We all deserve to embark on those first steps towards healing, but what does that look like in reality, and how can we learn to enjoy the ride?

Many of us are on a journey towards healing and self-transformation. It might be following trauma, periods of ill-health, the end of a relationship, abuse, burnout, bereavement – or, perhaps, simply because we want to be better versions of ourselves.

And change can happen. In fact, research published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explored how most of us would like to change ourselves in some way, and that people who were able to do so, in ways that aligned with their desires, tended to experience increases in wellbeing over time as a result.

Of course, though a hopeful reminder, those data-backed conclusions don’t completely capture the full picture of the healing journey – the good days and the bad days, the hurdles and uphill struggles – let alone the fact that healing is about so, so much more than just changing ‘something’ about yourself; it’s about tending to emotional wounds, unlearning unhelpful thought-patterns, grieving, forgiving, and learning. So, what can we do to make it a positive and successful experience?

Bon voyage

Say you’re at the start of your healing journey, what are some common misconceptions that can hold you back? We put this to Dr Liz Sparkes, a health psychologist and life coach, and she answers by looking inwards.

“I suppose the best way to address this is to reflect on my own misconceptions that I have become aware of,” she says. “It’s important to be gentle with yourself and there is no rush. Healing is most definitely not linear, and you haven’t failed if you find you are revisiting the same issues or feelings. As long as you have awareness and take steps forward each time, that’s progress.”

Treating yourself with kindness is more than just a pat on the back, it’s a whole shift in attitude, and it’s key to any journey with healing. But if ‘self-compassion’ feels out of reach for you sometimes, you can easily break it down into its practical elements. Self-compassion researcher Kristen Neff believes it has three main components:

1. Self-kindness, or having the ability to refrain from harsh criticism.
2. The ability to recognise your own humanity, or the fact that each of us is imperfect and each of us experiences pain.
3. The ability to maintain a sense of mindfulness or unbiased awareness of experiences, even if they are painful.

While you’re working on your healing, how does your attitude stack up against these principles? What do you do well, and what might you need to consider working on as you move forward?

Off-trail

“There is more than one route to the top of the mountain,” says Dr Sparkes. “It’s very empowering to realise that nobody else has the ultimate answers, they come from within.”

She goes on to highlight the ways that we can do everything ‘right’ – access the right support, the right guidance, the right environment for healing and development – but, ultimately, this journey is

There’s more to beekeeping than just the yummy honey! Looking after the busy insects is good for the planet, can improve your mental wellbeing, and really boost your self-esteem. It’s time to uncover what all the buzz is about

My son announced recently, quite unexpectedly, that he wanted to buy some bees.

Now, while this might be considered strange bee-haviour, it is perfectly in-tune with his dream of living a happier, and altogether less stressful existence.

Plans to live in a van with his partner and two children have, for the time being anyway, come to naught, and so acquiring some bees is the latest stop on the road to a more sustainable, healthier, and better-balanced lifestyle.

At first, I must admit, I was a little sceptical, but with my interest piqued, I decided to delve a little deeper and it seems that working with bees, or apiculture to the initiated (the word is derived from the Latin apis meaning bee), really can improve your mental wellbeing and boost self-esteem.

Human interaction with wild bees can be traced back 10,000 years, while beekeeping began domestically in North Africa 9,000 years ago, with pottery vessels being used as crude hives.

Fast-forward to the 21st century, however, and bee numbers are declining rapidly. So much so that 20 May has been declared World Bee Day. Approved by the United Nations, the day offers an opportunity to raise awareness about the threats to bees caused by human activities.

You might have noticed that these last couple of years have been a bit difficult for us humans, too. In fact, 48% of UK adults say the pandemic has negatively affected their wellbeing. Getting outside, taking a moment, and really connecting with nature has become more important than ever.

Research into exactly how interacting with nature can positively affect our mental health is being conducted all the time, but repeated studies show that spending time in our natural surroundings can produce an inner peace and boost self-esteem, helping us to feel good about ourselves, and see things that may be troubling us in a different, more positive light. But what if you could do more than that? What if you could help nature while you were helping yourself, how good would that make you feel?

But why should I care about bees? I hear you ask. Well, according to Friends of the Earth, bees help produce around one-third of our food supply, provide us with half of the world’s fibres, oils, and other minerals, provide food for wildlife, aid us in developing medicines, and contribute to the prevention of soil erosion. Quite a list!

Catherine Howell is co-director of Barefoot Kitchen CIC (Community Interest Company), a social enterprise based in Middlesbrough, in North Yorkshire, that delivers “plot to plate projects for people, places and the planet”. She is passionate about creating beautiful spaces for others to enjoy, and is a keen advocate of community activism.

Catherine and her small team (who operate on a co-operative basis) deliver projects that link the outdoors with wellbeing, and were instrument

Mondays can be hard, so refocus your energy with these uplifting affirmations

Mondays can be a drag. And when you’ve got an overwhelming, never-ending to-do list in front of you, the stresses of the week ahead are creeping up, and the thought of putting one foot in front of the other feels too much, it’s easy to be filled with Monday morning dread.

While we can’t actually take away the source of the dread – as much as we might want to – there are some tried and tested techniques for building up resilience, and affirmations top the list.

Affirmations are short, simple phrases that we can repeat to ourselves to ground us in the moment, and to remind ourselves of the strength we have inside. They can also prompt us to refocus our attention on the reality that we face, and are a helpful reminder of the ability that we each have to take some control back over our mindset.

These affirmations are designed to help build a sense of calm and reassurance, so that you can go on to face the day, and the week ahead, with confidence and resilience. Repeat them to yourself first thing in the morning, or whenever you need an extra boost. Each week brings new challenges our way, but by dedicating just a small amount of time to this simple practice, you could uncover the key to staying balanced.

1. Today is a new day.

2. I am committed to my personal growth.

3. I am capable of tackling any obstacle.

4. My thoughts do not control me, I control my thoughts.

5. I am worthy of investing in myself.

6. My feelings deserve to be recognised.

7. I am the architect of my own life.

8. I give myself permission to follow my dreams.

9. I can deal with the hurdles that come my way.

10. I am safe.

11. I know what I am doing.

12. I deserve respect.

13. I recognise my achievements.

14. My feelings are valid and I Iisten to them.

15. I do not need to prove myself to anyone.

16. I live in line with my values.

17. I will take time to find joy in my day.

18. I am calm.

19. I will make time for myself when I need it.

20. I will achieve my goals.

Need extra support? You might benefit from working with a life coach. Find out more, and connect with a professional using lifecoach-directory.org.uk

We look at the pros and cons of taking a mental vacation when things get tough

Escapism can come in many forms. Perhaps you find it when engrossed in a good movie or maybe when endlessly scrolling funny videos on TikTok. It’s that feeling you get when you lift yourself out of the here and now to somewhere else – somewhere that feels better for your mind.

Over the last few years, I would hazard a guess that more of us are indulging in escapism. Real life can be… a lot. Whether it’s the pandemic, social justice issues or worldwide tragedies, it’s understandable that some of us feel the need to check out mentally from time to time.

I’ve always thought of escapism as a purely good thing; something we need now and then. But is there a point where escapism could be detrimental to our mental health?

Let’s look at some of the pros and cons.

Benefits of escapism:

It can help reduce stress

This is perhaps one of the most common reasons we turn to escapism. Getting lost in a favourite book, daydreaming while listening to a song or playing a video game can all help us switch off, release tension and reduce stress. When things get too much, a little escapism gives you the equivalent of a mental vacation, but it’s important to remember this is only treating the symptoms of stress. To truly reduce stress, we need to identify the root cause.

It can inspire us

Creative pursuits can be a wonderful ticket to escapism. Doodling imaginary scenes, making music, watching films/TV that makes us think, writing stories… it can all inspire us to think more broadly and spark a fire within us. These forms of escapism can be considered productive and often leave us feeling pretty good.

It can keep us motivated

Sometimes we need to step back to recognise where we’re going. Escapism can help us do that. Try daydreaming about a day in your ‘ideal’ life, from breakfast to bedtime, and ask yourself how it’s different from your current life. What small steps could you take to bridge that gap? Holidays can also be considered a form of escapism and these can offer the break in routine we all need to stay motivated when we get home.

Cons of escapism:

It can be a form of procrastination

Have you ever used escapism when you know you should be doing something else? Perhaps you’re binge-watching a series to avoid family commitments or scrolling on social media instead of working on a deadline. Procrastination often comes up when we’re feeling fearful of a task (maybe we doubt our abilities or feel anxious about it) and escapism can help to facilitate this.

It can lead to avoidance

Taking it one step further, sometimes we can use escapism as a way to avoid difficult emotions. I know I use social media scrolling as a numbing tool when I have an anxiety flare-up, for example. Maybe you shut yourself inside with video games when you’re feeling low.

“Escapism is the opposite of mindfulness – that is living in the moment, of living mindfully. It may be that for you, facing reality is simply too terrifying. This is at the root of your anxiety, the fear of ‘doing the living’, becoming frighten

Where there's a Will... there’s a way to embrace wellbeing, and singer, songwriter, actor, podcast host, and author Will Young seems to be on the right path, as he discusses self-mastery, the importance of intention, misconceptions about fame, and the love of a good dog

"That’s my dog snoring in the background, I’m so sorry!” Will Young explains, smiling from the other side of the screen. His handsome rescue, Domino, the source of the melodic snore, is oblivious to the conversation as Will continues, sharing the experiences that led him to write and release his most recent book, Be Yourself and Happier: The A-Z of Wellbeing.

Will has so much to offer when it comes to talking about mental health. Back in 2011, he had a breakdown, accompanied by crippling agoraphobia. This period of severe mental ill-health was also the beginning of his desire for deep personal exploration, and he went on to work with multiple therapists, trial different modalities, and proactively educate himself on the mind-body connection.

For the past eight years, Will notes, he’s been fully immersed in the world of wellbeing, and he’s eager to help others if he can, by sharing the insights he’s gained along the way.

“It’s enlightenment really,” he says, reflecting on his discoveries. “When I got into myself and broke into past traumas and behaviours, I hit a wall – a wall that I had, through survival, not wanted to climb over, or even break through. As I learnt more about my humanity, I just wanted to share it. I’m really fascinated, I love the subject of mental health and wellbeing, and it’s sort of become my passion.”

To keep the mental health conversation going and growing, Will now hosts ‘The Wellbeing Lab’ podcast, a weekly exploration of therapy and life’s challenges. He’s covered an array of topics including shopping addiction, body dysmorphic disorder, sex addiction, and loss of sex drive, and he’s spoken to experts about boundaries, somatic therapy, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), and dealing with rumination. Listeners write in and share their experiences, and, in turn, Will shares how certain topics resonate with him.

Putting his lived experiences front and centre of his work in wellbeing is crucial to Will. It helps him to develop an authentic connection with people who are looking for a more positive way forward, as he was. “All the stuff I do, comes from my own behaviour, so it’s from a place of absolutely no judgement,” he says. “Hopefully my book opens a door into a way of becoming what my old therapist, Louis Evans, used to call a ‘functional adult’ and gaining self-mastery, which is what we all want.”

Listening to Will talk about wellbeing and how we manage ourselves is really refreshing.

He’s taken years of therapy and study, and reframed it in a way that’s accessible. He advocates for a series of small personal behaviour tweaks and daily self-awareness practices that can make a huge difference in how we show up for ourselves and others.

Will believes that it’s imperative to start wi