Do some people really have a better shot at achieving their dreams than others? Can anyone be successful, or is it all down to luck? We’re exploring the truth about what it really takes to triumph

When you stop to think about success, what comes to mind? High-earning entrepreneurs, tech innovators, influential activists, bestselling authors? Success comes in many different forms, yet if we’re honest with ourselves, there are a lot of assumptions we make about how others become successful – and what’s holding us back from reaching the same heights.

Here, we’re putting some of the most common misconceptions about achievements under a microscope, to shine a spotlight on the true secrets of the successful.

Myth: Success means the same thing to everyone

In reality, there’s no single ‘look’ for success. Some people see success as having a big house or money in the bank. Others see it as how they impact the environment, local communities, or give back to charity. Focus on what you value most, and how you define it, and strive for that.

Myth: Only certain personality types can succeed

You don’t have to be an aggressive extrovert to be successful – introverts can succeed, too! From sports star Michael Jordan to philanthropist Bill Gates, success can happen for any and all personality types.

Myth: Following your passion is enough to succeed

Unfortunately, passion alone isn’t enough. Loving what you do can be a great starting point, but taking things to the next level requires hard work, too. You need a 360 approach that allows you growth in various areas – from improving existing skills or learning new ones, to understanding your market, and being open to feedback in order to see progress.

Myth: Success is dependent on your upbringing

Having a solid start in life can give you a big advantage. Knowing you have people to support you (financially or emotionally) makes a huge difference, giving you access to resources others may not have. Yet it’s not the only path to success. Oprah was born to a poor family, and is now worth an estimated $2.6 billion. Ed Sheeran, a big name in the music industry, dropped out of school and slept rough before making it big. Anything is possible.

Myth: You need luck to succeed

Luck can give you a boost, but sitting back and waiting for something magic to happen rarely leads to success. Make your own luck by working hard and seeking out new opportunities.

Myth: You can’t succeed without stepping on other people

You don’t have to be ruthless, put others down, or take unearned credit to succeed. Focus, determination, confidence, and building a strong network that you can rely on (and that can trust you) is key.

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Separating fact from fiction: Here’s what you need to know about narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) tends to have a bad reputation. If you search for it on Google, you’ll be presented with a definition: ‘A mental health condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.’

It’s no surprise, then, that diagnosing personality disorders like NPD can be considered controversial. Whats more, experts currently don’t agree on how we can best understand personality disorders or even if we should diagnose them.

But with so much confusion and so many misconceptions surrounding narcissism and NPD, what do we really need to know? And what common assumptions do we have that are just plain wrong?

Understanding NPD

Generally speaking, someone with narcissistic personality disorder has a distorted self-image, believes they are superior to others, and often feel that their opinions, feelings, and interests are more important than others’. They may struggle to empathise with others, exaggerate their talents and accomplishments, or even lie about them. Success and power are extremely important to them. They may appear patronising, be quick to anger if contradicted, and show a need for admiration.

Without help and support, those with NPD may be at risk of developing depression or suicidal thoughts, and relying on substance or alcohol misuse. Building (and maintaining) healthy relationships can be challenging without help.

Common myths and misconceptions

We spoke with Counselling Directory member and counsellor, Peter Klein, to find out more about narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder, and to get answers to some of the most frequently asked questions and misconceptions.

Myth: Narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder are the same thing

“Narcissistic personality disorder, as a definition, is more clear cut than narcissism,” Peter explains.

“Many of those with NPD are unable to connect with others on a deeper level, which means that their relationships are more superficial. Someone with NPD will often not be able to experience empathy, and therefore is more likely to exploit others for their own means.

“Many will also feel a sense of emptiness, which coincides with other problems such as anxiety and depression. Therefore NPD is mostly a far more serious problem than that which falls within the wide range of what is defined as being a ‘narcissist’.”

Myth: All narcissists are incapable of love

While love and relationships may be more difficult for some with NPD, they aren’t impossible. Peter explains, “Narcissism is on a continuum, and healthy amounts can allow people to not constantly overestimate life’s challenges and connect with people without feeling inferior. Many forms of love necessitate an ability to be able to connect, at least in some form