We explore the signs of empty nest syndrome and how you can manage this big life transition

Raising children and being a parent sets us up on a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute you’re feeling the joy and pride of seeing them thrive, the next you’re filled with worry, doubt, and frustration as they veer wildly off-track. A lot can be said about parenting… but no one can say it’s a boring endeavour.

Throughout the journey, there are a number of transitions. One that may take you by surprise is the day your child(ren) leaves home and, suddenly, you’re alone again.

“Some parents may find the departure of their child to school or university a relief, time to get their space back, and get on with the goals they’ve been holding back on during the years of parenting,” life coach Geraldine Macé explains. “For some, however, it leaves a big empty space that they have no idea how to fill – an empty nest.”

Empty nest syndrome is a term used to describe the grief, anxiety, and sadness some parents and caregivers feel at this time. Here are some signs to look out for:

Loss of purpose

A feeling some empty nesters may resonate with is being ‘redundant’. Geraldine notes, “Parents may be feeling incredibly sad with a loss of focus, spending hours on their own thinking back to the times they had with their child. Sometimes that can be with a sense of regret for the things that they did or didn’t do while their child was at home.”

Becoming a parent or caregiver changes your life in a huge way, often having an impact on your sense of identity. So it makes sense that, once you don’t have kids in the house to look after, you may feel a little lost.

Languishing

Some empty nesters may also feel generally ‘off’, noticing a lack of motivation. Perhaps you think you should feel exhilarated now that you have more time to dedicate to yourself but, instead, you struggle to focus and lack the energy to do what you used to. The term languishing is used to articulate this sense of listlessness.

Using numbing techniques

“Other signs to look out for are using things to distract themselves so that they don’t have to think about how they feel, such as with food, drink, shopping, watching TV, gaming, or exercise,” Geraldine says. If you’re trying to distract yourself from the difficult emotions you’re feeling, this could be a sign of empty nest syndrome.

Restlessness

For some parents and caregivers, having an empty nest paves the way for some true relaxation, however, those experiencing empty nest syndrome may find this a struggle. Instead of being able to switch off, empty nesters may find themselves worrying about their child(ren) excessively, and unable to concentrate.

More emotional

There are a range of feelings that can come up during this time, so you may notice your emotions are close to the surface. “As parents try to negotiate this transition, they may find themselves feeling more emotional than normal,” Geraldine explains. “Tears come readily, or they may find that they get angry more easily.”

Relationship conflict

Raising a family will likely have an impact on y

While the arrival of a new baby is a time for celebration, it can also be stressful for new mums – whether that’s due to running on lack of sleep, difficulties with feeding, or just adjusting to life being responsible for a brand new human. Here we’re sharing practical tips you might not have thought of to support a new parent in your life

Navigating life with a new baby can be tricky for many; research has shown that lots of mums don’t feel either informed or supported in the postpartum stage of their life, whether that’s with mental health support, or even household jobs. Many guests bring lovely gifts to spoil the newborn, but can neglect to consider what parents actually need help with. So, if your friend or family member is soon to be welcoming a child into the world, here are some practical ways you can show them some support.

1. Work with them to find the best time to visit

While there’s nothing quite as precious as a cuddle with a newborn, ensure you find a time to visit that works for the parents. Don’t try to guess when they’ll be up for visitors; some mums might not feel recovered enough to accommodate guests in the early weeks, while others might be keen to have company as soon as they’re home from hospital.

Dropping them a message to congratulate them and enquire when they’d be up for a visit is a great idea. And remember, even if you’re in the area, don’t just pop by unannounced – nobody wants to be responsible for waking a sleeping baby!

2. Offer practical help when you arrive

Some mums might just want a chat over a cuppa, but do offer practical help where you can (and make sure you brew up yourself rather than expecting the new parents to serve it). Try not to create additional work with your visit, and instead provide an extra pair of hands – some mums might be happy to hand over their baby for a cuddle so they can have a hot shower, while others might prefer to stay closer. If that’s the case, offer to make them lunch or do the washing up while they’re busy feeding. Before you’re due to drop by, it can be worth asking if they need anything grabbing from the shops to save them making a trip as well.

These small jobs can make a real difference. “New mums will prioritise the baby’s needs over their own, so making sure she is eating and drinking enough is really important,” says Natasha Crowe, a psychotherapist who specialises in fertility, motherhood, and perinatal support.

3. Ask about mum

Pregnancy can be such a joyous time for mums-to-be, but the postpartum period that follows can bring new mum’s back to earth with a bit of a bump! With so much fussing over baby, mum’s needs are often missed – yet the ‘baby blues’ are very common in the first few weeks, with symptoms including feeling irritable, emotional for no reason, or anxious, so don’t forget to offer a listening ear to any new mums.

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