If you’re feeling anxious, low and questioning what the point of life is, you could be having an existential crisis

There are certain things that happen in life that make us question the meaning of it all. The death of a loved one, illness, the breakdown of a relationship or other life transitions. For many, the pandemic and the general state of the world have left us reeling in uncertainty and angst.

It can be hard to know what to do with this feeling, but putting a name to it can help. Everyone is different of course, but I think some of us are having existential crises.

What is an existential crisis?

This is a term used to describe that sense of unease you feel about the meaning of life, the choices you make and your freedom. You may be asking ‘what is the meaning of life?’ or ‘what’s the point if I’m going to die one day?’.

You might feel isolated, overwhelmed and unmotivated. This feeling may have come out of the blue, but many of us experience existential crises after a major life event. Some mental health conditions like anxiety, BPD, depression and OCD can also make you more prone to existential crises, but they don’t cause them.

If this is all sounding painfully familiar, know that you’re not alone in how you feel and that there are tools to help you break free.

What can help?

First of all, it can be helpful to recognise that an existential crisis may not be a wholly bad thing. It could give you the nudge you need to reassess what makes you happy in life and how you can find a sense of fulfilment.

When we’re in the midst of existential thinking, we’re zoomed way out. We’re thinking about the big picture and some big topics, so it’s no surprise that we get overwhelmed. Thinking in this way isn’t necessarily bad, but if it’s causing you anxiety, it could help to zoom back in.

Try to narrow your vision to your life and what you find enjoyable and meaningful. Gratitude journaling can be a helpful way to keep track of what makes you smile and what you find personally fulfilling. Connecting with loved ones can also help to lift any feelings of isolation and bring you back to the here and now.

Speaking of the here and now, mindfulness could also be a tool to try. Helping you ground yourself in the present moment, mindfulness encourages us to simply ‘be’, which could be exactly what you need.

What is existential therapy?<

For yourself, and for your loved ones, make sure you’re in the know when it comes to mental health rights

Getting help for mental health problems can be daunting, but knowing what rights we are all entitled to lays a good foundation from which to take those first steps forwards.

There is some variation to the specifics in different countries in the UK, so it’s always a good idea to seek advice for your particular case – but, here, we’ve created a quick, simple guide to mental health rights, so you can become an advocate for yourself and for the people around you.

At work

All employers have a duty of care for their staff, which means that they must do all that is reasonably possible to support staff’s health, safety, and wellbeing. Legally, there’s no difference between a sick day taken for mental or physical health, and you can take ‘mental health days’ when you need them – you’ll just have to follow your company’s usual process for taking the day off sick.

Beyond that, a mental health problem may be considered a disability under the Equality Act 2010 if it has a ‘substantial adverse effect’ on the individual’s life, is expected to last at least 12 months, or affects their ability to do day-to-day activities. If this is the case, the employer must not discriminate against the employee because of their disability, and they must also make ‘reasonable adjustments’. These adjustments might include flexible hours to allow for appointments with GPs and mental health professionals, support withworking practices and workload, and training.

For more information, visit acas.org.uk. Additionally, joining a union means you have someone in your corner, who can advise you on your specific case as and when needed – to find a union for you, visit tuc.org.uk/joinunion

Under-18s

Children and young people under the age of 18 have many of the same rights as adults, although there are some differences to be aware of.

While a young person is in education, if they have a disability or school is difficult because of their mental health, they have the right to access extra support, which might include things like: a safe, quiet place to go at lunch or in between lessons; extra help from a member of staff; and extra time on exams.

Under-18s also have the right to be involved in decisions made about them, such as the kind of treatment and support they will get, who should be involved, and the kind of support that they will get from schools.

Lawstuff.org.uk offers free legal information to children and young people in England, and childline.org.uk can also provide general information about rights.

With your GP

When you go to see your GP about your mental health, you have all the same rights to patient confidentiality that you would do during an appointment about your physical health.

With some exceptions (such as, for example, when you need emergency treatment, have been detained under the Mental Health Act 1983, or are a serving member of the armed forces), you have the legal right to choose which mental health provider you go to in England.

The NHS must also respect your human rights, and you can find out more about mental health and human right

With food costs on the rise and everyday essentials taking up an uncomfortable chunk of our budgets, we ask: how can you really save money on your weekly food shop?

According to the latest figures, we spend an average of 16% of our budget on food and non-alcoholic drinks. For the average UK household, that’s around £3,601 on groceries, and £1,744 on takeaways and eating out each year. That means we’re spending nearly £70 on our weekly food shop, and £31 on takeaways. Other figures have estimated a £643 rise in average grocery bills this year, with shoppers paying around £12 extra each week to buy the same food and groceries.

With inflation at a 40-year high leaving many of us seeing soaring gas and energy prices, while wages for the majority of workers are falling behind inflation, it’s no wonder more and more of us are looking for creative ways to save money.

But other than the obvious changes of cutting back on meals out, ditching the occasional coffee on your way to work, and switching down a brand on your favourite purchases, what can we do to save money on food shopping?

Keep track of what you have

Know what you have in your cupboards before you get started. How many times have we all accidentally bought yet another pack of lasagna sheets, pasta sauces, or our fave cupboard staples? By knowing what you have, you can minimise food waste and your weekly shopping spend. If you struggle to remember what you’ve got, apps like No Waste can help you to easily track your fridge, freezer, and food cupboards, helping you to create shopping lists and plan around the ingredients you've got.

Plan your meals before hitting the shops

We’ve all heard the advice: don’t go shopping on an empty stomach. But it’s not just our hunger that can lead us to over-spending - our lack of planning can lead to us buying an unbalanced basket, relying heavily on more expensive ingredients or ready-made options.

Planning your meals for the week ahead (breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks) can help you to avoid the temptation of splurging on extra takeaways or meals out. It can also reduce the time and energy needed to think about what you’re going to cook - something that can lead many of us to feel demotivated at the end of a long, stressful day.  

Meal planning can also help us to pick more sensible meal options. Making a full-on roast may sound like a great idea when you’re shopping on a Monday, but when Sunday rolls around and you’re feeling the end of the weak dread, you might not have the energy to cook such a big

Stress presents itself in many forms. Learn how to spot and address it from every angle

If someone is drowning, it’s well understood that people don’t necessarily thrash – survival instinct kicks in, and they can look calm to an untrained eye. Yet, when we’re metaphorically drowning in life, we forget to apply that principle.

If we could learn to spot subtle signs of drowning in stress, we could really change our relationship with it, and how we can be there to help each other.

I actually have a story which really epitomises this secret stress bubbling away. I was halfway through a six-week hike, when a friendly man approached me with some almonds. Despite his kind intent, I shut down. I was weary, my body was tired, and I was on the verge of quitting. Feeling out of sorts, in unfamiliar surroundings, I became hyper-vigilant.

I remember watching him take my hand and turn it around. I froze as he put nuts into it. My heart pounded. I threw the almonds to the ground and cried. Feeling incapacitated, already stressed, in open land with little way to get help if I needed to, my body only registered a threat.

While we’re familiar with the terms fight and flight – the response when faced with danger, preparing you for action – there are actually five ‘fs’: fight, flight, freeze, flop, and fawn. What happened to me, in this instance, was a mix of freeze and flop.

So, how can you identify and address each ‘F’?

Fight

In fight mode, you’re tackling things head-on. Full of adrenaline, your thoughts take a back seat as your heart rate increases, pumping blood throughout your body. You might take more risks, like running into a road to save a child. This can feel primal. Be aware of what’s happening in your body, and remember to take a breath. It will be important for you to take time out after a period of stress to let your body settle and recover.

Flight

Problems don’t feel like challenges to be tackled, but obstacles to be avoided. You feel vulnerable, tight in your chest and gut, and instinctively want to avoid, run away, or retreat. You might be very aware of the exit signs in an enclosed space, and may even figure out your escape routes in advance. If your pattern is to flee, place your feet on the ground and breathe deeply and slowly. Stick with your discomfort, and allow it to pass. This will give you time to explore your options. What do you need to make this situation less stressful?

Freeze

You’re like a rabbit in headlights, and your feet feel stuck to the ground. This can happen when escape isn’t possible, because running may lead to a chase, or fighting back invites more attacks. In this state, it is difficult to make any decisions, and sometimes you can’t ask for help because you don’t know what to ask for. It can also feel like all your senses are blocked, and all your energy is locked inside your body with no way out. If this happens to you, let the blankness in for a while; let it be and don’t try to change it. Paradoxically, this will make it pass. This can be helpful if you’re performing on stage, and your mind goes blank.

Flop

You might faint, feel dizzy, or dissociate – disconnecting from your thoughts, feelings, or sense of self to cope with the stress. This can be short-lived or last a long time.

When the time comes to be intimate again following childbirth, it can bring up complex feelings. Here’s how to work through them…

Birth is a powerful and incredible feat, and bringing a child into the world is arguably one of the most life-changing things a person will ever do. But childbirth takes its toll on the body, both physically and emotionally – not to mention the months of pregnancy beforehand, which stretch and push your body to, what feels like, its limits.

Once your little bundle of joy is safely home, you begin the journey of learning how to navigate your lives as a couple, while simultaneously doing your best to take care of your baby.

It may be the last thing on your mind for a while, but there may come a time when you’re ready to resume sex with your partner. For some, sex is an important part of growing and maintaining not only a physical connection with their partner, but also an emotional one.

Thinking about the actual event, however, can be daunting. If you’ve had a particularly traumatic birth, stitches or tears (or even if you haven’t), it’s normal to have some anxiety around sex after pregnancy and birth. Here are five simple and effective steps to help ease your worries.

1. Don’t push yourself

Although it’s best to wait until you’ve stopped bleeding before you start having sex again, after a straightforward birth it’s likely that your GP will ‘sign you off’ at your six-week check for physical activity – which includes sex. However, it’s important that you don’t view this as a ‘must-do’, unless you really feel ready.

Leah Hazard, midwife and author of Womb says: “It’s dangerous and unhelpful to think of the six-week check as a time when women get some kind of professional permission or validation to resume penetrative sex. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to intimacy: every body is different, and every timeline of recovery and readiness is different.”

2. Make time for intimacy

A baby makes you busy. So busy, in fact, that it’s all some of us can do to lie on the sofa mindlessly scrolling on our phones for an evening. But carving out a little time for intimacy – kisses, cuddles, holding hands – can help you feel much more connected with your partner, and allow you to remember the sweetness at the core of your relationship, outside of dirty nappies and feeding schedules.

Leah says: “Some people will feel emotionally and physically ready for intimate touch just a few days after birth, while others may not feel that way for many weeks or months. Both approaches are fine. It’s important to give your body and mind time to adjust, and it’s also helpful to remember that a nurturing physical relationship with your partner doesn’t have to involve penetration, or even genital contact.”

3. Ensure you’re completely ready

Vaginal dryness is a common cause of painful sex after giving birth, and it’s really key not to push yourself if you’re hurting. Even if you’re in the middle of what you thought might be your first time back between the sheets with your partner, you should press pause on things if you’re feeling uncomfortable or in pain. It’s important