With the cost of living weighing heavily on our minds, columnist Grace Victory explores the pressures on parents, and her personal tips for budgeting when you have a growing brood

I think it’s fair to say that most of us are feeling financially insecure at the moment. Whether you are literally just getting through each month, a student nurse trying to make ends meet, or a mother trying to go back to work but nursery fees are stopping you, the rising cost of living is affecting us all.

I grew up poor. I grew up knowing about payday loans and child benefits, and I understood from a very early age that if I wanted something from life I needed to go out into the world and grab it, because nothing was going to be handed to me.

We lived in a flat on a council estate, then a council house, and at 18, after finishing college, I chose to get a job instead of furthering my education. I knew I needed money, and that I would need to contribute to my family home in some way, so I said no to university or a professional musical theatre school (which was very much a dream of mine). And while I don’t regret my decision at all, I do often wonder if I would’ve made that choice if me and my family had financial freedom.

I don’t ever remember going without, but I do remember my mum budgeting, saving from January to afford the next Christmas, and her never ever buying anything for herself. I believe my mum sacrificed a lot in order for me and my sister to be clothed and fed, and I will forever be grateful for that. I know all types of family dynamics struggle, but single mothers do not have it easy in any capacity, so I respect those going at it alone.

I started making money from social media in 2015 and, since then, every year that goes by I make more and more in profit. It’s no secret that influencers, content creators, and YouTubers, get paid a substantial amount from ads, paid partnerships, or affiliate links – I am no different. But I often struggle with knowing where I am in my identity, because I grew up with very little, and now I have so much.

And it’s not just about having the money to buy things, it’s about the opportunities, convenience, and mental relief that comes when your bank account is abundant. It’s the lack of worry or anxiety that I’m grateful for, because at the start of my career I struggled to pay my rent, and the stress levels I felt were enough to make me vomit. I’d see people online flying business class to Bali while I was sinking further into debt.

I’m very proud to say that I have £0 in debt now, which is bloody amazing, and I’ve made a life for myself and my children that looks different to the life I had as a kid. But I’m also becoming increasingly aware of our ever-changing world and the fact that money just doesn’t seem to go as far as it used to – or as far as it bloody should.

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A recent study revealed that living in a cold home can increase the risk of poor mental health. We take a look at why this is and share some tips for staying warm for less this winter

Energy prices have caused a stir for years but none more so than during the current cost of living crisis. We know that living in colder temperatures can affect our physical health as it lowers our immune response, but new research from The Conversation suggests it poses a significant risk to our mental health, too.

As Britain sits in the temperature climate zone, we don’t typically experience extreme changes in the weather and our temperatures remain fairly mild throughout the year. Despite this, the UK has higher deaths associated with colder weather than many other colder countries which is thought to be the result of poor quality housing, poverty, and the increasing costs of heating our homes.

How does the cold affect our mental health?

In recent months, we’ve seen the impact that the cost of living crisis is having on our energy bills. As we head towards winter, our heating bills will likely exacerbate feelings of stress and financial worries. In 2018, the average cost of heating a UK home was £453.24 which has since risen significantly.

Not only can this financial uncertainty create anxiety, but also feelings of being out of control of our own environment. People might avoid socialising to climb into bed early to keep warm or may simply be exhausted from draining their body’s energy for warmth. This can contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Sadly, for those who may already be experiencing poor mental health, the risks are often more severe and this does not consider the impact across the wider population - those who are unemployed or on lower incomes are more likely to live in a colder home, as well as single parents and those who rent.

For those currently working from home, the choice between heading back into the office or staying put offers little comfort as commuting also comes with its fair share of costs.

How can we heat our homes for less?

In light of the current energy crisis, here are some tips for keeping warm for little to no cost.

1. Make use of curtains

During the day, make sure you open curtains or blinds to let as much natural sunlight into your home as possible. This is a great way to heat your home for free. When it starts to get dark, draw your curtains and this will trap the heat as well as provide an extra layer of insulation.

2. Rejig your furniture

Take a look around your home and note any furniture that could be blocking radiators. If possible, try moving your furniture away from the heat source to allow the warm air to flow more freely around your room.

3. Locate and block out draughts

If you’ve noticed a chill from your front door, around your windows, or coming from a crack in the floor, now is the best time to draught-proof your home before winter firmly sets in. You can Read more

Keeping your spending in check over the holidays can be challenging. Even when we know we can’t afford to overspend, the thought of letting friends, family and loved ones down can urge us to go beyond our means. We share 25 ways you can manage your finances in the run-up to the holidays and avoid a Christmas debt hangover

The holidays should feel magical, shouldn’t they? Spending time with loved ones, watching nostalgic films, playing board games, giving meaningful gifts, and sharing comforting foods. Yet, in the UK, over a quarter of us feel stressed about the festive season. As the holidays draw nearer, nearly half (46%) find even thinking about what Christmas presents to buy is stressful, 45% find the costs to be worrying, and 42% find the general financial impact of Christmas to be stressful.

Around three in 10 of us will overspend during the Christmas period. While that’s down from previous years when up to 43% would spend beyond their means, we still spend around 29% more each December than we do any other month.

It’s estimated that a third of us will borrow money to pay for Christmas. That’s 16.9 million people, feeling the pressure to put gifts, food, and even increased bills around heating, holiday lights, and travel to see family on credit cards, using our overdrafts, or taking out a loan.

But why do so many of us feel the pressure to spend, spend, spend during the run-up to the holidays? And for those already struggling, how do we avoid going into further debt during the most expensive months of the year?

Why do we overspend at Christmas/during the holidays?

Many of us have fond childhood memories of past holidays spent with family, friends and loved ones. Whether that’s remembering picking out the perfect tree together, eating your favourite home-cooked meal with extended family, or that feeling of surprise and gratitude at being given that one special gift you didn’t even know you wanted.

As Counselling Directory member and counsellor Dahlian Kirby explains, our underlying idea that Christmas should be a special time we spend together with our families could be getting overshadowed by our own high expectations.

“The main problem for many people around Christmas is unrealistic expectations. The expectations create pressure to be what you think you should be. This can cause tension and frustration in itself. There is also the possibility that we see Christmas as the time that will rescue us from the boring, the familiar, and even from depression.

“It can lift our mood, as can tasty food and baubles and visits from people we love. However, Christmas won’t cure any issues or problems.”

Our anxiety around being ‘good enough’ and creating the ‘perfect’ celebration can also lead to overspending, Read more

Laughing with our friends is one of the best things we can do for our mental health, but how do you navigate spending quality time with them in the current economic crisis? We share eight low-cost and free things you can do together

The current economic climate has seen many of us take to money-saving hacks and low-cost spending as we try and negotiate the colder months. During this period of uncertainty, it is important that we continue to support our mental health. One of the best ways we can do this is by socialising.

Laughing with our closest friends releases feel-good endorphins, which is just what we’re all in need of right now. So, how do we balance meeting up with friends whilst still setting boundaries for our spending? The good news is that there are many free and low-cost things you can do whilst still enjoying some quality time with your pals.

A dinner party

Rather than going out for a meal, why not try hosting a dinner party instead? Ask each of your friends to bring a plate of food, whether that’s something cooked or just some nibbles. If you don’t fancy trying your hand at cooking a meal, you could try cooking together, with each of you bringing an ingredient.

A movie night

This is guaranteed to be a night of giggles. With October just around the corner, you could get together for a series of Halloween films complete with snacks and cosy drinks. If you’re struggling for some inspiration, here’s our top Halloween movie recommendations for a spooky night in:

• Halloween (1978 / 2018)
• Hocus Pocus (1993)
• The Shining (1980)
• IT (2017)
• Ghostbusters (1984)

A spa day

Rather than paying for a day out at the spa, why not bring the spa to you? You could get your friends to bring lotions, foot scrubs, face masks, and anything else that may make you feel pampered. Complete the day with some snacks and fizz and enjoy a relaxing time full of laughs.

Do some outdoor activities together

Whether that’s getting together for a game of football, going out for a walk or just spending time in nature with a picnic, getting outside with your friends is a great way to reap the benefits of both socialising and the outdoors. Getting fresh air and taking a moment of mindfulness to embrace the beauty of nature will do wonders for your mental wellbeing.

Volunteer together

Giving back to the community is a great way to boost your feel-good hormones, drive positive change and build social connections. Even better, get your friends involved and make a day of it, or schedule time to make it a regular occurrence. Try and decide on a common interest and something you’d all like to do together. If you can’t commit to volunteering regularly, you could go to a local organisation or food bank and ask if they need any one-off help.

Visit a local town

Another great low-cost activity to do with your friends is to get up a map and pick a local town that you’ve not visited before. Perhaps there’s a historic monument you could visit or you can do some window-shopping and stop for a coffee. By chipping in on fuel and spending the day taking in the sights of your local surroundings, you can have a great day out without spending too much money.

Bake together

For keen bakers, you could get together and each bring

The current economic crisis has seen many people turn to their careers to try and offset some of their financial difficulties. We asked Mental Health First Aid England what employers can do to help

Britain is facing the highest rate of inflation since the 1980s and, whilst we’ve seen promises of energy price caps and ‘levelling up’, there is still a great deal of uncertainty among us. As the cost of living rises, many people are being forced to consider changing their careers, upping their hours, or even getting a second job to try and offset some of the financial difficulties they may be experiencing.

With this in mind, we reached out to Simon Blake OBE, Chief Executive of Mental Health First Aid England, to ask what employers can do to support their employees’ financial wellbeing.

What steps can employers take to support employees' financial wellbeing?

As an employer, it is important to remove the stigma regarding financial issues so that employees do not suffer in silence and can access the support available to them. Research from a Wealth at Work survey found that 14% of UK adults say that financial worries make them feel embarrassed, rising to 23% of 18 to 34-year-olds.

As a nation, we might not feel terribly comfortable talking about our finances but, if we remove the stigma of talking about financial insecurities and worries, we can start to create plans to alleviate financial concerns and promote mental wellbeing. Here are a few top tips on how to remove the stigma of mental health in the workplace:

1. Deploying Mental Health First Aiders (MHFAiders®) in the workplace

The role of a MHFAider® is to be a point of contact for an employee who is experiencing a mental health issue or emotional distress. The MHFA course teaches people how to spot the early signs of poor mental health, including the warning signs of common mental health crises.

Research from The Royal College of Psychiatrists shows one in two adults with debt experience mental health issues, and over 100,000 people in England every year attempt to take their own life whilst struggling with debt. MHFAiders are trained on how to approach the person, listen and communicate non-judgmentally and then signpost to relevant support. This interaction could range from having an initial conversation to supporting the person to get appropriate help.

2. Focus on flexibility

There are individual and business benefits to some face-to-face interaction and, whilst at MHFA England I am keen for my teams to be in the office once a month for our all-staff meeting, I am also aware of the cost of travel. Keeping mandated office days to a minimum and providing lunch for everyone, I hope goes some way to mitigating some of the costs. We also have a policy of flexi or condensed hours which can help our employees avoid peak travel costs.

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