The Bike Crash

I had this feeling just pulsing in me to take Grayson on a bike ride. I cannot even explain how important it felt. So after cleaning the church we headed home and I told Grayson to grab his bike.

He was ecstatic!!!

And I’m telling you, I was full of love and peace and it felt so right that I was actually very ponderous about what in the world I was feeling.

My bike was in the storage unit but Cade had gotten for me before leaving town but had forgotten my helmet. I had the thought that I should be wearing one (though the angle I got I still would have been beat up but more on that later) but I decided it was just a loop around the block so Grayson threw his on and off we went.

I Should Have Listened

As we came around the cul-de-sac, I had the thought, no I should spend time with him. So I motioned to cross the street and we’d go on the walking trail. I could see a little slope from the road to the trail and I had a flat out thought to walk my bike down it. Immediately I rolled my eyes at myself as if I was being wimpy as it was so tiny, and continued forward. Just as I got to the edge I could see that it wasn’t a slope but a little ledge of asphalt and instead of grass that section had loose gravel.

I knew it before it happened.

The tire snagged the broken up asphalt and then skidded through the loose gravel, unable to grip the ground and as much as I tried to save it the bike spun out to the side and launched me forward.

I cannot stop replaying, like an old VHS on rewind, my face about to slam straight into the concrete.

I felt my teeth immediately.

They were no longer where they should be.

“Mom, Are You OK?”

And as I lifted my head to assess the damage I my brain was whirring with the worst. Feeling the blood everywhere and the dirt and the reality of hard concrete under me, both helping me feel secure and pulsing as the enemy that crushed me I felt as though the bones in my face had shattered and my lips had been ripped from my mouth.

And then I heard the softness of a familiar voice behind me…

“Mom!!! Are you ok?!”

I rolled over and started to sit up, absolutely certain I’d just crushed every bone in my right hand and my face…

What are the Chances?

The day before my accident a little girl down the road had come to play with Grayson for the first time. I grabbed her dad’s number just in case, we chatted for a bit and then I carried on with my life.

What are the chances?

I had just watched my face hurl into the asphalt and was slowly pushing myself up from the pavement to look myself over. I glanced up and saw a man walking calmly but pointedly across the street to me. He had a smile on his face and concern in his eyes as he squatted down and said, “Hey, you ok?”

What are the chances that a dad we’ve seen at the bus stop would officially get to know me just the day before?

What are the chances that because of his background he would have seen plenty of bloodied up faces and wasn’t the slightest bit worked up about me?

Lifting me to my feet he walked me across the road, back to our neighborhood and said, “how are you feeling?” Just as a wave of nausea hit.

I told him I thought I was going to be sick and he very calmly sat me day and

The Move – Part 3

Friday night I went to bed worried and a bit defeated but still trying so hard to hold onto a thread of hope. I’d called, texted, emailed everything and everyone I could find. What in the world was going on that people wouldn’t even return our calls and texts about homes?! It was frustrating.

Yesterday morning Cade woke up and looked online one more time.

And two homes were newly available.

I drove like a mad woman, shocked that they had agreed to let me walk through.

And now, we are moving to Farmington.

I’m so grateful.

The Miracle Comes

I guess it really is true that you go until you have nothing left to give and then the miracle comes.

We move in just a couple of days and need to figure out schools, doctors etc. so it’s going to be a week to get through. But it’s also going to be the beginning of a story yet to be written and how exciting is that?!

I still have a summer of miracles to tell you all about. Miracles, I’m learning are often not in the ask, the real miracles are in the people and moments along the way. But yesterday, that was a miracle for sure and I’ll never deny that while it’s not the plan we’d set out for, it’s certainly going to end up even better for the people we find there.

Waiting

Someone, gosh maybe EVERYONE saw me do it.

I cried a broken cry on the freeway as out loud I said:

“Where are you?!”

I was driving home from having found a house that we could rent until we find a more permanent forever, but I didn’t experience the feels like you would have expected.

It didn’t feel miraculous.

Though I’m certain it was.

I didn’t feel that acknowledgment of peaceful or right though it is.

Instead, it felt empty.

We’d prayed, fasted, hoped and acted all summer in faith that we were to move north.

We paused buying a home when nothing felt right and turned our attention to renting. I will be honest, that’s hard for me. I like to be settled and to be home but I could see that there might be a better story in “waiting” – the motto of my life
Out of all the homes we contacted about renting, I’d guess only 2% even responded to texts, phone calls and emails.

The Sunbeams that Barely Reach Us

It was BEYOND frustrating.

So where was God?

We were doing everything “right” and we felt hope and devotion to the miracle, so where was it and where was He?!

The homes on Saturday are lovely homes. The one we will move to is literally the only one that responded, was available and the nicest people own it.

So was it a miracle?

Sometimes we want to have the sun not only rise but completely envelop us in its light AND its warmth. But often its far away and we miss the streams that, like in this photo, barely reach to us as a reminder that it’s there, it’s coming, but not yet.
I think wh