Whether it's a physical or mental space, discover your own personal sanctuary and take a moment to retreat

In 2021, researchers from the University of Oxford had a breakthrough. The culmination of 15 years of research and clinical practice, they trialed a new way of treating patients with psychosis: The Feeling Safe Programme. Working on the basis that fear can exacerbate persecutory delusions and lead to behaviour that isolates and ostracises people, the programme helps people develop new memories of safety – and it works. The trial found that the Feeling Safe Programme was the most effective treatment for persecutory delusions, rising above other treatments, such as befriending and CBT.

And it makes sense. The desire to feel safe and sheltered has been around since the first caveman headed into the rocks, and today that right to shelter is set in stone under Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

For many, ‘shelter’ is more than just four walls, and the places that give us that sense of safety don’t just protect us from the elements, they take us away from everyday stresses, pressures to perform, angst, noise, and daily demands. More than just a shelter, spaces become a ‘sanctuary’.

Our own personal sanctuaries will look and feel completely different, they might be within four walls, or they might have none at all. But for all their many shapes and sizes, they each have one thing in common, and that’s the way they make us feel.

Higher ground

“I am a big fan of treehouses, from the most basic attempts by the youngest of hands to the full-on, flashy, luxury kind,” Chloe Barry, an art psychotherapist and nature-inspired therapist, shares as she reflects on the sanctuary she had as a child. “Even though the treehouse of my youth was very basic, it was my refuge, a little place accommodated by nature that held me protectively within its branches.”

Chloe’s treehouse was essentially a few planks of woods nestled between two conifer trees in the back garden of her family home, yet it still felt incredibly significant – crucially, she says, because the climb up the tree was a little too awkward for ‘big people’.

“The treehouse offered me the ultimate sanctuary, which was an opportunity to be alone without feeling alone,” Chloe says. “I feel like a treehouse is perfectly poised to hold this ambiguous need of mine in balance, as it feels like you enter another world where the human humdrum is quietened, yet the sounds of nature are there for you.”

These days, Chloe has taken what she learnt about environments that feel safe and welcoming, and created the Treehouse Art Studio – a beautiful treehouse, built by her husband, designed to host art therapy sessions. As she sees it, the space is a vital part of what makes those sessions so impactful.

“In some ways, simply moving from ground level to treetop level has a subtle psychological impact, in that it implies a shift toward new ways of understanding ourselves,” she says. “It also helps that the treehouse art studio is nestled between a lovely sweet chestnut tree on one side and an oak tree on the other, while other trees nearby all add to that sense of retreating into nature.”

Chloe

What do you think would make you describe your life as satisfying and successful? According to research, it’s the quality of your friendships more than anything else…

Robin Dunbar, professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of Oxford, and author of Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationship, makes it clear: friendships are vital to our happiness and longevity.

The single best predictor of our psychological health, wellbeing, physical health, and even how long we live, is the number and the quality of close friends that we have. The same conclusions were drawn by researchers in the longest study on happiness, which followed 268 men over 75 years of their lives. Men with warm, social relationships and friendships considered their lives successful and lived longer, were wealthier, and had more satisfying marriages. However, this was only true if the social relationships they had were of high quality.

With this striking evidence in mind, improve the quality of your friendships with three easy hacks.

1. Make room in your busy schedule to spend time with your friends

Friendships are so vital to our wellbeing, happiness, and longevity because of the effect that friends have on our body. “The things you do with friends, whether it be laughter, singing or eating together, triggers the endorphin system in the brain,” explains Professor Dunbar. “This, in turn, supports the immune system, destroying viruses and some cancer cells. So, the things that might cause you serious discomfort or serious illness are either eliminated or reduced. And, therefore, you live longer.”

Importantly, this effect on our body is the strongest when we are physically with our friends. Social media and phones are useful devices for maintaining friendships, as they remind our friends that we keep thinking about them. However, as Professor Dunar stresses, “Nothing really substitutes being able to sit across the table and stare into the whites of the eyes of the other person, and reach out and give them a hug or a pat on the shoulder. These are the things that really kick in the endorphin system”.

That is why making time in your busy schedule to actually see your friends in person is the key to harvesting the wellbeing outcomes of friendships.

2. Find precious moments and stories to share with your friends

When spending time with your friends, concentrate on sharing stories and precious moments, as these bring us together and build further connections. Storytelling and sharing experiences also contribute to the release of endorphins in the brain that makes you feel bonded to the particular person you are doing the selected activity with.

Also, as friends tend to be very similar to us, concentrating on the things we have in common is shown to strengthen our bond.

“There are ‘scene pillars’ of friendships, and the more of those dimensions you share with somebody, the stronger the relationship is,” explains Professor Dunbar. These are your gender, personality, education, ethnicity, interests, moral views, and m

Psychotherapist, author, podcast host, and mum-of-three Anna Mathur shares how negative comparison can so easily creep into our lives, but with some self-compassion and awareness, we can see the bigger picture

How many times have you found yourself scrolling through social media and sensing the crushing weight of comparison? You might be taking a five-minute break from work, while everyone else seems to be living their #bestlife, jetting off on holiday, or preparing homemade picnics for a blissful afternoon, while you’ve just spent the entire morning scrubbing porridge off the wall from a breakfast mishap.

It’s a universal truth that each and every one of us will fall foul of the comparison cloud at some point in our lives, as psychotherapist Anna Mathur explains on Happiful’s podcast, ‘I am. I have’. And she’s more than willing to share how it impacts her, too.

“Comparison turns up in so many different areas of my life,” she says. “It’s a constant dialogue I have to have with myself, and if I don’t it can just run riot!”

However, Anna is quick to explain that comparison is not a wholly negative behaviour.

“Comparison in and of itself is a self-protective force,” she notes. “Comparison can help us to judge if perhaps we could do something better; we might look at someone else’s situation and realise that there’s something we want to be doing, and it drives us forward and motivates us to go after that for ourselves, if it’s something positive.

“And if you look back to caveman days, comparison kept people safe then,” she continues. “You might have realised that you weren’t as strong as another person, so they would be the better bet for hunting and gathering. Comparison can be about assessing ability, so that everyone is using their strengths and resources in the best way.”

Thinking about comparison in this light could certainly help us to question why we are comparing, what we’re taking away from the act, and why it’s necessary for us in that moment. Curiosity around why a particular person’s situation makes us reflect upon our own life could lead to some insights as to how we’re coping, where we might feel stuck, want to grow, or indeed need help from others.

So, how do we determine when comparison is leading us to take stock of where we are and want to be, and when it’s simply become a stick to beat ourselves with?

“Comparison becomes problematic, and this is something I personally struggle with, when I use the difference between me and someone else to make a statement about myself,” Anna admits.

“Say I’ve had a really rough morning with the kids, and I’ve not responded in a way I feel particularly proud of, and then I go shopping and I see a mum being so incredibly patient with her toddler having a tantrum. What happens in my brain is very, very quick: ‘She’s a better mum than me. I’m a rubbish mum. I’m a failure.’

“In a split second, I’ve made two incredibly powerful statements about myself: being a rubbish mum, and a failure. Can you imagine going up to another woman and sayi

Specifically aimed at students in further education, a new journal co-created by Samaritans and The Positive Planner seeks to improve wellbeing

University can be a brilliant, joyful experience for many. But it can also be tough on mental health. For those with existing mental health concerns, living away from parents (often for the first time), the pressure to make new friends and being put under the stress that comes with further education can all exacerbate conditions. It can also trigger the onset of conditions for some as they navigate a new stage of life.

The pandemic has, perhaps unsurprisingly, made matters worse for some. The NUS (National Union of Students) has reported that half of students say their mental health is worse than it was before Covid, noting feelings of anxiety, stress, loneliness and depression.

Coming together over a mutual concern for students’ mental health, suicide prevention charity Samaritans has joined forces with wellbeing journaling brand The Positive Planner to create The Positive Student Planner. The partnership arose after students asked for an alternative to online support. After two years of the pandemic where everything from studying to socialising took place online, students were keen for something different.

The planner guides students to develop coping mechanisms for tougher times and more positive habits to support them long-term

This new planner (created with the help of leading student mental health expert Dr Dominique Thompson and UK students) supports students in a practical and emotional way. Helping users better understand their thoughts and feelings, the journal also encourages self-care while tackling common challenges such as budgeting, meeting new people and balancing work and fun. The planner also guides students to develop coping mechanisms for tougher times and more positive habits to support them long-term.

Within the planner there are daily journaling pages, meal, time and budget planning pages, self-acceptance exercises, breathing exercises and tools to challenge negative self-beliefs. Students who buy the planner will also receive regular emails with tips from their peers, written by student writers at young people’s mental health charity Student Life.

While Samaritans are best known for their support to those in crisis, they also encourage people to look after their wellbeing every day in an effort to prevent people reaching crisis point

Journaling encourages reflection, self-awareness and an exploration of thoughts and feelings, all of which can be incredibly beneficial to mental health and wellbeing. While Samaritans are best known for their support to those in crisis, they also encourage people to look after their wellbeing every day in an effort to prevent people reaching crisis point.

Neil Gilbert, Head of Supporter Innovation and Insight at Samaritans commented:

“Further education is a significant transition for people embarking on young adulthood – one many find challenging or lonely as they grapple with the reality of their independence. We jumped at the chance to work with The Positive Planner, along with students from a range of backgrounds, to co-design a resource that will help students prioritise and manage their own wellbeing at a time when it has never felt more needed. This is just one of the way

We share everything you need to know about period poverty, where you can find free period products, and how you can support great organisations helping those in need

Periods. Nobody enjoys them. For people who menstruate, we can expect around 40 years worth of visits from aunt flow, expecting to spend around £5,000 on sanitary products. But with such varying experiences of menstruation (periods lasting anywhere from two to seven days on average, every 21 to 35 days in a typical cycle), it’s not only our physical experience that differs from person to person: it’s whether or not we can afford period products every month.

Scotland became the first country in the world from 15 August 2022 to provide free period products to everyone who needs them. It made us ask: how common is period poverty? What can we do if we’re experiencing financial difficulties and need access to free menstrual products? And how can we all help support accessible sanitary products for people who menstruate?

What is period poverty (and how common is it?)

The term ‘period poverty’ refers to problems or a lack of access to period products (pads, tampons, menstrual cups) due to the financial cost. This can impact girls, women, nonbinary individuals, and trans men, at any point in their lives.

The knock-on impact can be missed time at school, college or university; job insecurity due to missed days at work; as well as negatively impacting their sense of wellbeing and social connection. Some people may experience feelings of shame or self-blame, as they may feel embarrassed at their financial situation, or that it’s ‘their fault’ they cannot afford access to necessary sanitary products.

A report released in 2022 by Plan International UK revealed that more and more young people are struggling to afford period products. One in four (28%) of those who menstruate aged 14 to 21 struggle to afford period products, while nearly one in five (19%) have been unable to afford any period products since the start of 2022. One in 10 use food bands to access free period products. It’s not just young people who are struggling. Water Aid revealed that nearly one in four (24%) of those aged 14-50 who menstruate have struggled to afford sanitary products in the last year.

Results of a survey released in 2017 by Plan International UK revealed that one in 10 girls cannot afford sanitary products. One in seven have had to ask to borrow sanitary items from a friend due to the cost. One in 10 have had to improvise sanitary wear.

In the UK alone, it’s estimated that 137,000 children have missed school due to period poverty. While some small steps have been made forward, such as the removal of the 5% tampon tax in the UK from the start of 2021 (previously, 5% VAT was added to sanitary products), many are still relying on foodbanks, charities, and educational institutes to provide access to free sanitary products.

Period poverty can affect people at any age, and is not always income-based. Those leaving situations of domestic vi