin, when empathy, a sense of duty, and responsibility for others’ welfare comes at the expense of a leader’s own wellbeing?

Many of the people I work with, as a nutritional therapist and wellness coach, are leaders in their careers, and leaders in their businesses. Irrespective of the initial health issue that needs attention, a common area that comes up in the course of our working together, in addition to nutrition, is self-care, stress management, and sleep.

According to Global Entrepreneurship Monitor, a record 12.6% of UK adults were in the first three months of running a business or were already running a new business in 2021 – the highest figure since the study was first conducted in 1999. With the rise of the side hustle, and the number of people starting businesses at an unprecedented high, it naturally follows that stress and fatigue may feature, and that self-care falls to the back of the to-do list. Look online and you’ll see content on both productivity and toxic productivity, but less on self-care as a leader. Whatever side of the fence you sit on, it’s true to say that being a leader at work, or the leader of a new business, comes with putting other things before yourself, often to the detriment of long-term health and wellbeing.

So how can leaders, particularly those with a side hustle or new business, support their health and wellbeing?

Plan to eat well

When the days are long and the calendar is longer, it’s unlikely that cooking up a nutritious meal is at the top of your priority list at the end of a busy day. Temptation and availability make it easy to grab and go, or to order in, while some people may skip meals altogether. Being tired, and hungry in addition, means that we’re less likely to make the best choices. Save yourself the brain power and plan what you’ll eat in advance. I advise my clients to take a realistic look at their diaries. If it’s showing a distinct lack of time for cooking, it may be worth meal planning in advance, including deciding what you’ll eat, where you’ll get your dish from, and being confident that it’ll provide a balanced meal option. This might mean meal prepping ahead of time, using a meal delivery service, or having a go-to list of restaurants that you can rely on to provide balanced meals when you’re in a rut.

Sleep well

What is healthy selfishness and when is it ok to be selfish?

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Is putting ourselves first always selfish? And is being selfish really always a bad thing? We explain more about healthy selfishness and how it can help you

What is healthy selfishness and when is it ok to be selfish?

Being called selfish is an unpleasant blow. Socially speaking, the idea of being selfish is taboo: it’s something we should strive to avoid at all costs. To be called selfish means you are inconsiderate of other people, putting your own pleasure and gains ahead of others. Yet the term can often be used as a weapon against us, to manipulate us into doing things for others – even when it could be to our own detriment.

Can selfishness be good?

Selfishness isn’t always bad. According to experts, selfishness can be healthy, while altruism (the selfless concern for the wellbeing of others) can become extreme and unhealthy.

Scott Kaufman from the Department of Psychology at Columbia University, New York, and Emanuel Jauk from the Department of Psychology at the University of Graz, Austria and Clinical Psychology and Behavioral Neuroscience at Technische Universitat Dresden, Germany, recently published their research into healthy selfishness and pathological altruism.

“Selfishness is often regarded as an undesirable or even immoral characteristic. However, human history as well as the works of humanistic and psychodynamic psychologists point to a more complex picture: not all selfishness is necessarily bad, and not all altruism is necessarily good,” they explain.

According to their research, healthy selfishness can be related to higher levels of psychological wellbeing, developing skills necessary to deal with the demands placed on us by our environment in an effective way (adaptive functioning), as well as developing behaviour that genuinely is intended to help others (prosocial behaviour).

In contrast, those who practised pathological altruism (where we do things in an attempt to promote the welfare of others but cause harm that was reasonably foreseeable by others) were more likely to exhibit behaviours that stopped them from adapting to new or difficult circumstances (maladaptive psychological behaviours), vulnerable narcissism (a narcissist type that is highly self-conscious, insecure, and hypersensitive to rejection), and selfish motivations for helping others.

What is healthy selfishness?

Healthy selfishness refers to having a healthy respect for your own health, growth, joy, freedom, and happiness. It can mean using boundaries to help you define and refocus on your needs and those of others. By setting boundaries, we can not only allow our focus to return to our own needs, but we can create the emotional bandwidth to refocus on those that we love and care for.

For example, by saying no to attending a work social on a Friday night that you know is likely to make you feel exhausted, drained, and overwhelmed, you can instead reserve that energy for spending time with friends and family. This type of ‘healthy selfishness’ means that you are prioritising yourself and those closest to you, using your time and energy to

5 ways to embrace anti-perfectionism and welcome the new you

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Set yourself free from unnecessary limitations, with these life-changing tips

5 ways to embrace anti-perfectionism and welcome the new you

It can be easy to think that if we aren’t going to do something perfectly, there is little point in trying. But there’s a fresh perspective on the scene. Anti-perfectionism teaches us that, when tackling any task, we can be happy to learn slowly, through trial and error, and by making mistakes. We can be as pleased with the processes as with the outcomes, and the imperfections in our work become stories, memories, and trophies.

I have recently begun renovating my home, something I never could have done without embracing anti-perfectionism. So, what has it taught me? Sometimes, we put our desires to try something new on hold because we feel inhibited by expectations (both other people’s and our own). Letting go of these expectations can be both challenging and freeing. Anti-perfectionism can help us to get started, here’s how to embrace it.

1. Establish your reason

When taking on any task, it is always helpful to start by considering your end goal. Your reasons for starting a task, new project, or picking up a hobby might be to learn the processes involved, to save money, to enjoy the experience, or you might really want to have a go at making something instead of buying it.

None of these objectives requires you to become an expert, they are all about something other than achieving an immaculate outcome. Anti-perfectionism allows us to create or enjoy without the pressure of expecting perfect results. It’s about doing your best, making improvements, and enjoying yourself.

2. Use what you’ve got, start where you are

Think about your starting point: what do you already know about the task you are taking on? Have you seen other people doing it? Can you use any skills you already have?

These start points are useful in helping us to accept our limitations. Without the pressure of the ‘right’ way of doing something, you can be creative with the ways in which you do things – learning through trial and error.

Stepping back, looking at what you’ve done, and making small improvements as you go, can help you find joy in, and be grateful for, your efforts.

3. Set reasonable goals which acknowledge your own skills

Allowing yourself plenty of time, and giving yourself permission to make mistakes, are wonderfully aligned with anti-perfectionism. If you have never done something before, it’s unreasonable to expect mastery or expert results in record-breaking time.

Anti-perfectionism lets us choose to hire a professional if that’s what suits us, or, if we want to do it ourselves, we can work slowly, celebrating progress along the way. Before you start, think of the things you are good at, or really enjoy. How can you use these in your project?

Break away from unrealistic expectations that our blankets must be matching, hand-crafted, and perfectly square, or that our homes should be immaculate all the time. We can work on organic veg patches and still enjoy fish-finger sandwiches for dinner.

4. Enjoy the process

There are things we can do to make sure processes are as enjoyable as outcomes. Taking ‘before’ photos, or creating mood boards before starting a project, can be super encouraging, as can focusing on emotional outcomes, like joy, Read more

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