Are you feeling disconnected from yourself, or lacking direction? A little introspection, and some time and space to soul-search could lead you down the pathway to you best self

Hello Happiful readers,

The thrill of knowing where you’re heading, even if you don’t know exactly how you’re going to get there, is hard to beat.

That certainty in your heart about what it beats for, what fuels your fire, and guides your spirit, can give you courage in the face of any challenge, and a quiet confidence that you know your true purpose.

But, at the moment, there seems to be a collective feeling bubbling below the surface; a sense of being lost, lacking direction, or that we’re set on a course that isn’t fulfilling us any more.

We might feel adrift in a sea of uncertainty, carried along by a current that we’re struggling to break free from.

So, how can we find our way again? And is it possible to take back control of our own destiny?

The solution could be to give ourselves the time and space to do a little soul-searching, to quench our curiosity, and explore our true needs on the ever-changing path of life.

Issue 63 of Happiful is all about that journey to figuring out your innermost needs and desires – what is your guiding star?

From taking the plunge and chasing adventure with adult gap years on p48, to growing older with joy on p17, and a guide to finding your true calling on p32, it’s time to discover what speaks to you.

Plus, this print edition includes:

• In-depth journaling pages to nurture your personal growth, and help you flourish as your best self.

• Essential life hacks from addressing ADHD in the workplace, to what to do on the really bad days, and how to find a healthy balance with news consumption.

• Professional insight from a range of experts on topics including birth anxiety, weaponised incompetence, nature therapy, and nutritious, refreshing recipes.

Don’t worry about the direction everyone else is setting sail on; follow your own intuition. Now is the moment to break free from your comfort zone, and discover the great unknown longing in your life.

As JRR Tolkien wrote: “Not all those who wander are lost.”

Sometimes, when you stray from the path, and create your own, is exactly when you find yourself.

Rebecca Thair
Editor

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Do you know your love language? What about your partner's? Discover the ways you like to express and receive love, to ensure the lines of communication remain clear

No matter how much we love our partners, sometimes, it can feel like we get tongue-tied expressing it, or that we’re reading signals the wrong way. We may know that communication is key to a healthy, lasting relationship, but are you communicating in a way that matters most to your partner?

What are the five love languages?

Developed in the 1990s by author and counsellor Gary Chapman, the five love languages are a method of explaining the different ways people like to express and receive love. These include:

• Acts of service
• Physical touch
• Quality time
• Gift giving
• Words of affirmation

But can learning about our partner’s love language really help us communicate? Psychotherapist Beverley Blackman explains more.

“Learning each other’s love languages (we usually have two preferences that stand out) can help you understand your partner better,” says Beverley. “In the early days of a relationship, a person may be looking for a particular behaviour as validation that the relationship is heading in the right direction. If both partners are aware of their own and their partner’s love language, then it gives them an opportunity to understand them better.

“All love languages are important as everyone is different, and has their own way of expressing affection. It’s little acts of connection that keep a relationship balanced, respectful, and affectionate.”

In essence, our love language is the way we prefer to share how we feel about those we are close to. By learning more about your own love language, as well as the way that your partner prefers to show their love, we can begin to avoid some miscommunication and misunderstandings, as we learn to look for signs that we might have been missing.

The five love languages explained

Acts of service

Who doesn’t like it when life feels that little bit easier? If your love language is acts of service, there’s nothing you value more than when your partner goes out of their way to make your life easier. Whether it’s making you breakfast, looking after you when you’re sick, or picking up an extra task or two around the house when you’re feeling exhausted or low, you firmly believe actions speak louder than words.

Physical touch

What better way to feel close, than through getting close? Those whose love language is physical touch feel most loved when sharing physical signs of affection. This includes everything from holding hands and cuddling, through to kissing and having sex. Sharing physical touch can create a sense of intimacy that is not only affirming, but creates a powerful emotional connection, as well as a sense of warmth and comfort.

Quality time

There’s no greater gift than the gift of time. If quality time is your love language, you feel most appreciated when your partner wants to spend time with you. Active listening, eye contact, and having their full attention (without distractions of

It’s time to tear down those fences (not literally), and connect with the community next door. Here’s how you can strike up a conversation in the street, and turn good neighbours into good friends

For some, the pandemic placed an added significance to our sense of community, as we stayed close to home and people helped each other out. But still, many of us aren’t familiar with who lives on our street, or even next door, with 73% of people in the UK saying they don’t know their neighbours.

I’m a shy person, but really value connecting with others. So, recently, I’ve found myself feeling frustrated at how little I know about the people who share my street, who I see every day. If you’re in a similar boat, you might be asking: what can I do to feel more confident and start making these community connections?

Lend me some sugar

Although we may be unsure about reaching out to our neighbours, there are good reasons to give it a try. “Getting to know our neighbours has so many benefits,” explains life coach Sohaila Sophia. “Even just a simple ‘Hello’ every day can give our wellbeing a huge boost! Increased social connection supports our mental wellbeing, and decreases our rates of anxiety and depression. A sense of social connection is one of our fundamental human needs.”

Developing our relationships with our neighbours builds our sense of community, and helps us feel safer. Plus, you never know if a quick chat with someone about the weather could end up developing into a meaningful friendship, bringing with it all the joys that come with making new friends.

Knowing our neighbours increases our feeling of belonging, too, something Sohaila explains is essential to being happy and fulfilled. “When we feel part of something such as a community, we feel supported, and when we feel supported we can often cope better in life, and experience less stress and anxiety,” she says. “Feeling a sense of belonging to our community can help us to feel like we are living with more purpose and meaning. When we feel as though we are living with more purpose and meaning, we often experience less stress and depression.”

There are pragmatic advantages, too. I’d love to be able to pop next door to ask to borrow their hedge trimmer, or to know I’d have someone to turn to for help if I locked myself out, or had an emergency. With these close-knit connections can spring comfort and support.

Reach for the stars

It’s normal to feel nervous about getting to know your neighbours – I know I certainly do. So, to build your confidence, Sohaila recommends starting with small actions. Smiling or waving, or saying good morning helps to break down barriers. It also shows you’re friendly and open, and the kind of person who would be willing to pause for a chat.

Give it a go and see how your neighbours react. Don’t be disheartened if they don’t seem to acknowledge you – they could have been distracted, having a bad day, or even be taken by surprise. I must ad

Laura Brand is on a magical mission to help us all embrace creativity and welcome joy into our lives. Through her new book, The Joy Journal for Grown-ups, she’s gifting us with permission to be curious and play, in the most beautiful and nature-inspired ways

Close your eyes for a moment, and think back to when you were a child. What type of playful, creative activity did you love? Now ask yourself: when was the last time you did that as an adult, and what is stopping you from doing it now?

When I did this exercise, I remembered picking up rose petals from the garden and storing them in a jar with water to make ‘perfume’, building elaborate sandcastles bedecked in shells on the beach, and creating a school holiday diary covered in a Smash Hits poster, crammed full of scribbles, postcards, and pictures of day trips and family visits.

Decades later, I know that the rose petal perfume probably isn’t worth pursuing, but seeking out shells to appreciate their beauty, keeping a diary, or drawing pictures of moments that really matter to me? They sound like beautiful things to do.

Author and illustrator Laura Brand is dedicated to championing the benefits of engaging in creative play like this for people of all ages. Her personal adoration of creativity stems back to her childhood, and playtime with her own children, Mabel and Peggy, provided the catalyst for curating and writing two truly beautiful books on the subject.

“When my daughter was born I started to look for ways to be a little bit more mindful in parenthood, and in general adulthood, so I started engaging her with creativity and nature – my passions,” Laura explains. Their discoveries inspired The Joy Journal for Magical Everyday Play, the publication of which prompted heartwarming reader feedback.

“I had so many messages,” Laura beams. “From lovely parents, or the aunts, uncles, and grandparents in some cases, who said that getting outside with the children, using a little bit of imagination, and being permitted to play in a way that’s a bit slap-dash, with an emphasis on ‘have a go’, brought about feelings of nostalgia and a feeling of being nurtured.”

These comments inspired Laura to develop her new book, written for adults: The Joy Journal for Grown-ups: 50 homemade craft ideas to inspire creativity and connection. She focused on activities that she loved or wanted to learn, such as candle and soap making, creating wreaths for any occasion, and experimenting with painted glass – all beautiful, ways to slow down, find our flow, and welcome in some joy. Because, as she explains, that’s a really great thing for grown-ups to do, too.

“We are still allowed, in adulthood, to play. It’s quite hard to remember and do that, and to feel like we’re making the most of our time. The idea is to invite people to try to get into a creative mode and play, and for it not to necessarily result in these big final products or projects, but just to have a go.”

At the heart of Laura’